If you were absolutely flat broke in this situation, how would you make money?

On the driving instructor suggestions, OP has already said she has a licence....

Yes this, or an e bike/e scooter. Any one you can car share with? Stop the gaming subscriptions, buy second hand games then trade back. Depending on the age of your kids they could get part time jobs to buy better games.

Probably, but don't always have time to RTWT, and if not..... Especially the bit about driving instructors picking you up from work, I'd never thought of it before.

Don't you think after 22 pages of posts these things might have been suggested?

I'd try and reduce costs in food shopping. More pasta dishes with simple but nutritional sauces are a good cost cutting plan. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with supermarket own brands for most things. I happily look for the cheaper alternative. And selling things on online sites like vinted is a good idea as previously suggested. My son and DIL do that to get extra money to buy things for their house. Kids outgrown clothes ... coat not worn for long time... handbag never used... I wish you well, and well done for your achievements. You're a great mother and provider for your kids.

Apologies, I haven't read the whole thread, but if you can find any way of lift sharing, electric bike, motor scooter etc, do it, and any money you can save on taxi's, try to get some driving lessons. It will of course increase your outgoings short term, lessons aren't cheap, but being able to drive will open up a whole new load of job opportunities, will save you money on transport, and just give all of you so much more freedom.
When my daughter was learning, her instructor would pick her up from school / work, and she'd end her lesson at home, so it would slightly offset your taxi costs if you could find an instructor willing to do that.

OP worth checking if you or your children have anything you could sell on Vinted , people buy all sorts of things that you might have at the back of your cupboard, children have under their beds, its really surprising what sells.

Oh forgot to mention. Could also consider getting a scooter license. You can get a provisional motorbike license for a few hundred and scooters are generally cheaper to run than a car!
May also be a christmas present option for any 17 year olds?

Hey Op, I really feel for you. I'm a health worker too and have been in a similar situation.
With hospitals out of reach for public transport for the shift times. I did eventually get a bike, and know the exhaustion of cycling at the end of a 13 hour shift. But for me the uphill route was the way there. So it was (mostly) easy going downhill at the end of the day. Plus I didn't have kids to get home to.
But it was so rough. I was ONLY able to get through it psychologically because I knew it was temporary. And because without kids I could sleep a lot when my legs weren't yet used to the uphill push. And I didn't have to get home for anyone so could walk the bits my legs weren't yet strong enough to cycle-until they were.
I know that's not the case for you. Pay from promotions will only be incremental until you get to band 7 and won't feel survivable until then. And we know there are only so many band 7 posts! Not everyone can do it!
I would suggest that unless you can't drive for medical reasons, try to prioritise learning to drive. Many instructors will agree to start your lesson at home/work. So you wouldn't end up paying the taxi cost for that shift. It will cost more at first, but once you have your license most nhs trusts have lease car schemes that are about 150-200 per month from your paycheck. Which will be cheaper than paying for taxis 10 or 12 times per week.
I know many driving instructors have waiting lists so ask colleagues. Nurses and doctors will have been learning to drive-especially foundation doctors, and they may be able to refer you to someone who understands hospital working hours.
Also, you probably do this already, but check your kids are sharing their subscriptions and its only 1 per household rather than 1 each
Also go to HR at your workplace and talk to them about the costs of getting to work and see if they have any car ride schemes set up. Your nurse manager is less likely to know than HR about the available options. They may, (especially if told you may have to leave your job, and if the department is generally short staffed OR if medically you cant learn to drive) adjust your start and finish times so public transport becomes an option.speak to them about flexible working for parents.
I'd also suggest writing to your local mp about the difficulties of getting to work on time due to a lack of public transport for your start time. Many people in power are totally unaware of these types of barriers people face in getting to work.
You can find your Mp here. They may or may not care but they should at least write back. And at best they may be able to push for a local scheme for hospital workers to get to shift on time to open up.
https://www.parliament.uk/get-involved/contact-an-mp-or-lord/contact-your-mp/
.
And what do you do about lunches and dinners? Hospital food is generally crap and/or expensive. A&e rarely has food for patients never mind staff. If you and your kids get convenience food a lot (school, college or work) then it may be cheaper to work one less shift at work a week (after tax and pension has been taken out) to prepare all your food for the week. You might even be able to do this with your kids and teach them that life skill as well as getting to spend more time with them.
For Christmas, use Martin Lewis tips to try to get a cheaper Christmas and deals on it.
Plus make sure you're claiming your tax back from hmrc. Most trusts mess up your pay slips. Nhs trusts are notorious for it. This website provides some pretty good money tips. Mostly for doctors but also for nurses.
https://www.medicsmoney.co.uk/nurses/

And I'm sorry there is nothing in this list that doesn't involve you having to DO things when you're likely so stressed, stretched and tired out of your mind.
You're doing your best in a bad cost of living situation. Thank you for being passionate about your job, and caring about those kids. You're struggling, but doing 2 vital roles at the same time. Thank you.

Could you get a job as a career start practice nurse at a more local GP surgery that you could walk to. Alternatively there are remote clinical advisors for 111 where you could work from home (you may have to travel for training however inky a few weeks). Good luck.

A minor side note, as it would have such a minimal impact, but we are on the £4.99 basic netflix plan. We figured we would try it for a bit and upgrade if ads got too bad. There are honestly hardly any ads, I was seriously expecting it to be so much worse!
Sounds like you're doing a wonderful job for your children, good luck. Hopefully the moped plan will work out for you, so that things can improve more long term for you all. It also seems like your children would be very understanding about not having much at Christmas?

I’ve been thinking about you and your predicament for a couple of days. First of all you should be so proud of what you’ve achieved. Raising three children who sound resilient, responsible and grounded. Plus you’ve gone back into training and qualified as a nurse. You sound like you’ve had virtually no support. You are doing such a vital job. So👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 to you.
The next thing to remember is that this won’t last forever. Your circumstances will improve. The kids will get older and more independent and you will progress in your career. I think you will do this quite quickly.
The question that hadn’t been answered is how much more money do you need a month? Have you worked out a budget? If not that should be step one.
You might be able to find this fairly easily.I’d tackle this as if it were an challenge. Start with the following in this order. Most importantly remember there is no shame to the situation you find yourself in. The shame is all your former partner’s.

1. Contact the children’s father and explain that they are suffering through his behaviour. Appeal to his better nature if he has one. Give him the opportunity to pay for his kids. If this is not possible then
2. Contact the paternal grandparents and explain their DGC are suffering because their father has abnegated his responsibilities to them. If they were my DCG I’d want to know. Show them what he owes in arrears. Ask if they can make up all or some of this money. If this is not possible then
3. Contact CSA again and see if there have been any changes that would allow them to pursue the DC’s father for more support.
4. Sit down with an expert on the benefit system and check you are getting everything you are entitled to. The NHS may have somewhere you can go to for advice. Check out Citizens Advice Bureau and MoneySupermarket.com. Find someone who can advise you for free. Don’t take a pension holiday without assessing the risks.
5. contact all the nurses’ hardship funds that have been linked on this thread. Ask if you meet the criteria. There may be one-off grants for travel or individual purchases.
6. Contact your local authority. Ask about a council tax reduction. Tell them you have three children and are struggling. Ask about hardship funds, one-off grants and support for DS1. Be persistent.
7. See what support is available for DS1. Ask at his college and at the clinic which gave him his diagnosis. Ask GP’s surgery about access to food banks. Even if it is just a month or so in the run up to Christmas, it could be a lifeline. Food banks often do gifts for DC at Christmas.
8. Do a detailed budget of everything you have spent and all income over the last six months. Is there any unnecessary spends? Anything you have overlooked?
9. Look at the subscriptions. I know they are not much and they are essential to the smooth running of your household but are they all used equally? Is there a bundle or deal you could access. If you threaten to leave most will give you a deal or a month free. Could help with Christmas. If they had to lose one, which would it be. Set the DCs on this.
10. Approach your parents. Explain the situation to them. Ask for a long-term interest-free loan. I would do this in a heartbeat for my DCs and would want to know if they were struggling. Use the money to pay off any high-interest debt that you can. Put a little aside for DCs Christmas. Use the bulk to buy a car. Not a moped. You are not Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday. It is cold, wet and dark out there. A car is by far and away the most sensible option. You already have your driver’s licence. You will pick it back up again quickly. Get a relative to go with you or book a couple of brush up lessons. This is a confidence issue. You may be able to use a car to help your finances in the future (driving is a useful skill -you might work in the community). You can use it to ferry kids around and take occasional trips. You can use it to move kids into halls etc if necessary. If you work night shifts you won’t be paying £35 a day parking, will you? You may find roads around the hospital much quieter at that time of night and be able to park for free. Do not under any circumstances buy a moped until you have spent a month travelling to work and back on a hired one. You will end up back in the taxis. The temptation on a wet day will be too much. After all, we’d all love to be chauffeured to work and back. The bulk of your extra cash will come from taxi savings
11. Explain circumstances to kids. Make it a challenge to find as much interesting stuff for free. (There are usually local FB pages with upcycling/ free stuff etc) Get them to do Vinted/EBay. Ask them to come up with ten ideas for making money beyond the paper round (offering to make TikTok content for local businesses etc) You’ll be amazed with what they suggest. Majke it clear all ideas have to be legal, safe and run by you first.
12. Ask occupational health about suitable footwear and any grants for this. Your feet matter. The issue is not your low wage. You were a student a year ago. The issue is you are wholly responsible for four adults or near adults with no help or support. Few jobs would support this. You are already doing amazing things. I know there will be points in my post that you have already considered and discarded for good reason. And I don’t mean to be patronising in any way. But this is how I would approach it. Many people go through a period of poverty. It is nothing to be ashamed of and most friends or relatives would want the opportunity to rally round. Good luck.

Any nursing homes nearer home? You could consider a management role but also they always need nurses.
what about a assessing ( for diplomas) often can be done at home and part time/ ad hoc. They would train you and would be really happy that you’re a nurse.
what about a moped for transport ? You just need to do CBT.

OP has answered this. Also as he is over 18, it’s up to him to claim and his money, not OPs or household money.

OP I think you have clearly thought things through and set up your job and home life to suit the needs of your family. I’m sorry that you are struggling so much but it sounds like things will get better as you move up the ranks at work and as the children get more independent. It sounds like you’ll see the kids less if you worked the day shift, as well as (presumably) earning less, and it’s great to be in a ‘dream job’ with good promotion prospects. Your taxi costs don’t seem too high to me as it’s around the same as my monthly costs on public transport for 12 miles each way - but if you can cut costs with a moped, and you are comfortable doing this, good for you!

As someone who has spent half the night in A&E with a parent, can I also say thank you for what you do.

Just on the PIP issue for your eldest OP when you actually break it down you may find that with the support you give your son that you may pick up 8 points in the daily living section. Particularly in numbers 3 and 8-10 if you have to support with time management, taking medication, communication, reading, social engagement and budgeting. Also possibly in mobility (number 11) if he needs help planning the route of a journey or support if going on an unfamiliar journey.

https://www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/pip-test-form

https://www.rightsnet.org.uk/forums/viewthread/20116/#94607

If it gets rejected then doing a mandatory reconsideration and if that fails going to tribunal is worth it as many people are ultimately successful at tribunal having been rejected at all previous stages.

It's really hard to lift share with NHS shift patterns to be honest , we have a matching scheme at work , but shift lengths vary and start and finish times and even though at one point me, DH and FS were working in the same hospital last year we hardly ever managed to share . Mostly due to people be delayed leaving and the other person gets fed up waiting an hour after their shift to leave

OP says she has only come across one colleague but has she asked around or put up a notice.

Its a bit old school buy I think we have to swallow our pride sometimes.

Only suggestions I can find are
*Two grant schemes for living costs given via local authority.
*Cycle to work scheme (can include e-bikes)
*Maybe can claim some tax back from taxi fares(not too sure of this one)
*make an eBay account to sell anything you no longer need to help get rid of debt (time consuming so maybe a DS could help).
Good luck

Sorry your in this situation. I hope you get sorted. x

Sorry if already mentioned but I’ve found Vinted brilliant for making money from clothes and shoes. All done on the app and no cost to you other than a pack of self seal posting envelopes.

Same for FB marketplace for literally anything. I’ve managed £20/£35 a week on selling things. I have one collection slot a week so it doesn’t take up all my time.
It’s not a long term fix but it’s a quick way to make immediate cash.

Your DC could also help with this easily.

You dont mention if your child who is autistic claims DLA or PIP if they’re over age 16? Care and mobility components available there.

You need to stop spending money on taxis as soon as poss. £255 a month is £3,060 a year. A moped or bike isn't practical all the time, so you need a car.

Buy one for £1,200 lets say..insurance £500 lets say...repairs, mot, etc 250 lets say, and petrol £600 a year, with parking at £420 a year.

So the first year you spend £2,970 in total...but in the second year you'll save the cost of the car (£1,200) and the insurance should come down a bit too meaning you're saving over £100 a month every month!

Move to Wales where your college student will be entitled to EMA if you fall within the income threshold.

Definitely pause your pension contributions temporarily. I did this when I first started working at my trust when completely skint. It made such a difference to have that additional amount in my pay check. When I contacted NHS pensions they asked if I would like the amount I had previously contributed (only a few months worth at that point) reimbursed. This made a HUGE difference too as it was a lump sum. At my age now I would do everything in my power to keep my pension contributions up but at the time it made such a difference and it was only for a year then I re-enrolled on a much firmer footing. Good luck and thanks for all you do!

UC is deducted 55p for every £1 earned, and you could also claim PIP for your son. You can claim online. You can get a bus pass for your children and speak with the LA about getting one.

Doing the WFH role would mean no expenditure on taxis, you can cut down on your hours and get a UC top-up. You would be home for your children, no nightshifts, no working weekends, or Bank Holidays, Flexi-Time, and you can join the fast stream within the DWP and work your way up to higher paid roles much faster than you can now. You can only join the fast stream with a degree.

The moral aspect - You cannot fail those whom are evidently disabled/sick/vulnerable. Not applying because of some presumed moral ethics code you've thought up, is only going to make you and your children suffer in the long run. I would be against my children staying home alone for so many hours and days, glued to the TV etc instead of going out with friends and getting much needed exercise and socialising. - That should be more important to you. You cannot rescue everyone - I learned that the hard way, and nobody cares if you're a martyr. You need to look after #1.