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Original poster

Dh has walked off and left me alone at 1am in the street. 2 miles from home

587 replies

Boopadoop90 · 16/11/2024 00:59

Just that really. We were out with friends, going back to theirs. Dh refused to back to theirs but I don't know why. The others left in a cab. I couldn't leave dh alone in the pub. I I said I'm going home. He said OK. Followed me out in a fit and angry, cos he felt obliged to follow me. He's walked home. I'm 2 miles away from homre and sitting in the cold shivering
He messaged me to ask if I got an uber home. I said no, he said good we've spent £x on uber tonight.

He's walked home and I'm sitting on the kerb, 2 miles away in the dark, cold.

OP posts:
maydaymayday1 · 16/11/2024 07:49

Boopadoop90 · 16/11/2024 01:10

I'm now sleeping the night on the kurb
He can see my location my clearly doesn't care

Quit the drama. What's he supposed to do.

liveforsummer · 16/11/2024 07:46

Boopadoop90 · 16/11/2024 01:57

How could dh walk off knowing he had left me late at night? Then go home and fall asleep ?

He probably expected you to follow him, or to go to your mates. More fool you for wasting all that time freezing in one spot

Renamedyetagain · 16/11/2024 07:45

Ffs grow up

Gorgonemilezola · 16/11/2024 07:44

What a drama llama.

Lindjam · 16/11/2024 07:44

notbeenagreatday · 16/11/2024 05:25

You sound like a right martyr you could have been home a lot sooner if you'd started walking instead of sitting on a kerb or called an Uber

Absolutely.

Maybe you shouldn’t drink so much? It’s clearly affected your decision making.

Cnidarian · 16/11/2024 07:43

How's the head this morning??

notatinydancer · 16/11/2024 07:43

You don't know the area.
I wouldn't walk home alone in my city.
@Boopadoop90 just get a taxi.

sel2223 · 16/11/2024 07:42

We've probably all been in your position where there's been a bit too much alcohol consumed, a few cross words shared then someone storms off. It's a lovers tiff, not nice but very normal.

You just get in a taxi or walk home, get some sleep and sort it all out in the morning.

Tomorrow's another day

Teanbiscuits33 · 16/11/2024 07:41

ShiteRider · 16/11/2024 07:38

The behaviour you’re describing is not the responsibility or caused by anyone other than the OP. Excusing it is not helpful.

Anyone who has this level of dysfunctional attachment style would be far better seeking therapy than continuing to test and push away anyone they are in a relationship with.

Show quote history

I haven’t excused it at all. I’ve simply said why I think it might be happening because her husband might make her feel insecure. To be honest, the way he had acted by storming out of the pub in a huff wasn’t great either. I have agreed she needs therapy and the behaviour is toxic. I commented because people were saying how ridiculous it is. It’s childish but not all that peculiar or uncommon.

LoquaciousPineapple · 16/11/2024 07:41

Boopadoop90 · 16/11/2024 01:08

We were supposed to get in a cab to friends house. He refused but don't know why. Friends left
He told me to go with them
But I wasn't going to leave him alone in pub at 11.45pm. Friends left. I then said I was going home. He got the arse and felt like he HAD to follow me
I said don't bother if you feel like that
I've Been sitting on the cold kurb for an hour
He has walked home and messaged to day he's home if I need him. (He's drunk and can't drive to get me )

Edited

So you initially said "I'm going home, you don't have to come, stay at the pub". How did you plan to get home in that situation then, and why haven't you done that?

Why does him leaving the pub with you but wanting to walk ahead slightly mean you ended up sat on a kerb sulking, when you originally said you'd happily go home without him at all in the first place?

ShiteRider · 16/11/2024 07:38

Teanbiscuits33 · 16/11/2024 07:26

She told him to leave to see if he actually would, then she would have the proof that he didn’t care. I know it doesn’t make sense rationally but people who feel insecure don’t always say what they mean.

In her mind, he should have cared about her safety over taking her at her word. I’m not saying she isn’t in the wrong, she definitely is, but things are sometimes more complicated than just simple communication. If more people could just communicate clearly, life would be far easier than it is.

It’s exactly the same reason why people push people they love away, it’s like proving to themselves they were right and they weren’t ’good enough’ for the person to stay.

Show quote history

The behaviour you’re describing is not the responsibility or caused by anyone other than the OP. Excusing it is not helpful.

Anyone who has this level of dysfunctional attachment style would be far better seeking therapy than continuing to test and push away anyone they are in a relationship with.

GreyCarpet · 16/11/2024 07:38

namethisbird · 16/11/2024 07:26

Why did you not get an Uber or Taxi?

She couldn't have dramatically announced she was sleeping on the kerb all night then.

I understand abusive relationships and dynamics but this is the adult equivalent of....

Nobody likes me
Everybody hates me
Guess I'll go eat worms

And she needs to grow up and take a bit of personal responsibility.

Oniya · 16/11/2024 07:36

Two pissed people walk into a bar. One says to other…

Wait that’s not right.

Two pissed people walk OUT of a bar. One says to the other “you’re a big fat meany for leaving me alone despite me telling you to. I was freezing outside whilst I updated MN for an hour on the cold curb. Did I mention it was cold”.

Yawn.

BitOutOfPractice · 16/11/2024 07:36

I love the phrase “play stupid games, win stupid prizes”.

The pair of you sound a. Drunk b. Like teenagers.

glad you’re home. Hope you both sleep it off and apologise to each other tomorrow. Pair of idiots.

PixieTrance89 · 16/11/2024 07:35

So you're alone outside and instead of going home you post on mumsnet?

Teanbiscuits33 · 16/11/2024 07:30

olivechuu · 16/11/2024 07:29

Then she needs to speak to a therapist, not lie on the pavement and start mumsnet threads

Show quote history

I know she does. I didn’t say she didn’t, but the constant ‘he doesn’t care about me’ is a bit of a give away here as well.

Mrsttcno1 · 16/11/2024 07:30

Crazy that as a grown adult anyone would just sit on the curb rather than ring a taxi or order an Uber, madness

olivechuu · 16/11/2024 07:29

Teanbiscuits33 · 16/11/2024 07:27

You’re correct she could have been, but this is classic insecure behaviour.

Show quote history

Then she needs to speak to a therapist, not lie on the pavement and start mumsnet threads

Startinganew32 · 16/11/2024 07:27

If it takes you an hour to walk two miles you need to work on your fitness

Teanbiscuits33 · 16/11/2024 07:27

QueSyrahSyrah · 16/11/2024 07:23

@Teanbiscuits33 Alternatively, the OP could have been this pissed up and ridiculous all night and the DH on his last nerve. Or he could also have been pissed up and ridiculous. We'll never know his side of the story, it's pointless making assumptions / wild guesses.

You’re correct she could have been, but this is classic insecure behaviour.

Blogswife · 16/11/2024 07:26

There are homeless people who risk their lives every night by sleeping on the streets . Many don’t have a choice so glad you saw sense & went home ( although getting a taxi would have been more sensible)
Maybe think about cutting down on the drink if it’s causing you to behave irrationally . What would you say to your DC if they were behaving like this ?

namethisbird · 16/11/2024 07:26

Why did you not get an Uber or Taxi?

Teanbiscuits33 · 16/11/2024 07:26

olivechuu · 16/11/2024 07:21

She told him to leave. Its not her husbands fault she cant communicate like an adult.

Show quote history

She told him to leave to see if he actually would, then she would have the proof that he didn’t care. I know it doesn’t make sense rationally but people who feel insecure don’t always say what they mean.

In her mind, he should have cared about her safety over taking her at her word. I’m not saying she isn’t in the wrong, she definitely is, but things are sometimes more complicated than just simple communication. If more people could just communicate clearly, life would be far easier than it is.

It’s exactly the same reason why people push people they love away, it’s like proving to themselves they were right and they weren’t ’good enough’ for the person to stay.

QueSyrahSyrah · 16/11/2024 07:23

@Teanbiscuits33 Alternatively, the OP could have been this pissed up and ridiculous all night and the DH on his last nerve. Or he could also have been pissed up and ridiculous. We'll never know his side of the story, it's pointless making assumptions / wild guesses.

Jk987 · 16/11/2024 07:23

JawsCushion · 16/11/2024 07:08

This is such a silly situation.

It's ok he didn't want to go to friends. You could still have.

It's okay he wanted to stay longer, you could have stayed or gone to friends or got a taxi home.

All the posts saying the same thing about being cold, sleeping on the kerb, etc are immature. You could have walked home behind him if you didn't want to walk together. You'd not have been alone.

This.

Also why have you got a tracker on your phone? Have you got his password too? Another sign of an unhealthy relationship.