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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you were absolutely flat broke in this situation, how would you make money?

559 replies

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 17:32

Some context - single mum of 3 teenagers. Qualfied as a nurse a year ago, so on the lowest increment for band 5 pay. i work all night plus extra bank shifts to maximise my income with enhancements. Moving up pay scales/banding is impossible at the minute. The extra shifts means my UC entitlement is 0 most months. I get CB for 2/3 of the children. Eldest has autism and whilst he works, he doesnt earn enough to be contributing anything substantial to the household. Ex gave up working and claims benefits, i get the standard £29 a month deduction from his benefits via CMS, he hasnt seen the children in over a decade so doesnt contribute anything further. I dont drive and theres no public transport running at a time that i can get to work, so i have to pay for taxis which are expensive but i have no other options. Its a 2 hour walk before/after 13 hours shifts and i usually do 4 or 5 in a week, im so exhausted i cant do this walk on top of my very busy active shift. We live in a rented house, which is a reasonable rent for the area, but still expensive. 1 child in school who can walk, 1 child in college who cant walk as its too far so i have to ay transport costs for them. I have some "unnecessary" outgoings, gaming subscriptions and streaming services, however my children are home alone 4 or 5 nights a week so they need something to keep them occupied as i dislike them going out and about whilst im at work, as i work in a very busy A&E department, im not easily contactable and like to know they are safe. I have some small debts im paying off from when i was a student and really struggled to get by.

Every month i run i out of money, its just impossible. I cant work more, i cant see where i can reduce out goings. I cant get a third job (my substantial and bank are two different contracts). I cant afford christmas, which i know isnt the be all and end all. But, when i was a student i promised my children a better future when i was stressed writing assignments doing placements and missing important events. But its not gotten better. Infact im worse off each month now than i was when studying. The recent NHS payrise left me worse off, as it bumped me into the next pension bracket, so the little i got backdated last pay, i now owe in pension arrears from April when the pay rise was back dated to. This amount is more than i received in back pay last month.

Life is just impossible. I cant give my children any standard of living, despite working my arse off to improve my career and do as many shifts a week as i am physically able to do.

What would you do? Genuinely? My only potential plan at the minute is the WFH pip assessor roles, its the same money im on now, but no travel costs. Keep my bank job to pick up an extra weeked shift each week. But its a job role i struggle with morally, and i would lose the patient contact element of my job for the most part. And A&E was my dream job, i love it, and the experience is vital for my future career aspirations.

OP posts:
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mossylog · 15/11/2024 18:16

My back of the envelope calculation puts those taxis at least £100 a week (assuming about six mile drive twice a day, five days a week), so of true them pretty much any alternative arrangement would pay itself back very quickly.

If you've got a job for life as a nurse, would it be worth moving closer to the hospital?

MessyNeate · 15/11/2024 18:16

Opt out of pension for a year or so, I did this and it helped massively

Tel12 · 15/11/2024 18:14

Eldest child must contribute more. Can you pick me up odd shifts in care homes that require nursing staff? You'd possibly get a better rate.

Singleandproud · 15/11/2024 18:13

In terms of pension can you drop down so you put 50% in instead, my work do this and it's popular with people paying high childcare costs etc

Kneebonefuture · 15/11/2024 18:13

Its not going to be sorted before xmas, however I vote botox and lip fillers. The girl I used to go to was also a paramedic and most people chose her over someone else locally.

Dishwashersaurous · 15/11/2024 18:13

This is the worst possible point. You've done amazing to qualify, but you are just in the new job.

As you move up the bands, you will earn more. As the teenagers become adults they will get jobs and pay their own way.

Kneebonefuture · 15/11/2024 18:12

BackinBlack24 · 15/11/2024 17:47

Etsy is great you can create digital downloads using canva it will take time to take off I do nothing with mine just listed 30 - 40 items that's I know will sell , did my research on what's popular I doesn't make much as I don't put any work into right now maybe £100 a month but for something I literally don't have to do anything with after I set it all up I'm ok with it . There's also the option to do drop shipping using printful or similar which would earn more money but you would have to put more time into it as customers would be contacting you or if a parcel goes missing etc . But worth looking into its very easy

Hi. Not wanting to steal ideas but would you be willing to tell me more about the etsy downloads please? Sounds interesting

Frowningprovidence · 15/11/2024 18:12

It sounds exhausting and I can not imagine cycling for an hour after a 13 hour A&E shift.

I am also of the opinion that you should reduce nursing hours (enough to keep job open and professional reward/prosoecfs) and see if there is a higher paid job you could do at home or closer for the other hours.

Octavia64 · 15/11/2024 18:12

I would -

Look into lift shares. Cheaper than taxis. Your hospital may have a noticeboard or similar?

I worked in a school and we'd sometimes get all staff emails asking about lift shares.

The college aged kid can be encouraged to get a Saturday job. Tell him it's good working experience. Then he can pay for his own busses and gaming.

With one in work and one at part time job age I do think you could at least suggest splitting the subscriptions three ways.

HaveToSaySomethingHere · 15/11/2024 18:12

Rent your bedroom on Airbnb? One or two nights at a time with breaks in between? Rent your driveway? Relief career?

BuzzieLittleBee · 15/11/2024 18:11

notanothernamechange24 · 15/11/2024 18:09

Where precisely is the OP supposed to find £800 for an electric bike from?? 🤷🏻‍♀️🙄

Some really stupid suggestions on here

And why should she have to cancel the subscriptions which are keeping her kids occupied and safely at home so she can work?

What would be far better is charging their useless father for abandoning his responsibilities to his kids.

I would look into lift shares with someone if you can OP. Even if it's just for the odd shift it would save a little each time.
Have you checked that everything you are paying out for is the best deal you can get? Look at changing your energy supplier etc. I'd also contact the school and see if there is any help available transport wise for your teen. Or look into getting them a cheap bike if that's an option?

On the cycle to work scheme. Money comes from your salary at source, so pre-tax. The monthly payment would probably be less than taxis.

Shessweetbutapsycho · 15/11/2024 18:10

Just wanted to say thank you for the amazing work you do ❤️

yumyum33 · 15/11/2024 18:10

Your post really touched me and I just want to say well done on doing what you are doing to keep you and the family afloat. If I were you I'd think seriously about the PIP wfh job. No travel and a chance to regain a bit of equilibrium without all the rushing about. A friend of mine did it, she was Band 6, and just as with you she felt ethically conflicted. She lasted two years and then went to become a Marie Curie nurse. You never know what other opportunities might arise whilst you do the PIP assessments. My friend also said she used to see patients arriving from her office window; they would appear to be walking fine when getting out of the car and walking to the building entrance. Once inside her office they would begin limping or holding the body part that they were claiming was why they couldn't work.

AgathaMystery · 15/11/2024 18:10

OP I really feel for you.

right now you are in the trenches.

Cancel the streaming subscriptions and just keep one. It will be okay. Opt out of your pension scheme for 12mth only. Access the food bank and also the benevolent fund - it’s what they are there for. They really are so helpful. If you can - access the fund to pay for intensive driving lessons. I know it’s hard (I was in my forties when I finally did it) but it will save money long term. I know you can’t afford a car either.

do the sums and if you are better off working less and claiming UC - Do it. It’s not forever. Also see what you can claim for the eldest. Please.

re other posters:

-Aesthetic courses cost a fortune and so do prescriber courses. You now need to be sponsored by a hospital too to make sure you’re not just doing the course to do aesthetics. The market is quite flooded and repeat custom swings by only every 9-12-18 mth
-Nurses do bank, not locum and we don’t get paid like locums do. Nowhere near. It’s just a quid or 2 Mose than our substantive
-cycling like that after a night shift. Jesus it would be almost impossible. Truly.
-you can’t just walk into a civil service WFH job.

notanothernamechange24 · 15/11/2024 18:09

Where precisely is the OP supposed to find £800 for an electric bike from?? 🤷🏻‍♀️🙄

Some really stupid suggestions on here

And why should she have to cancel the subscriptions which are keeping her kids occupied and safely at home so she can work?

What would be far better is charging their useless father for abandoning his responsibilities to his kids.

I would look into lift shares with someone if you can OP. Even if it's just for the odd shift it would save a little each time.
Have you checked that everything you are paying out for is the best deal you can get? Look at changing your energy supplier etc. I'd also contact the school and see if there is any help available transport wise for your teen. Or look into getting them a cheap bike if that's an option?

MessyNeate · 15/11/2024 18:09

Overthebow · 15/11/2024 18:07

How much do you earn in total op and what are your outgoings I’d have thought your salary wouldn’t be that bad given you’re a full time nurse and picking up extra night shifts?

Can your DC in college get a weekend or evening job? And your older DS, if he can’t work more than part time because of autism then he should be claiming benefits or PIP, otherwise see what full time job he would be suited to. Your Dc should be earning money and paying for the gaming and streaming subscriptions really as you’re struggling.

I'm top of band five and work nights to bump up my pay and take home roughly 1800-1900 a month, when I was a single mum it was a bloody hard struggle. I always ran out of money a week or two before payday

Overthebow · 15/11/2024 18:07

How much do you earn in total op and what are your outgoings I’d have thought your salary wouldn’t be that bad given you’re a full time nurse and picking up extra night shifts?

Can your DC in college get a weekend or evening job? And your older DS, if he can’t work more than part time because of autism then he should be claiming benefits or PIP, otherwise see what full time job he would be suited to. Your Dc should be earning money and paying for the gaming and streaming subscriptions really as you’re struggling.

Redwinedaze · 15/11/2024 18:07

Custody nurse? You’d finish on time, usually 4 on and 4 off and could still do bank for NHS if needed.

chickennoodless · 15/11/2024 18:07

I can’t believe we all live in a country who does this to their nurses, no ideas for you sorry. Just wanted to say you deserve better.

RobertaFirmino · 15/11/2024 18:07

Rumforme · 15/11/2024 17:55

Can you qualify in administering eg Botox and do that on the side? Or would you get paid more for a nursing job in the private sector instead of NHS?

Botox etc. is a great idea. A nurse is far more trustworthy than 'Chelseigh's Beauty Room's' down the precinct. Tattoo removal is likely to explode too and again, a nurse comes across as the best option.

Whatever you decide, I hope things improve and soon.

SparkyBlue · 15/11/2024 18:06

A cousin of mine is a nurse and works extra hours in clinic doing fillers and Botox

MessyNeate · 15/11/2024 18:05

blitzen · 15/11/2024 17:56

OP, that sounds really hard. When will you be eligible to apply for the next band up at work?

It's automatic the pay increase. First one is after 2 years then yearly until you reach the top of band five

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 18:05

DoreenonTill8 · 15/11/2024 17:50

How old is college teen? What are they studying ? Any way they can get a parttime job?
Oldest who is working, is he on any benefits ?

both my younger teens have paper rounds and pick up extra rounds when they need to which earns them enough for cinema visits and fortnite skins etc.

Moving isnt really possible as the upfront costs, and my rent is decent for the area, we live in which is close to my youngests school. We already dont have enough bedrooms, one child has the dining room as a bedroom as they didnt want to share a bedroom. It works and everyone has their own space.

The college aged child does cycle some days, but when the weather is bad he gets the bus.

My eldest isnt entitled to anything, he earns enough to contribute a small amount, and pays for his own expenses, travel, work lunches, phone bill etc.

Reducing my hours to my contracted hours only wouldnt solve it, as UC only deducts 55%, the amount saved in taxis by doing fewer shifts and UC cobined, is less that the income from teh extra shifts once ive paid for the taxis if that makes sense? Im better off doing the extras and not getting any UC than i am doing fewer shifts with UC top up. Im struggling to explain why though

OP posts:
MessyNeate · 15/11/2024 18:04

Can you join a nursing agency? The money is far far better (I get paid about £30 an hour on my agency) I'm limited because I'm specialised in nicu though)

Can you drive but just don't have a car?

NearlyChristmas2024 · 15/11/2024 18:03

I mean this as gently as possible but maybe now isn’t the right time in your life to be a full time nurse. If I were you, I would keep the bank contract and do around 4-5 shifts a month to keep up your clinical skills. I would then get a WFH job in somewhere like the Civil Service so no travel costs. Once the kids are older, you could go back to full time nursing, hopefully at a higher band.

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