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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you were absolutely flat broke in this situation, how would you make money?

559 replies

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 17:32

Some context - single mum of 3 teenagers. Qualfied as a nurse a year ago, so on the lowest increment for band 5 pay. i work all night plus extra bank shifts to maximise my income with enhancements. Moving up pay scales/banding is impossible at the minute. The extra shifts means my UC entitlement is 0 most months. I get CB for 2/3 of the children. Eldest has autism and whilst he works, he doesnt earn enough to be contributing anything substantial to the household. Ex gave up working and claims benefits, i get the standard £29 a month deduction from his benefits via CMS, he hasnt seen the children in over a decade so doesnt contribute anything further. I dont drive and theres no public transport running at a time that i can get to work, so i have to pay for taxis which are expensive but i have no other options. Its a 2 hour walk before/after 13 hours shifts and i usually do 4 or 5 in a week, im so exhausted i cant do this walk on top of my very busy active shift. We live in a rented house, which is a reasonable rent for the area, but still expensive. 1 child in school who can walk, 1 child in college who cant walk as its too far so i have to ay transport costs for them. I have some "unnecessary" outgoings, gaming subscriptions and streaming services, however my children are home alone 4 or 5 nights a week so they need something to keep them occupied as i dislike them going out and about whilst im at work, as i work in a very busy A&E department, im not easily contactable and like to know they are safe. I have some small debts im paying off from when i was a student and really struggled to get by.

Every month i run i out of money, its just impossible. I cant work more, i cant see where i can reduce out goings. I cant get a third job (my substantial and bank are two different contracts). I cant afford christmas, which i know isnt the be all and end all. But, when i was a student i promised my children a better future when i was stressed writing assignments doing placements and missing important events. But its not gotten better. Infact im worse off each month now than i was when studying. The recent NHS payrise left me worse off, as it bumped me into the next pension bracket, so the little i got backdated last pay, i now owe in pension arrears from April when the pay rise was back dated to. This amount is more than i received in back pay last month.

Life is just impossible. I cant give my children any standard of living, despite working my arse off to improve my career and do as many shifts a week as i am physically able to do.

What would you do? Genuinely? My only potential plan at the minute is the WFH pip assessor roles, its the same money im on now, but no travel costs. Keep my bank job to pick up an extra weeked shift each week. But its a job role i struggle with morally, and i would lose the patient contact element of my job for the most part. And A&E was my dream job, i love it, and the experience is vital for my future career aspirations.

OP posts:
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MessyNeate · 15/11/2024 18:32

@stressedoutstudent

Look into the salary sacrifice scheme for a small car. Might be worth doing the figure sums and seeing if it will be cheaper. Most of them are automatic and easy to drive and include everything in your one payment so no need to insurance or repairs or tyres etc, I've just had my 3rd one delivered today. Wouldn't be without it now

snowlady4 · 15/11/2024 18:31

Just to add, you could even get another job that pays very similar hourly rate as nursing (closer to home, better hours etc) and then just do 1 or 2 bank/agency shifts to top up.

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 18:31

Also thank you for all the suggestions, im slowly working through each one to see whats feesable.

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Arran2024 · 15/11/2024 18:30

Sorry I haven't read the comments so ignore if this is unrealistic - could you get the kids to share so you have a spare room and take on a young person from the Shared lives scheme? It is usually a 3 month placement so you don't have someone long term. You get paid but you don't have to do a huge amount.

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 18:30

snowlady4 · 15/11/2024 18:27

Would you consider agency nursing instead of the NHS? Your hourly wage increase will be significant and you won't be beholden to the dreaded off duty.
As others have said, consider trying to cycle if you can.
Horrible situation for you. Remember it's not forever, things will improve.
I use jam doughnut for cashback on shopping- it has loads of places on it you probably use- teaco, asda, B&M.. it will only be a few pound extra but it all adds up. Worth checking out. My referral code is 55LV if you're interested (you get £3 extra if you use a code.)
Good luck.

Im very lucky my A&E department does majority self rostering, so i get to pick my shifts and ensure i get parents eve and the likes off work.

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TiramisuThief · 15/11/2024 18:30

I have no suggestions but I agree with PP that it is disgraceful that someone who has worked really hard to get themselves a profession is having to struggle like this financially.

I do think you're in the worst bit now - 3 kids in the house who no doubt eat like locusts and aren't old enough to get proper jobs. Plus you're really early career so the money isn't quite there yet.

You're doing everything you can, I hope it comes good for you next year. Hang on.

snowlady4 · 15/11/2024 18:27

Would you consider agency nursing instead of the NHS? Your hourly wage increase will be significant and you won't be beholden to the dreaded off duty.
As others have said, consider trying to cycle if you can.
Horrible situation for you. Remember it's not forever, things will improve.
I use jam doughnut for cashback on shopping- it has loads of places on it you probably use- teaco, asda, B&M.. it will only be a few pound extra but it all adds up. Worth checking out. My referral code is 55LV if you're interested (you get £3 extra if you use a code.)
Good luck.

CaptainBenson · 15/11/2024 18:26

On moneysavingexpert forum there's a section where you can input all your income and outgoings and they will troubleshoot with you to find solutions.

For example your debt: maybe it could be put on a payment plan? Where you pay a minimal amount as you are in financial difficulty. It would be worth looking into.

I can't believe I'm having to suggest this to someone who works full time as a nurse but access local food banks if you are struggling. What a ridiculous system we are living in where people are working so hard just to survive. 😔

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 18:26

TheBunyip · 15/11/2024 18:19

Ain't this the truth. i'm so sorry OP that you are doing everything we're told is right yet you're still in this position

cancelling the subscriptions will probably save about £20 a month. her children deserve to have access to the same tv shows and games as their friends. saving a few quid on this isn't going to solve the problem.

could you ride a moped - i know you have the initial costs and then insurance etc, i've no idea of the costs involved but better than a bike and cheaper than a car / taxi?

This i also something i have thought about, and asking my parents to loan me the money to buy one. I have a driving licence (though ive not had a car in a decade becuase i havent been able to justify the cost) and think a scooter/moped would be cheaper to run and insure than the taxis.

Taxis cost me £15 a shift. I occasionally get lifts of a nurse who lives locally, but she does majority day shifts.

Theres no closer hospital, and no private hospital in my area either.

Jobs are also few and far between, theres currently 5 nursing jobs available on NHS jobs in my trust. Alot who just qualified cant get employent due to the over seas recruitment drives. Changing with in the NHS to keep the pension/benefits is unlikely gioven the current job market for nurses. Side point - this doesnt mean wards and areas are fully staffed, it means theres no budget to hire more staff as the pots are empty.

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Cakeandusername · 15/11/2024 18:26

If your oldest are 16 plus then try McDonalds. Lots of teens with autism work at branch my dc does. Pays well and they get a free meal on shift plus an app with heavily discounted food and free food. The teenage lads make full use of it.

Probablyshouldntsay · 15/11/2024 18:24

Moped might be your best bet OP. Have you done a really forensic budget on exactly where you’ve spent money this month?
for the first time in my life I’m having to do this (same salary as you) and it is very disheartening

Sycamoretree4 · 15/11/2024 18:23

You can opt out of the NHS pension.

Can you go part time and maximise UC?

Not sure I would jump into PIP assessor now with the way the labour Government are culling things. I think PIP will be soon changed a lot as it is unsustainable given the increase in PIP claims post pandemic.

Frowningprovidence · 15/11/2024 18:23

Destiny123 · 15/11/2024 18:19

Its actually great, i do it all the time as a dr... calms Yr brain helps u mentally detach from the stress of work and I use it as free exercise

Hats off to you.

I'd struggle with the energy to be a single mum if 3, one with autusm and a full time nursing job anyway!

Cakeandusername · 15/11/2024 18:22

Is eldest definitely not entitled to pip? If he’s autistic and limited working capacity he may qualify.
Any assistance at college with travel costs? Dc’s school had bursaries for low income students.
How old are your eldest two.

Lilactimes · 15/11/2024 18:22

Thank you for all you do as a nurse - you sound an amazing mum too.
i think it would be so sad if you had to give up a job you love and one that’s so important to society.
I hope you find a solution - pension holiday or reduction just whilst you get on your feet could be useful??
Im sure you are a huge inspiration to your DCs too.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 15/11/2024 18:22

Is your employment permanent F/T? if so I’d be looking to move closer to your work even if it’s in the middle, that way you could walk/bike to work as could the teens.

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 18:21

Kneebonefuture · 15/11/2024 18:13

Its not going to be sorted before xmas, however I vote botox and lip fillers. The girl I used to go to was also a paramedic and most people chose her over someone else locally.

Edited

The training is £1000+, and i reckon around 70% of the (younger child free) nurses i qualified with are doing this, i get an invite to an aesthetics by X facebook or instagram page from some at uni almost weekly. Same for eyelashes and brows.

OP posts:
TheBunyip · 15/11/2024 18:19

chickennoodless · 15/11/2024 18:07

I can’t believe we all live in a country who does this to their nurses, no ideas for you sorry. Just wanted to say you deserve better.

Ain't this the truth. i'm so sorry OP that you are doing everything we're told is right yet you're still in this position

cancelling the subscriptions will probably save about £20 a month. her children deserve to have access to the same tv shows and games as their friends. saving a few quid on this isn't going to solve the problem.

could you ride a moped - i know you have the initial costs and then insurance etc, i've no idea of the costs involved but better than a bike and cheaper than a car / taxi?

Destiny123 · 15/11/2024 18:19

Frowningprovidence · 15/11/2024 18:12

It sounds exhausting and I can not imagine cycling for an hour after a 13 hour A&E shift.

I am also of the opinion that you should reduce nursing hours (enough to keep job open and professional reward/prosoecfs) and see if there is a higher paid job you could do at home or closer for the other hours.

Its actually great, i do it all the time as a dr... calms Yr brain helps u mentally detach from the stress of work and I use it as free exercise

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 18:19

ginasevern · 15/11/2024 18:18

Only Fans?

HA! no one wants to see my mid 40s slightly overweight saggy body

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babyproblems · 15/11/2024 18:18

Honestly I think I’d look for another job. I’m sure you love it but honestly it’s too much a commute, ridiculous hours and crap pay. I agree with you that WFH and even just regular hours would be so so much easier than what you’re currently doing. And if you can work regular hours you could maybe consider some other part time work if necessary once you’ve got your mojo back. Wishing you lots of luck. Don’t martyr yourself working like a dog for crap pay and conditions. I’m sure you are doing it for the right reasons but you’ve got to put yourself first! X

ginasevern · 15/11/2024 18:18

Only Fans?

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 18:17

Singleandproud · 15/11/2024 18:13

In terms of pension can you drop down so you put 50% in instead, my work do this and it's popular with people paying high childcare costs etc

NHS pension isnt contribution based, its a scheme you pay into to be a member of, the % you pay to be a member isnt negotiable. And since i qualified later in life, opting out isnt sensible, i need to pay into it to have any quality of life once i reach retirement age, given i own no property and dont have any savings.

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Destiny123 · 15/11/2024 18:16

Def get a bike or move closer. Buy a crap ideally slightly rusty one on Facebook for sub 50quid as I'm a Dr and had sooo many bikes nicked from hospitals

I love finances happy to g through if u want for advice. Chase bank pays 1% on all spends. Top cashback for any purchases esp insurance ad gas/electric

Shinyandnew1 · 15/11/2024 18:16

Your hands are tied by the distance you live from work and the fact you can’t drive.

How much are you taking home a month and how much are you spending a month on taxis? That’s your problem.

If you can’t move house, can you move job/hospital?

I would ask at work about lift shares.

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