Dh has walked off and left me alone at 1am in the street. 2 miles from home

Read about the drama triangle, about how we enable and maintain drama / a situation by rescuing people from difficult feelings and situations.

Beyond the usual behaviour of someone who cares (which he did, he offered to walk her home even though he didn’t want to go home), it is unhelpful to pander to unreasonable demands (‘you should have wanted to walk me home and done it happily’).

She probably had no idea in that moment that she was behaving so badly and felt justified in it but noone should feel that they have to behave in a particular way because a partner is manipulating them. People reinforcing that behaviour by saying ‘if he was better you wouldn’t have to’ is so unhelpful and will not enable her to change.

Exactly this.

You don't realise it but you're actually being pretty manipulative and you're annoyed because he didn't do what you thought he would.

but that doesn’t mean he is helping the situation by showing up for her when she needs him.
And is their a limit or end to that? I don't understand all the 'oh I'm only horrible and nasty and controlling because I've been hurt so am testing you to make sure you do love me and will show up when I need you'
I mean how abusive is that?!

It’s all a bit “look what you made me do.”

Didn't realise you could now get married at 14.

You were being ridiculous and dramatic, why wouldn’t you just keep walking home surely that’s safer than sat crying on a cold, dark curb? I can only assume you’ve been drinking with how childish you are sounding

So he should have said to her, ‘’OK, you go home, I’ll call a taxi for you and meet you back there in a bit as I’d rather stay out and socialise’’. Therefore, they BOTH didn’t act like adults. She came off worse, yes.

Is your DH on something? Because that is the attitude of someone who was either on something, wanted to get on it and got interrupted (first by the plan of going to the friends’ house, then by you wanting to leave) or… is cheating and has mentally checked out. But something is definitely off.

Saying that, you staying out in the cold by yourself knowing full well he’s drunk and he wouldn’t come and get you accomplishes nothing. I assume you were drunk too because sitting out there and just posting here is just????

I hope you’re feeling better today but open your eyes to whatever is going on right under your nose.

You're being a complete drama llama. Get up and walk or get an uber.

He didnt want to go to the friends house but said she should- she chose not to do so because she didnt want to leave without him.
he wanted to stay in the pub and she said she wanted to go home, so he followed her out only to be told to leave her alone?
you’re expecting a lot of a drunk person to keep persisting when someone is being difficult on purpose

also pp saying "aw don't be mean girls being mean"

sometimes a (possibly manipulative, possibly insecure, possibly abused) poster needs that kick up the backside to see how ridiculous/abused they are and make better decisions.

I bet his tantrum was about money. 💰 the amount spent on taxis he said?

May be I can see my volatile rude STBX husband who always gets in a state about money? Anyhow glad you made even but never again you need to make sure you are safe even is angry.

Correct she is responsible for her own choices, and she should get therapy, but the point of what I said was that everyone here is saying she’s pathetic etc and her husband is probably sick of her, but clearly he isn’t making her feel secure in their relationship.

That might well be all in her head because of her previous experience of feeling insecure, but that doesn’t mean he is helping the situation by showing up for her when she needs him. Her attachment issues are not his problem but doesn’t mean he isn’t adding to them rather than helping her to feel more comfortable. She probably shouldn’t be in a relationship full stop to be honest. I still don’t think he’s acted like a mature adult himself by storming out instead of communicating properly to her.

I am slightly confused by what actually happened here but for next time, OP you have options:

(I don't really understand why you couldn't leave your DH alone in the pub but hey ho)

-you go with the friends and leave DH in the pub (he is a grown man who can make his own decisions)

-you stay in the pub with DH and there's an atmosphere and neither of you enjoy it

-you immediately call an Uber and go home leaving DH in the pub, or he decides to jump in with you

None of the options should be sitting on a kerb in the middle of the night. Althugh it seems far, 2 miles isn't that far. And in any case: call an Uber.

Maddest thread in a long time.

Both of you acted immaturely. You have a child together, grow up.

“Mrs said we were walking home then chose not to walk, Has turned up three hours later with grazed knees and cigarette ends in her hair after lying in the gutter outside the pub”

This is ridiculous. YOU left the pub and told him to stay then you're sitting on a pavement instead of walking home?!?

You're just looking for a fight with him. Glad you finally had the sense to walk home but your actions were ridiculous.

I'd like to read DH's thread....

Presumably you are home now and feeling a bit silly. Time to be cutting down on alcohol?

That could explain a lot!

You said if her husband was a decent man she would be less likely to behave like this. That’s completely reinforcing her dysfunctional, manipulative behaviour (‘if you were the person I want you to be I wouldn’t have to….’) She is 100% responsible for her own choices, and when he didn’t behave in exactly the way she wanted him to, she chose to sit by the side of a road sulking for however long, checking his location to see if he was going to come back to her. I think that is peculiar and uncommon beyond the age of about 20 and outside of people without particular mental health needs.

He was being a dick but I don’t see how sitting on the kerb helped. Suspect it was the drink talking 😂 These things escalate quickly in a drink. Maybe give up the booze for a bit and have a sober chat with DH about how it’s not ok to just leave you. Also, you should have just got a taxi to be safe but also piss him off.