Dh has walked off and left me alone at 1am in the street. 2 miles from home

@downwindofyou "She's not a child she's a fully grown woman."

So at what age is it OK to leave a drunk person in a vulnerable position?

Quite.

I'm 50. If I had any friends who behaved like that then, well, I wouldn't because they wouldn't be my friend.

I'm too old and dealt with enough of my own shit to be pleading with and cajoling another adult.

She's not a child she's a fully grown woman.

And, whilst it can helpful to support someone when they've behaved like a dick. Sometimes the thing that is most likely to make them wake up and do something about it is people holding up a mirror to their behaviour and pointing out that they were a dick.

Coddling people, "poor you"ing them and finding someone else to hold responsible for their behaviour just enables it.

And some people just court drama their entire lives.

She coupd have left with her friends and left him to it.

She could have left and got an uber.

She could have left and walked home with him.

Instead, she dramatically announced on the Internet that she was cold and sleeping on kerb all night because she'd lost her real world audience.

If she's still being contrary and petulant in her 50s, it might just be a character trait 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes, I agree that she didn’t behave in the most appropriate manner but there are probably good reasons for that.
It took me longer than you @GreyCarpet to grow out of that type of behaviour (mid thirties for me) and maybe the OP just needs some support to do that too.

Tbh, this is exactly the sort of thing I'd have done when I was 16-19 years old.

But the OP is 51. She has children.

@Boopadoop90 you need to change your name to kerboflage 🙂

Hope talk with your other half goes well today.

Why are the majority of posters being so unkind to the OP? Do you always act in a logical and sensible manner when drunk or upset?

You left the same venue at the same time and you said you’d walk home. He walked home but instead of walking with him or following, you decided to sit on the kerb for two hours as some sort of test. I think that’s pretty silly of you. You’re an adult. You could’ve walked close behind him or got a cab so you put yourself in this situation and now seem to be taking the line that he abandoned you and didn’t care about you.

Play stupid games
Win stupid prizes

She clearly is insecure though. You can think its bollocks all you like. We don’t know if her DH has contributed to it or not. Her behaviour isn’t right regardless, but still, there might be some backstory, we only know what has been said, a very small snippet. Given she’s 51 with 15 year old twins they’ve probably been married years, so it’s not a case of a relationship that’s early on and she’s started to show red flags. We don’t know what’s preempted this. We shouldn’t just assume that it’s all on her. Either way, it’s toxic and I’ve not denied it. FWIW, being controlling and manipulative stems from insecurity, it’s not a seperate thing.

I think it’s weird how you’ve acted.

you could have walked the 2 miles in the time you’ve been sulking.

@Teanbiscuits33
You think it's not healthy because she's "insecure".
I say bollocks to that. She's manipulative and controlling - that is what's not healthy here.
If he habitually doesn't meet her needs in the relationship, she's free to break it off, no need for kerbside antics.

It's clear to me he didn't want to end the night and/or didn't want to spend it in her company. I've been there with needy and controlling boyfriends who could suffocate nights out with their hogging of my attention and space. They would also often end nights early and I'd be accused of all sorts if I didn't relent to follow.

Are needy girlfriends different from needy boyfriends? The latter are definitely abusive in my experience.

I disagree that the OP was behaving in a controlling or manipulative manner. I think she is having a tough time and would benefit from some kindness and consideration, from her DH and from the posters on this thread.

If you are still following this thread OP, have you thought about getting some therapy to help you deal with the issues in your life at the moment? A therapist could help you
unpick why you behaved like you did last night.

I didn’t say it was healthy, and I’ve said umpteen times that OP should seek therapy, but I don’t think it’s fair to assume that things are all the OP’s fault in this. Her posts suggest that he habitually shows a lack of concern for her. Of course, we only know what she has said, but they both come across badly in this. Him for not waiting for her and saying it was a good thing she didn’t get an Uber, and her for the way she behaved.

Every single adult I've met who needed "help in feeling secure" was using it as a thin veil to cover their controlling & manipulative nature.

This behaviour is so consistent that any man who mentions feeling insecure in relationships might as well tattoo abuser on their forehead.
I haven't had romantic relationships with women to know if it translates directly but I suspect that it does.

My mum used to behave like this. We’d get calls from her in the early hours and one of us would be told to come and collect her from a random garbled location, my dad having long gotten fed up and left her.

She is a mentally ill alcoholic. Might be something to reflect on, OP.

Well said.

She was behaving irrationally under the influence of alcohol. Her constant references to ‘he doesn’t care about me’ ‘ I just wanted him to show he cared about me’ suggest that he often shows a lack of care towards OP, and he even said it was ‘good’ she didn’t get an Uber as they had spent too much money on them.

Whether she was being a PITA or not, she was intoxicated and alone in the dark and cold. Had I been her husband, I would have walked ahead but messaged her to tell her I was on the corner waiting for her and to catch me up, or called her a cab myself if she was being too stubborn to call one herself.

This was my point in my previous posts, not that her behaviour was right or healthy, just that there is more than likely a bit of a backstory and it’s not fair to pile on her as has been the case here.

I think the OP is having a hard time in her life generally at the moment and her DH should be more concerned about her welfare even if she is being reckless or childish.

I can empathise as I used to do stupid things like that, probably up to my thirties. Decades of therapy have helped me but I can totally see why the OP was upset and just needed confirmation that her husband cared about her.

FWIW, my partners never left me in potentially dangerous situations however unreasonable I was probably behaving.

The difference is she’s not a kid. She’s an adult and behaving very poorly. We don’t know how often her husband has had to deal with similar scenes.
If it was her husband in a drunken strop refusing to budge from the kerb and expecting her to come back and get him in
everyone would be telling her to do exactly what he did -leave him, go home and go to bed. She needs to take some responsibility for her choices

The point isn’t really whether he’s right or wrong to have left her. The point most are making is that it was totally fixable once he had - a 40ish minute walk or a 10 min taxi ride. Instead, the OP made herself more vulnerable by staying still and getting colder while the night got later.

I agree with this but most of the other posters seem to be enjoying piling on here to vilify the OP.