New workmate smells awful

Yes that should work. Also follow @Coolblur 's suggestion and get drunk before approaching the colleague, OP

It’s probably her clothes.
Some of them can be washed but the smell stays.

I would definitely try some hints first and then get more honest.

She’s new and this is going to be mortifying for her and so if you can tell her without saying it directly then that would be better.

I work with an autistic man who doesn’t get hints though and we’re at the point of someone having to say it bluntly but we’re reluctant because he has a lot of things going on right now and this might push him over the edge.

I would initially find out her background in a nice way.
If she’s a single parent with kids, then it may be a cost thing etc.
She could be living in temporary accommodation and can’t do any more than she is right now.

Being blunt to someone who cannot do any more, is not going to help the situation.

I wasn’t taught how to do laundry etc as my mum has MH issues so our clothes were rarely washed.
I moved out as a teen single parent and had to try and learn things as I went along.
I still struggle with the basics and what I don’t know, I don’t know I don’t know.

I thought that by me showering and washing my clothes on a quick wash it would be enough but then a few years ago I read on here about BO smells sticking to clothes.
I started washing on a longer wash (when I could afford it) and had to get rid of a couple of tops too.

If someone told me I smell, I would just wash myself, clothes and wear deodorant.
It wouldn’t get to the route of the problem and just cause embarrassment.

Whereas if you put out some hints then it may actually work better.

E.g. Just having a conversation with someone in front of her about how you/your DH/kid has been smelling recently and you couldn’t work out why because they’d been showering and wearing deodorant everyday, you realised it was the clothes and so you tried putting it on a long hot wash but then it still didn’t work and so you had to throw that top away.

My DH had had this in the past. His way of dealing with it was to say, “you fucking stink, mate!” and give them a deodorant. It worked.

I bet it's cheap clothes made of awful material that the sweat gets absolute stuck in. When I was younger and had less money I had a few primark items like that - the smell never washes out.

Your manager does need to say something though

No- that's really awful. I'd rather someone tell me I stink than that!

@Curlybrunette I can't imagine the embarrassment of having to tell an employee that they smell bad.

It would be such an embarrassing thing to be told as well.

There used to be a middle aged woman when I was in my 20's who smelled incredibly strongly- in a grocery shop we visited.

You could smell her before seeing her- she was a really nice person, so no one ever wanted to say anything- it went on for years- until one day she just stopped smelling.

So someone must have said something.

Some people don't have a sense of smell.

A woman I met in a park said she had no sense of smell after catching Covid- I shoved a bag of Sprats {dog treats} into her hands and said ''can you smell those?'' and she could not!

Dried Sprats are extremely fishy and reeky- so she really was telling the truth.

She held the bag right up to her nose as well.

Uh oh, time for...

Be open and honest. Honesty is always the best policy. Definitely do not give her a passive aggressive hygiene basket 🙄

Two posters have suggested a woman should take the malodorous colleague aside!

My mum, in the 1950s, was told by her male boss to tell a female office junior that they had bad BO. My mum was really annoyed with has boss and thought it was his job but had to bite her tongue and do it. She still remembers the awkward conversation with the junior woman, even now all these decades later.

I thought that by 2024 that the idea that a woman she do this extremely tricky task would be long gone by 2024! I'm a bit shocked.

We house shared with someone with a BO problem. The way it got sorted was DP at the time (now DH) got drunk and told him. He showered frequently enough but never washed his clothes, hence the smell. He genuinely didn't seem to realise the necessity to do so. It got better after that really awkward conversation.

Reading with interest. I have a new-ish underboss who stinks. It's not every day and we also have hybrid but she smells like she's not really washing herself or her clothes often or properly. It's an open-plan office and I'm not too close to her seat but the room has a smell when she's been in for a day. It's not easy.

Christ, just when you think HR can’t be more of a chocolate teapot…

@SpiggingBelgium

It's a manager's JOB.

It's not HR's job.

As a woman why can't you take her aside and speak to her about it?

@Attelina

And it's not OPs or any other woman's job simply because of their sex.

Forget all the stuff about little words, anonymous notes, spraying stuff, HR blah, OP.

There may be wellbeing issues for the woman concerned, which are confidential and nobody else's business.

It's the MANAGER who must deal with it, advised by HR / DEI as necessary.

Your manager must do their job.

Reading this thread with interest, a colleague smells strongly of dog and it turns my stomach when I get a whiff. They are so lovely and I’d hate to make them paranoid but I try and leave a big gap between them and me needing to go and get a drink etc. they sit far away from me but sometimes they call me over to their desk for something and I start panicking about the smell.

Isoproply Alcohol IPA 99.9%, otherwise known as Rubbing Alcohol, kills all bacteria. Rubbing some into the armpits of the clothes on a clean cloth will solve the problem very quickly. (It also removes stains from fabrics that can't be washed e.g. velvet.)

Tell her! It’s not unreasonable to expect someone to wash.

Christ, just when you think HR can’t be more of a chocolate teapot…

Why would OP being a woman be relevant? This isn’t a support group - it’s work. This is an issue for managers to deal with.

A family member always had a strong BO smell despite daily showers and clean clothes.
Eczema had meant they used gentle sensitive products. Switching to using normal shower gel in their armpits solved the problem.

Definitely not an anonymous note.

I think the suggestion of doing it at the end of the day, being direct but as kind as possible is the best method. I don't think there is an easy way to do this.
Personally I would be mortified to be told or to have to deliver the news.

Tricky without an HR dept, but not impossible. Who, in the company, interviewed/recruited her? Didn't they notice, before offering her the job, that she has a hygiene issue? Whoever is the responsible manager needs to have a private meeting with her. They could gently ask if she has any health problems or housing issues that make it difficult for her to maintain good hygiene? If the company can help in any way with whatever is revealed by her response, they could try to do so, but regardless, they then need to explain that clean, hygienic personal presentation at work is expected from all employees and her employment could be at risk if she can't address this swiftly.

I had to deal with this as a manager and found it very tricky. I took HR advise to raise it with the lady who was very overweight and seemed unhappy. I was countersigning manager so her actual manager had the conversation which was tactful and honest and she wasn't too upset. But it turned out she had poorly managed diabetes and I understand this is a possible side effect - so it had the positive outcome that she took medical advice and controlled it better with some improvement.

“ staff used to take last minute holiday …” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

🤣🤣🤣” … and specifically a smell!”

As a woman why can't you take her aside and speak to her about it?

I work in HR and would refuse to have this conversation unless it was with my own staff member. We are there to advise management on how to have difficult conversations not have them for them.