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Dh has walked off and left me alone at 1am in the street. 2 miles from home

587 replies

Boopadoop90 · 16/11/2024 00:59

Just that really. We were out with friends, going back to theirs. Dh refused to back to theirs but I don't know why. The others left in a cab. I couldn't leave dh alone in the pub. I I said I'm going home. He said OK. Followed me out in a fit and angry, cos he felt obliged to follow me. He's walked home. I'm 2 miles away from homre and sitting in the cold shivering
He messaged me to ask if I got an uber home. I said no, he said good we've spent £x on uber tonight.

He's walked home and I'm sitting on the kerb, 2 miles away in the dark, cold.

OP posts:
olivechuu · 16/11/2024 02:49

Pickandmixmood · 16/11/2024 02:45

Well said. I can’t believe all the mean comments on this thread

I understand how you would see it as an issue If you are also unable to get yourself home from a night out and choose to lie on the ground if a man isnt there to escort you.

Pickandmixmood · 16/11/2024 02:48

Are you safe now OP. Please can you update to let us know.

olivechuu · 16/11/2024 02:46

NoisyDenimShaker · 16/11/2024 02:38

People keep saying it takes 30-40 mins to walk two miles, but that would be a pretty fast walking speed of 3-4 mph - fast for an average height female. It would take me an hour, easily. Two miles is quite a long way, especially if you're the worse for wear.

3-4mph is a bang average walking speed. A 20 minute mile is considered a fairly leisurely pace.

Ilovelifeverymuch · 16/11/2024 02:46

Boopadoop90 · 16/11/2024 01:10

I'm now sleeping the night on the kurb
He can see my location my clearly doesn't care

You either drunk or a drama queen.

Pickandmixmood · 16/11/2024 02:45

Dreamingofgreentrees · 16/11/2024 02:30

What a lot of shit. Ignore this post. I’d put money on it your H is selfish, self centred and some sort of man child. No decent man would ever leave the woman they live in a vulnerable situation even if she was being difficult. I imagine there has been other things that have led to this point. I hope you are ok.

Well said. I can’t believe all the mean comments on this thread

Ilovelifeverymuch · 16/11/2024 02:44

DogsandFlowers · 16/11/2024 01:05

Cos.... predatory men??!

So she sits there shivering and posting on mumsnet 😂

PinkyFlamingo · 16/11/2024 02:43

Boopadoop90 · 16/11/2024 01:10

I'm now sleeping the night on the kurb
He can see my location my clearly doesn't care

Eh? Why aren't you just walking home?!

lto2019 · 16/11/2024 02:42

Boopadoop90 · 16/11/2024 01:57

How could dh walk off knowing he had left me late at night? Then go home and fall asleep ?

He might not be asleep - he might be watching tv and waiting for his kebab to be delivered.

Shutupyoutart · 16/11/2024 02:40

op I really hope you are at home or at least en route. yes your husband was a dick for leaving you on your own vulnerable in the middle of the night but he has. hes gone home and safe in bed now I sincerely home you are by now too but if not please get off the curb and just get a taxi home or at least to your friends. have it out with dh in the morning.

HollyKnight · 16/11/2024 02:39

olivechuu · 16/11/2024 02:37

Having visions of sloshed OP lying on the kerb outside the pub listening to lonely by Akon 😂

Yelling at passersby about how her husband abandoned her and now she has to sleep on the streets.

NoisyDenimShaker · 16/11/2024 02:38

RhiWrites · 16/11/2024 02:30

It takes 40 minutes to walk two miles. You posted at midnight and updated at 1:40 to say you were still sitting there. Why? You could have been home in less than half the time. Get up, walk home.

People keep saying it takes 30-40 mins to walk two miles, but that would be a pretty fast walking speed of 3-4 mph - fast for an average height female. It would take me an hour, easily. Two miles is quite a long way, especially if you're the worse for wear.

olivechuu · 16/11/2024 02:37

HollyKnight · 16/11/2024 02:35

You're a drunk 51-year-old woman having a tantrum. Your husband won't feel guilty about you sitting on the curb all night because he'll be too annoyed at you trying to be manipulative. Go home.

Having visions of sloshed OP lying on the kerb outside the pub listening to lonely by Akon 😂

Anotherparkingthread · 16/11/2024 02:36

I'd be so embarrassed getting into that state then passing out in the gutter in November, because I was too stubborn, self obsessed and dramatic to get an Uber home.

Seriously you need to stop drinking. It's shameful. What would your kids think. What if people you knew saw you like this?

Edingril · 16/11/2024 02:36

Dreamingofgreentrees · 16/11/2024 02:30

What a lot of shit. Ignore this post. I’d put money on it your H is selfish, self centred and some sort of man child. No decent man would ever leave the woman they live in a vulnerable situation even if she was being difficult. I imagine there has been other things that have led to this point. I hope you are ok.

This is utterly ridiculous the op is an adult responsible for herself

Boobygravy · 16/11/2024 02:35

My dh would never have left me whatever I said or did.
Op is unreasonable but so is her dh.

HollyKnight · 16/11/2024 02:35

You're a drunk 51-year-old woman having a tantrum. Your husband won't feel guilty about you sitting on the curb all night because he'll be too annoyed at you trying to be manipulative. Go home.

Fedupmumofadultsons · 16/11/2024 02:34

For goodness sake sober up and grow up why couldn't you have went with your friends him stay in pub unless you don't trust him .if this is true you will feel a real idiot in the morning honestly I assume married means adult act like one

user1492757084 · 16/11/2024 02:33

You should have walked home also, even if behind him, orordered a cab to your home..
If you are a sober adult, you are responsible for getting yourself home safely. You said you were going home and for him to not bother accompanying you.
Why were you in a huff when DH didn't want to go to friends' home? Why couldn't you both leave the pub together at a time agreeable to the two of you.

You need to work on your communication.
Generally one NO means no, and two yeses means yes.

NoisyDenimShaker · 16/11/2024 02:33

OP, I understand completely how maddening it is that your husband left you alone at night. My ex-husband was completely oblivious that I could ever be in any danger. It makes you feel under-valued and unseen, and there was something that was a unique turn-off about it. A man not doing one of the few basic things that we often depend on them for, like physical protection in some situations, just made him seem like a giant baby. None so blind that will not see. He refused to walk me home once too. You'd think men would know better after that terrible Sarah Everard case.

So I get it. I really do.

BUT. You really are in danger just hanging out on the cold and dark at this time of night. If there's a pervert around, you are ideal prey. Please, please think of yourself and get home or somewhere safe as soon as possible.

Hypothermia is also a real risk, and it creeps up on you.

Just because some oaf thinks you're not vulnerable, and thinks it's OK to leave you alone at night like this, doesn't mean he's right.

Please, please think of yourself and get a cab.

If you must make a point, go to a nearby hotel if possible.

Just get yourself off the streets. You are precious and important and are too valuable to be left alone in the dark, even if that oaf back home doesn't think so.

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease get a cab!!

olivechuu · 16/11/2024 02:32

Boopadoop90 · 16/11/2024 01:04

He was in a huff but don't know why. I said I'm going home, he v reluctantly followed me I said don't bother. He said he wanted to walk home alone. So I let him. I'm in the cold, shivering, a good 2 miles away

…so why didnt you go home when you said you were going to? What posessed you to sit on the ground two miles away from home like a petulant child?

LoneStar7 · 16/11/2024 02:31

Dreamingofgreentrees · 16/11/2024 02:30

What a lot of shit. Ignore this post. I’d put money on it your H is selfish, self centred and some sort of man child. No decent man would ever leave the woman they live in a vulnerable situation even if she was being difficult. I imagine there has been other things that have led to this point. I hope you are ok.

To be fair she’s an adult, not a toddler. What do you think people without husbands do when they go out?

RhiWrites · 16/11/2024 02:30

It takes 40 minutes to walk two miles. You posted at midnight and updated at 1:40 to say you were still sitting there. Why? You could have been home in less than half the time. Get up, walk home.

LoneStar7 · 16/11/2024 02:30

Did you have an embarrassing big barney in front of your friends?

Dreamingofgreentrees · 16/11/2024 02:30

PyongyangKipperbang · 16/11/2024 02:01

Because you are a massive PITA demanding drama queen?

You are a grown woman, married to a man who is utterly sick of your "ME ME ME" dramatics. Dont blame him. I would have taken you at your word too.

Get yourself home and spend time doing some self reflection. Maybe not "how could he " but "WHY would he...."... Think about it.

What a lot of shit. Ignore this post. I’d put money on it your H is selfish, self centred and some sort of man child. No decent man would ever leave the woman they live in a vulnerable situation even if she was being difficult. I imagine there has been other things that have led to this point. I hope you are ok.

SidhuVicious · 16/11/2024 02:29

Time to kerb your emotions and start walking, OP.