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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you were absolutely flat broke in this situation, how would you make money?

559 replies

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 17:32

Some context - single mum of 3 teenagers. Qualfied as a nurse a year ago, so on the lowest increment for band 5 pay. i work all night plus extra bank shifts to maximise my income with enhancements. Moving up pay scales/banding is impossible at the minute. The extra shifts means my UC entitlement is 0 most months. I get CB for 2/3 of the children. Eldest has autism and whilst he works, he doesnt earn enough to be contributing anything substantial to the household. Ex gave up working and claims benefits, i get the standard £29 a month deduction from his benefits via CMS, he hasnt seen the children in over a decade so doesnt contribute anything further. I dont drive and theres no public transport running at a time that i can get to work, so i have to pay for taxis which are expensive but i have no other options. Its a 2 hour walk before/after 13 hours shifts and i usually do 4 or 5 in a week, im so exhausted i cant do this walk on top of my very busy active shift. We live in a rented house, which is a reasonable rent for the area, but still expensive. 1 child in school who can walk, 1 child in college who cant walk as its too far so i have to ay transport costs for them. I have some "unnecessary" outgoings, gaming subscriptions and streaming services, however my children are home alone 4 or 5 nights a week so they need something to keep them occupied as i dislike them going out and about whilst im at work, as i work in a very busy A&E department, im not easily contactable and like to know they are safe. I have some small debts im paying off from when i was a student and really struggled to get by.

Every month i run i out of money, its just impossible. I cant work more, i cant see where i can reduce out goings. I cant get a third job (my substantial and bank are two different contracts). I cant afford christmas, which i know isnt the be all and end all. But, when i was a student i promised my children a better future when i was stressed writing assignments doing placements and missing important events. But its not gotten better. Infact im worse off each month now than i was when studying. The recent NHS payrise left me worse off, as it bumped me into the next pension bracket, so the little i got backdated last pay, i now owe in pension arrears from April when the pay rise was back dated to. This amount is more than i received in back pay last month.

Life is just impossible. I cant give my children any standard of living, despite working my arse off to improve my career and do as many shifts a week as i am physically able to do.

What would you do? Genuinely? My only potential plan at the minute is the WFH pip assessor roles, its the same money im on now, but no travel costs. Keep my bank job to pick up an extra weeked shift each week. But its a job role i struggle with morally, and i would lose the patient contact element of my job for the most part. And A&E was my dream job, i love it, and the experience is vital for my future career aspirations.

OP posts:
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NamechangeRugby · 15/11/2024 19:22

Could you pick up a good second hand bike, helmet, lock, bright waterproofs, lights, good gloves, use a rucksack and cycle weather permitting? Often it is possible to cut across using roads/paths with less traffic... Might be a 20/30 minute cycle and it is lovely if you like cycling... Appreciate it is an investment though and your route may not be suitable. I have done this myself, for years at a time, mainly to build fitness into my day over a pretty safe & flat route.

Carriemac · 15/11/2024 19:21

Stick with the nursing and the pension as it will eventually all get better . The moped / hire low cost scheme sounds ideal and use the food bank , we see loads of nurses with families at ours and the only thing we judge is the NHS rubbish pay that puts you there !

Aberentian · 15/11/2024 19:21

God you must be exhausted OP working that many full shifts a week. I think you're amazing.

I wouldn't worry about the PIP role morally, somebody will be doing it, and even if you're not making the decisions, if you treat people kindly and with humanity that is far from nothing.

But it's such a sad thing to think of you quitting the A & E role you love and giving up on your future ambitions. It's not like just anyone can be an A & E nurse and you have worked so hard.

Jynxed · 15/11/2024 19:20

I really hope the person having a moan about public sector pensions is reading this thread.

Serencwtch · 15/11/2024 19:20

stressedoutstudent · 15/11/2024 17:41

My journey home is all up hill, again after 13 hours and an average of 25k steps, i just wouldnt have the energy to cycle home 4/5 mornings a week, especially over winter. It would still take me an hour+ (ive not rode a bike in 30+ years)

Does your employer do a cycle to work scheme that covers e-bikes?

Cycling uphill on an e-bike is a doddle.

I'm in the same boat & won't ever be able to drive due to epilepsy & brain injury so have had to cycle. You get fit & adjust quite quickly cycling. I do 8 miles each way each day & I'm definitely not athletic. I don't go at Lycra man speed buts it a lot quicker than walking. I'm minimum wage so taxi is never an option.

The taxis must add up to quite a bit so prob easier to cut that down than take on extra work.

Also are you claiming everything you can for disabled DC? PIP etc?

MumDoingMyBest · 15/11/2024 19:20

I really wouldn't opt out of your pension without checking the small print and thinking through different scenarios (or being less indirect - if you opt out of pension are you opting out of death in service benefits as well?).

Can you look at your debts and if you can reduce payments there? I'd also, if you think your parents could afford this, consider borrowing money off them to repay the MSc loan and then pay your parents back over a longer period of time.

Also consider going on moneysavingexpert and doing a full budget. You might be able to make savings in unexpected places. £15 a day on a commute is below the average UK commuting cost (and cheaper than the cost of commuting by car once parking etc are included) so don't assume a car would be cheaper if you don't otherwise need one.

And as a short term fix - see if you have anything you can sell on eBay as before Christmas is a good time to sell things.

andweallsingalong · 15/11/2024 19:19

Google your local wheels to work. Approx £45 a week for scooter hire, CBT, insurance, maintenance.

Not a huge saving but all adds up.

PlantDoctor · 15/11/2024 19:17

I know you're a qualified nurse, but for that amount of money is it not worth moving to another job outside of nursing? Do you expect your income to go up significantly in the next few years? Sorry, I don't know much about the NHS pay structure!

Anothercoffeeafter3 · 15/11/2024 19:16

Redpandapaw · 15/11/2024 19:04

the Botox industry need nurses!!

I know this isn’t what you asked - but I’m wondering if we can all help you reduce your groceries bill?? How much do you spend and where do you shop?

This but the start up costs aren't small. OP I would get a cheap moped for work runs at around £500 (credit card?). Could you drop to 36 hours (3x13hr shifts) gives you 4 days a week to do bank shifts.

bamboosockmonster · 15/11/2024 19:15

Sounds so tough OP. Depending on the ages of your kids I would ask them to look into ways to bring money into the household working from home e.g. develop websites, youtube channel, anything! Ask them to be creative and do something they would enjoy. Niche blog with advertising, Substack, Tiktok, Instagram account for the cat or something creative and fun. I realise this is a bit of a longshot but they could develop skills and support you. Some of that time gaming and watching TV could be focussed on bringing in money in another way online instead. It is possible to make money, they just have to go about it the right way.

andweallsingalong · 15/11/2024 19:14

Apologies if anyone has already suggested this, but if you're up for riding a scooter look for ride to work schemes. You use to be able to get scooter and helmet for a low cost rental, servicing including and just hand it back when you no longer need it on a government scheme.

potatocakesinprogress · 15/11/2024 19:14

omg people stop suggesting bikes. no one is cycling 8 miles both before and after doing a 12 hour shift in A&E, especially in winter 🙄

isthesolution · 15/11/2024 19:14

I'd take the pip assessor job. You can keep doing bank shifts. And you can go back into a permanent hospital job when the children are older?

There's a scheme called wheels to work as well - check if they do this in your area. You can use a moped for about £30-40 a week, fully insured etc. I'm not sure if that would work out cheaper/better than taxis?

Cakeandusername · 15/11/2024 19:13

It’s sounds like you are doing amazingly well. You are supporting 3 people and yourself. Your ex is contributing nothing shame on him.

MeganM3 · 15/11/2024 19:13

Honestly in your shoes I'd leave the job for now and get something closer to home.
It won't be forever just while the kids are in this phase.

A nurse friend of mine has temporarily packed in nursing while her DC is having some school issues and is a cash in hand cleaner cleaning nice houses £20 per hour and claiming benefits.
Yes not exactly ideal but she's keeping afloat.

LannieDuck · 15/11/2024 19:13

You need to get off the taxis. I agree with the moped idea. Can you salary sacrifice into your pension a bit to put you down into the original tax bracket?

Ukholidaysaregreat · 15/11/2024 19:11

I bought my car - an old Toyota Yaris for £1000. It runs and runs. I can fit all the kids in to drop them off places and it is worth it for me. Might be worth if for you at £15 a taxi ride. Good Luck sounds very difficult. You have done so well to get qualified and run a home.

VoteDappy · 15/11/2024 19:11

Have just seen you can drive
Just get a small car either salary sacrifice or parental loan
Ask one of your parents to do some practice runs first
Your situation is not sustainable currently

SchoolDilemma17 · 15/11/2024 19:10

justasking111 · 15/11/2024 19:06

@stressedoutstudent

Is there anything your husband could do to help. Even working from home there should be something out there.

There is no husband

sabbii · 15/11/2024 19:10

Can your college kid get the education maintenance thing. EmA or rather, it's not much but could help out
As many have said
Bike
Pip for as long as you can stomach it

P.s any friends who can give a few private driving lessons to help familiarise with driving and limit the number of lessons

Sometimesrational · 15/11/2024 19:10

Can your child who is at college get a job and make a contribution for their keep?

justasking111 · 15/11/2024 19:06

@stressedoutstudent

Is there anything your husband could do to help. Even working from home there should be something out there.

HurdyGurdy19 · 15/11/2024 19:05

You are in such a difficult situation. Regarding transport costs, at least, look into

"wheels to work". Google it, to see if there's one in your area. Their blurb says
Wheels 2 Work is a not for profit moped loan scheme, that helps people get to work, apprenticeships, or training, where no other form of transport is available.
Eligible candidates receive a moped after they have completed the compulsory basic training (CBT).

Also look at liftshare.com/uk. I realise that your shift pattern may make this more difficult, but at least have a look.

Car share with trusted, reviewed and rated Liftshare.com members

Sick of expensive travel? Car share for less with Liftshare, the UK's biggest car sharing community. Cheap, social and green travel is just a few clicks away

https://liftshare.com/uk

Redpandapaw · 15/11/2024 19:04

the Botox industry need nurses!!

I know this isn’t what you asked - but I’m wondering if we can all help you reduce your groceries bill?? How much do you spend and where do you shop?

SpunkyKoala · 15/11/2024 19:04

Go for the pip role you can always go back to nursing later when the kids are in a better place

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