To be a bit annoyed at this comment by my mum.

Unbelievably awful from a grandparent - bad enough from an acquaintance, frankly.

I’d not contact her again and wait for her to ask why I haven’t called. I’d then tell her calmly that I was appalled by what she said. If she makes light of it or says you’re too sensitive I’d put the phone down on her.

This is the sort of thing I also deal with OP. I used to think it was normal until my DH pointed out he wasn't happy how my parents were talking to me or our child.

Sadly, there will be a reason they are like this (learnt behaviour, jealousy, narcissistic) but that's not your problem. It's theirs and only they can change that attitude.

Realistically how likely are they to change when you try to talk to them? Is it worth getting upset over when they attempt to downplay comments etc.? Probably not.

Go to the play with someone else, enjoy yourself and distance yourself from these people. Google grey rock if you can't cut them out.

All the best Op.

I honestly cannot believe she said that! I am hurt for you OP!

I love seeing my grandchildren in things just as I loved seeing my children. There is something very moving about small children in nativities.
And they are all wonderful whatever they do!
I don't understand your mother's attitude. I am very sorry OP. And you are certainly not unreasonable to feel hurt and angry. Ignore her and enjoy your lovely child and the show

Sounds like my mother, my autistic son is manipulative apparently, she’s just nasty I’ve finally cut her out. Not saying to do that but listen out for anymore of that tone, just don’t put up with it. That’s so hurtful am sorry your own mum would say something like that to you about your little boy. It’s hard enough knowing things will be different without your family saying those sort of things. Your son will be awesome, I remember my little boy as a shepherd in his primary one nativity he didn’t have lines but he did his little bit and was v cute

I can't believe that a grandmother would say something so horrible about her 3 year old grand-child.

It's not a West End show ffs, it's a group of 3-year olds in a Nativity Play. Never invite her to anything again.

Absolutely this. Your three year old will be as adorable and chaotic as every other three year old in a nativity. If nativities involved anyone involved being 'any good', they wouldn't be the annual wondrous shambles they are. My parents lived overseas and were visiting in Dec when DS was in reception, but couldn't stay for Christmas, so the very kind reception/Year 1 teachers let them attend the dress rehearsal and weep buckets over DS as an uncooperative sheep singing 'Little Donkey' with his back to the audience. They were thrilled.

What a mean comment.

The cutest thing about it is none of them are any good - it’s about seeing them all adorable in their first nativity costumes. I’ve laughed and cried and at these things. They right warm the cockles.

Nobody goes to see a nursery play because it's "good".

Poor you OP, I hope you have some kind, supportive people in your life too. Build up your boundaries to protect you and your son from this nastiness, and enjoy the play! It will be lovely. If DS won't be performing, will he be involved in any other aspect, or would he go to watch his friends?

Wow. What an evil thing to say. Just tell her she wasn't good at parenting and you still see her.

Wow!

I'd be very low contact with her going forward and I'd tell her what a nasty bitch she is if she asks why.

What a mean thing to say. Ignore her and like others have said, don't ask her again and if she asks you to attend anything like this in the future, remind her of her rude comments.

I'm sure he's going to be amazing and you will feel so proud of him

Fuck her noise.

My middle child also has an asd diagnosis, among others, and at 3 in nursery sat mutinously refusing to engage in the song his class were singing. He was there though, and he wore his wise man crown, and it was, for him, a massive success.

Your mother doesn’t deserve to be a grandparent.

A 'bit annoyed'? I'd be fucking livid. Tell her to take her negativity and stuff it. You'll feel a whole lot better.

You are under-reacting. If she put you down for years and now she is doing the same to your son, that is emotional abuse and you deserve to feel more than 'a bit annoyed' about it.

What an absolute *@&! What has she done with her life that is so bloody brilliant? Time to draw some firm boundaries. She has no right to be so disparaging, rude and disrespectful. I am really cross for you and your darling boy, can you tell?!

That was low...

He's 3 years old...

No more to add..

@MammaKel shes shown her true colours haven’t changed. Stop involving her in your life. Stop telling her things she can use to drag you down. Stop involving and inviting her to anything.

God that's just so awful. You must be devastated.

I remember when family, friends, strangers use to comment on my DD when she was very little, I actually use to spend more time crying over comments rather than put them in their place.

You keep on being proud of your ds and when people make comments like that I always found what stops them in their tracks is say "Do you feel better having said what you have about a disabled child". You can re word it to something you'd prefer.

Foot in mouth problem there.

I'd be hurt. Does she see him as "less than"?

That’s so awful. We don’t go to our children’s and grandchildren’s shows because of their acting talent, but because we love them and want to support them. Those little faces really light up when they spot their loved ones in the audience, and it means so much to them that you’re cheering them on.

Anyway, we all know this… I’m sorry your mum didn’t get the memo. Really awful thing for her to say. Don’t ask her again.

Awful thing to say about your DS, her DGS. All children should be able to participate in a little play, with support and at Nursery level it really doesn’t matter if they just stand there and nothing else! Most will be waving to parents, jiggling around, shuffling…! I taught Nursery and someone once said that putting on a little show was like trying to pin down tadpoles…they are pretty much unpredictable but every parent goes home with a tear in their eye (the teachers do too!) I really hope your little boy is in the play, it sounds like he’s enjoying himself x

Has your mum ever seen a 3 y/o child actor? Just wondering what her expectations are. Ridiculous comment.

Go and enjoy your lovely child’s play and don’t invite her to anything again.

Not at all silly OP, it's lovely you're excited for your son and I'd have thought a grandparent would either also be excited, or at least not be mean about it if it isn't their bag. I'd be wary of letting that kind of energy and comment near my DS. This sort of thing is actually why I put a good deal of distance between my mum and my kids, until she realised that she was losing out and has made a marked effort to stop making nasty comments in recent months.

I'm glad your DS was enjoying himself. Hope if you do go that you have a lovely time at the play!