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If you were absolutely flat broke in this situation, how would you make money?

559 replies

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 17:32

Some context - single mum of 3 teenagers. Qualfied as a nurse a year ago, so on the lowest increment for band 5 pay. i work all night plus extra bank shifts to maximise my income with enhancements. Moving up pay scales/banding is impossible at the minute. The extra shifts means my UC entitlement is 0 most months. I get CB for 2/3 of the children. Eldest has autism and whilst he works, he doesnt earn enough to be contributing anything substantial to the household. Ex gave up working and claims benefits, i get the standard £29 a month deduction from his benefits via CMS, he hasnt seen the children in over a decade so doesnt contribute anything further. I dont drive and theres no public transport running at a time that i can get to work, so i have to pay for taxis which are expensive but i have no other options. Its a 2 hour walk before/after 13 hours shifts and i usually do 4 or 5 in a week, im so exhausted i cant do this walk on top of my very busy active shift. We live in a rented house, which is a reasonable rent for the area, but still expensive. 1 child in school who can walk, 1 child in college who cant walk as its too far so i have to ay transport costs for them. I have some "unnecessary" outgoings, gaming subscriptions and streaming services, however my children are home alone 4 or 5 nights a week so they need something to keep them occupied as i dislike them going out and about whilst im at work, as i work in a very busy A&E department, im not easily contactable and like to know they are safe. I have some small debts im paying off from when i was a student and really struggled to get by.

Every month i run i out of money, its just impossible. I cant work more, i cant see where i can reduce out goings. I cant get a third job (my substantial and bank are two different contracts). I cant afford christmas, which i know isnt the be all and end all. But, when i was a student i promised my children a better future when i was stressed writing assignments doing placements and missing important events. But its not gotten better. Infact im worse off each month now than i was when studying. The recent NHS payrise left me worse off, as it bumped me into the next pension bracket, so the little i got backdated last pay, i now owe in pension arrears from April when the pay rise was back dated to. This amount is more than i received in back pay last month.

Life is just impossible. I cant give my children any standard of living, despite working my arse off to improve my career and do as many shifts a week as i am physically able to do.

What would you do? Genuinely? My only potential plan at the minute is the WFH pip assessor roles, its the same money im on now, but no travel costs. Keep my bank job to pick up an extra weeked shift each week. But its a job role i struggle with morally, and i would lose the patient contact element of my job for the most part. And A&E was my dream job, i love it, and the experience is vital for my future career aspirations.

OP posts:
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MyHouseIsABusStop · 16/11/2024 18:54

Op, I don't have any advice that you haven't considered. Just want to say, you and your children sound incredible. Hard working, diligent, disciplined. I'm sorry things are so tough for you right now, but I have no doubt, with your attitude, things will continue to improve and you will continue to make you and your children's lives more comfortable. You all seem to have a lovely relationship, seem very close, I'm sure your children recognise how hard you work and understand that you can't always have the most expensive of things. They will thank, respect and love you all the more for what a hard working Mum you are x All the best OP x

SapphireOpal · 16/11/2024 18:50

Autumn5000 · 16/11/2024 15:21

As someone who works In safeguarding children this would be a concern.
It would be reported to children's services. It's not all about physical needs being met but emotional.
There will be no boundaries. Do you think the 18 Yr old will tell the youngest when to go to bed or when to stop gaming etc. Emotionally aswell if they have had a touch day and want to speak to their parent who's there to support them.
I see it all the time. Yes you need to make money I get that but let's not be naive and think it does not effect children in a negative manner

The OP sees her kids every morning before school and every evening for dinner and is clearly an engaged and caring parent.

The younger two manage to regularly get up at 6am for a paper round. I think they're doing just fine regulating their own bedtime. And tbh I know no-one who was still micromanaging their kids bedtime in Year 11 and Year 12 anyway. If you're having to regularly mither an almost-16-year-old to stop gaming and go to bed then something's gone seriously wrong with your parenting tbh.

What, really, do you expect childrens' services to do about an almost 17yo and an almost 16yo being left with an adult sibling? I'd love to be a fly on the wall the day you reported that one...

BeccaS34 · 16/11/2024 18:35

Can you get a ride from anyone on the same schedule? Will work cover any of the cost? Would they transfer you to a more accessible location?

Failing that have you considered doing a go fund me or similar to help with the cost of transit? Would the cab co do a discount for you since you’re such a regular customer? If you put it to them that the expense is so high you might have to quit your job, maybe they’ll work with you rather than losing a good customer.

Kag13 · 16/11/2024 18:32

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 21:05

I have spoken with the lead for education and she knows that is my career goal. After my preceptorship, ive completed the RCN emergency nurse competency framework level 1 and im working on level 2 currently. Once i have these completed I can then seriously start looking at career progression, but the frameworks are quite extensive, im getting them done as quickly as i can. Ive also completed other training, that generally, is more spaced in your first few years, ive done my minors, trauma and triage. Im also on the student wellbeing team, and ive just been accepted to start assisting and completeing audits within the infection prevention team. Randomly, i am also the alcohol withdrawal (which is mostly checking CIWAs are correctly completed) link, but that was more to do with personal interest rather than career progression. Im hoping being proactive in these things is going to help me progress at a faster than average pace. But it also depends on vacancies i guess.

Edited

Hi OP, can I echo the previous posters advice about career progression as the way out of this. Salary at NHS Band 5 is low, but you you will feel this more as you are a mature student with a family to support, when most will be young people just out of university mot likely still sharing a student house.

My daughter and daughter in law are both in the NHS, one as a nurse, the other as a physio. They have both progressed, one to Band 6 and the other to Band 7. That is when the wage becomes reasonable. As you progress up the bands it also makes a difference.

So apart from some of the good advice you have been given on here which you are considering, just hang on in there, it will get better. The associated benefits of the public sector are worth having too.

I was also a mature student. It’s hard but it pays off in the end as your life experience will start to pay off.

Batteredcodmushypeasandafalafal · 16/11/2024 18:27

Can you get the housing element of Universal Credit?

Also how is so much of your pay taken fron you? Can you talk to work about that?

anon666 · 16/11/2024 18:07

I have rubbish mobility but I've got an electric bike off Ebay and it's amazing. It's effortless. I can do 15 miles to and from. Only suggesting just in case it helps, not trying to say it's essential.

stressedoutstudent · 16/11/2024 17:55

VoteDappy · 16/11/2024 09:55

Op has a licence but " doesn't drive"
A few lessons or going out with someone else and she could get a small car
The whole thread is all sorts of suggestions when the Op has the answer already!

Ps £600 of the Ops salary and possibly more is going on taxis and subscriptions, there is something else going on here .

Edited

Ps £600 of the Ops salary and possibly more is going on taxis and subscriptions, there is something else going on here.

Its half that combined. I really need to make this clear. Travel expenses is, on an average month, £255. 3 weeks of 4 shifts 1 week of 5 average. sometimes ill do more weeks of 5, sometimes i wont pick up an extra and just do my 3 (like this week, i needed a saturday night at home sat in pyjamas doing nothing at all and drinking baileys i got last christmas - but i have 2 other weeks doing 5 this month). But on average its £255 on travel to and from work.

The subscriptions, not including prime as i see that more for household shopping delivery costs than entertainment in £41.

Thats a total of £296 a month on travel costs and entertainment for kids to allow them to have something to do at home when im not around. Ten pounds per week on them.

I really feel the need to clarify i am not blowing £600 a month on things then coming here to complain about how hard my life is.

OP posts:
Weald56 · 16/11/2024 17:51

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 17:41

My journey home is all up hill, again after 13 hours and an average of 25k steps, i just wouldnt have the energy to cycle home 4/5 mornings a week, especially over winter. It would still take me an hour+ (ive not rode a bike in 30+ years)

Electric bike? (Yes, I know they aren't cheap but I know several people who yuse them and they say they are excellent for hilly areas).

Sorrynotsorry22 · 16/11/2024 17:43

Lots of reply so sorry if repeating but have you considered agency work? Very lucrative so I'm told.

Kneebonefuture · 16/11/2024 17:32

Autumn5000 · 16/11/2024 15:21

As someone who works In safeguarding children this would be a concern.
It would be reported to children's services. It's not all about physical needs being met but emotional.
There will be no boundaries. Do you think the 18 Yr old will tell the youngest when to go to bed or when to stop gaming etc. Emotionally aswell if they have had a touch day and want to speak to their parent who's there to support them.
I see it all the time. Yes you need to make money I get that but let's not be naive and think it does not effect children in a negative manner

You'd literally be laughed at. Worked as a social worker for 10 years and there's no issue whatsoever with the setup she has described.

Kneebonefuture · 16/11/2024 17:27

GlitterBallss · 16/11/2024 11:08

I agree with 90% of what you say and she's clearly very caring and doing her best , but it would surely be better to swap the night shifts or ditch them to be at home and not be paying £300 a month for subs to keep the children occupied when she's not there. It seems a bit back to front.

I wouldn't be happy to leave 3 children in their teens / one 18, overnight for 5 nights a week, and also be uncontactable.

Presumably, if she's not contactable, they have names and phone nos of neighbours or other adults to call if needed.

The issue is that the eldest child is autistic and depending on how severe, may not be able to judge what help is needed or how to get it . OP knows more about this than we do.

Nowhere has op said she's paying £300 for subs!

fedup33 · 16/11/2024 17:12

stressedoutstudent · 16/11/2024 13:46

I agree. But they have done it for years. My middle child 3 years, my youngest 2 years. They both put their names down very early and pick up extras through choice. They both have bikes, that are kept up with safety checks, have lights, high vis clothing, and helmets, they do them in the local area which is very safe. I have trackers for them both on my phone, it notifies me when they leave and when they return home. They enjoy them. They get home usually for 07.30, Have their breakfast and get changed. My daughter doesnt need to leave for school until 8.40 as we can see her school from home so i see her before she leaves. My son in college starts at 9.30 most days he is in, so leaves after i get home too. I dont think doing papers is a "normal" these days. But i did one for years as a teenager and left even earlier than 6, but back in the 90's it was more normalised.

Good that they are early risers! I remember my son doing it briefly and it was heartbreaking how tired he was.

They sounds like remarkable children/ young people.

stressedoutstudent · 16/11/2024 16:59

MatildaTheCat · 16/11/2024 16:54

Ok fair enough. I worked as a nurse and the motorbike injuries I saw put me off for life. I also don’t know a single person who has had a motorcycle that hasn’t had an accident of some sort so I’m naturally a bit adverse.

Good luck.

The bad ones i have seen have been high speed out in the coutryside then air ambulanced to us. A few local 30mph local roads isnt really a cause for me to be concerned. Ive seen the odd person fall off one and have minor injuries, but ive also seen people step off a kerb and break their hip or slip on wet grass and end up in with an open fracture, trip over their dog and have a dislocation etc etc. If i went off what i saw in work i wouldnt do anything, ever, people have the most freakish accidents.

OP posts:
Miley1967 · 16/11/2024 16:57

In a few years time al your kids will be adults and probably working unless going to Uni. If working then the rent and bills can be split four ways and you'll be much better off. Just hang in there as others have said.

L00nnggHaulSleep · 16/11/2024 16:55

Speak to these people they may have some suggestions

https://nhscreditunion.com/

NHS Credit Union – People Not Profit

https://nhscreditunion.com

stressedoutstudent · 16/11/2024 16:54

L00nnggHaulSleep · 16/11/2024 16:52

If your sister lives near you.

Does she have a car ?

Can you borrow her car when she is not using it or get her to give you lifts to & from work & pay her instead of taxi ?

No, she also works full time and has 3 children under 6 so i cant ask her to do that.

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 16/11/2024 16:54

stressedoutstudent · 16/11/2024 16:49

Why? I see more patients with injuries from push bikes than i do RTC's. In fact i see more people come in with injuries from riding a horse than i do RTC's. And we are a major trauma centre with air ambulance support.

Ok fair enough. I worked as a nurse and the motorbike injuries I saw put me off for life. I also don’t know a single person who has had a motorcycle that hasn’t had an accident of some sort so I’m naturally a bit adverse.

Good luck.

L00nnggHaulSleep · 16/11/2024 16:52

If your sister lives near you.

Does she have a car ?

Can you borrow her car when she is not using it or get her to give you lifts to & from work & pay her instead of taxi ?

stressedoutstudent · 16/11/2024 16:49

MatildaTheCat · 16/11/2024 16:39

I believe someone calculated that you are spending around £300 on taxis for work per month. That may be where the confusion has arisen.

Im surprised an A&E nurse would consider a moped. As I mentioned above have you asked family for any help? Would anyone be able to lend you the money for a cheap reliable car? The running costs and repayment would be less than £300 a month and you’d get the benefit of a car for the family.

Why? I see more patients with injuries from push bikes than i do RTC's. In fact i see more people come in with injuries from riding a horse than i do RTC's. And we are a major trauma centre with air ambulance support.

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 16/11/2024 16:39

I believe someone calculated that you are spending around £300 on taxis for work per month. That may be where the confusion has arisen.

Im surprised an A&E nurse would consider a moped. As I mentioned above have you asked family for any help? Would anyone be able to lend you the money for a cheap reliable car? The running costs and repayment would be less than £300 a month and you’d get the benefit of a car for the family.

stressedoutstudent · 16/11/2024 16:24

VoteDappy · 16/11/2024 16:16

Agree-£300 was mentioned up thread??

Netflix is £14, Now tv is £10, £17 psn and xbox, Prime is £9 but i dont really include that as for the kids since i would have that regardless for prime household subscriptions on amazon as its massively helpful that i dont have to remember to buy basics they just turn up once a month - probably a "luxuary" i should knock on the head, but i set those up when i was a student and the mental load of placements, assignments, and working to supplement my income. running a household, and the kids just hitting puberty, and ferrying them to and from my parents as they stayed with them often then, it was necessary. Though they still help with the mental load now. But its £50 a month maximum on subscriptions minus a few pence.

I have no idea where the fabricated £300 came from.

OP posts:
VoteDappy · 16/11/2024 16:16

stressedoutstudent · 16/11/2024 13:28

The subscriptions are ludicrus. I have netflix - my daughter is stranger thing obsessed and rewatches it regularly. Prime you get with, well prime, which i use for subscriptions of household item such as loo roll and washing tablets as its cheaper and takes some of the mental load off me having to remember to buy them. Now TV i only have the basic package. We dont even have a tv aerial so subscriptions and streaming services are somewhat essential. Then i have the psn (£7 a month) and gamer pass (£10 a month) for my children to access games, chat to their friends, and its something they enjoy doing together. £17 a month is not ludicrus.

Agree-£300 was mentioned up thread??

GabriellaMontez · 16/11/2024 16:08

Autumn5000 · 16/11/2024 15:21

As someone who works In safeguarding children this would be a concern.
It would be reported to children's services. It's not all about physical needs being met but emotional.
There will be no boundaries. Do you think the 18 Yr old will tell the youngest when to go to bed or when to stop gaming etc. Emotionally aswell if they have had a touch day and want to speak to their parent who's there to support them.
I see it all the time. Yes you need to make money I get that but let's not be naive and think it does not effect children in a negative manner

What is your role 'in safeguarding'?

What do you anticipate would happen if a referral were made to children's services about two teens being left with an adult (with autism)?

L00nnggHaulSleep · 16/11/2024 15:57

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/

DurinsBane · 16/11/2024 15:44

stressedoutstudent · 16/11/2024 13:54

Ive been looking at mopeds. I have seen some that are around £1500-1700 new. Insurance is around £35 a month. Im not sure on tax and fuel, but im guessing thats still alot less than the taxis. There are routes i can take to work that avoid the "fast" A roads but still roads that would be gritted in winter. I have a gated area at my home i can lock the gate on. And the area motorbikes and mopeds get parked in at work have CCTV. I feel my parents would loan me the £1500, i may have to put a littlle bit towards it, which would be doable if i got it pay day as i wouldnt have the coming months taxis to fund. Helmet would need to be new of course, but i will look for second hand protective clothing.

After some research its definitely the most feesible option, that allows me to keep my job.

Don’t forget you would need to do your Compulsory Basic Training to ride a moped. It is about 150 pounds, a few hours sworn with an instructor in a group serting