To be annoyed child got no part in school play

Honestly they just tend to pick the children who can read and speak the best and loudest. There is also a big difference between confident and confident on a stage infront of the rest of your school and parents.

Also honestly no child remembers if they were the lead or even a speaker in year 1 or reception. They only know because parents told them and remind them.

I hope you haven't let you child know your disappointment.

My elder son was a shepherd and seemed fine with it until his friend was a King and then he cried because he wanted to be a king too. We told him there can only be 3 Kings but he somehow negotiated with the teacher and we got a note home saying he'd behaved very well and had been given a promotion to a king so even after roles are assigned they can be changed.

There's another active thread in 'Chat' from the other perspective. Are they related? 😂

It sounds like your DS is good at a lot of things.

Maybe the children you are talking about who have been picked twice and are in trouble a lot are ONLY good at this one thing. It's often the kids who are a bit...bubbly...who really excel on stage and throw their whole selves into it.

It's maybe the one time in the academic year they get to shine and feel good about themselves.

When it comes to who gets picked for the school football team, we don't say that they should pick the kids who are average at football but well-behaved, we say they should pick the kids who are really good at football, because kids deserve to be able to do the thing they are really good at and be proud of it.

Could not agree more. The whole thing sounds like an entitled parent who can’t accept her kid wasn’t chosen.

Wait until he doesn’t get chosen for star of the week, or for a school team or to be head student. Sure go and talk to the teacher, be a Karen and start the practise of being that parent.

Honestly let it go. It's not important. As someone who played a villager for every year of my primary school I can promise you it never effected me. Less stressful too!

As a primary teacher who has organised lots of nativity play I would completely want to know if a child was upset. I always find a speaking part for everyone who wants it in the eldest year group in the play. It’s really not that hard. Plus as a parent whose child has been overlooked , it’s not great. And it’s always the parents who haven’t faced this issue that say it’s not big deal. Building children’s confidence is huge in the early years.

This is about you, your ego and that you think your child deserves to get a key role more than others, which I find a bit weird tbh. It's a school nativity...

Goodness, it really doesn't matter. Is there 30 speaking parts?? I'm sure your child wont care. Just turn up, tell them how well they did.

@Honeybeebuzz your posts are about you being upset that he hasn't got a part. Have you actually asked your son if he wants a part?

My dd hated the idea of any speaking part, it was literally her worst nightmare. School would encourage her as she has always been an excellent reader but she would flat out refuse.

How sure are you that they haven't asked/offered him a role and he has declined?

As a veteran mother of 6 I can tell you that this isnt important. What is important is that he is doing well, is learning well and his behaviour is good.

Some schools think that giving the little shits (ie, the ones who get excluded etc) important jobs, builds their self esteem and makes them behave better. One of my childrens heads thought this. She was wrong. Just made them worse. The best lesson you DC can learn is that sometimes those that deserve the best dont get it, and to accept that with grace and equanimity. Right now they cant choose to change schools but that lesson will help them as they get older and can choose to escape a toxic work place for example.

The teachers act like casting directors in those plays and like irl, they cast their favourites and the talented.

@stormwarrierridesthewaves
Oh, he would have been lovely as Joseph. Kids with downs always warms my heart, I can't really explain why. I am happy that he's in a good inclusive environment now. 🌻

Our DC is doing well academically and we get a lot of feedback about their being well behaved, but I wouldn't expect parts in the school play to be allocated on this basis. For one thing, our one finds remembering individual lines & when to say them REALLY hard; so it's best all round if they stick to singing and dancing parts till they're a bit older. Poor teachers, they have so much stress just getting through the basics, then have to put up with parents getting narked because their kid got the wrong part in the nativity of all things.

If last year is anything to go by, 80% of them will have speaking parts, in which case they should just give everyone who wants one a speaking part.

We don't really know how he feels. My son never complained, but he lost interest. When he has a line he is excited and believes that the show revolves around him - if I left it up to the school I have no doubt he could go all the way through sitting at the back of the stage not complaining, disengaged and waiting for playtime. There are plenty of kids who do that, and all of them are capable of more given half a chance.

This happened to me as a teacher (secondary). Parent complained her child never got asked to read in the Carol service. We let her child do a reading. Child hated the experience and messed up the reading even though I did lots of practice with her. It was all for the parent, not the child.

There are worse things in life than annoying your child's teacher.

Your husband is right: it will really annoy the teacher.

At my DCs' school, the children are asked if they want a speaking part, if they don't volunteer they get a part as a narrator or in a chorus. If your child is not bothered then just don't worry about it!

OP’s child doesn’t seem to care half as much as she does.

Sorry no I don't buy that. Total copout. 90% of the parents at my dd's school would help them until they knew the lines and the school know that damned well. Yes I agree the play shouldn't be one kid getting 100's of (supposedly) funny lines and the rest getting 2/3 dull lines at best. The worst part is that one of the kids in our play this year apparently also gets an entire song to sing by themselves. They could surely get at least a handful of kids singing a few lines of this each and all getting their 'moment' but no. It all has to go to one kid who is already being taught that they're above everyone else. I'm not sure it's doing the kid any favours though. They're in for an absolute shock when they start highschool...

If most get a part then it is very likely they were asked if they wanted a speaking part and your ds didn't volunteer either nerves or he didnt hear when they were asked or some bad luck as at the toilet or something when it was discussed.

If your son isnt bothered i expect he wasnt sure about speaking.

I have a very quiet eldest who would not volunteer for these things which was no surprise. My very loud and confident youngest also not willing to speak lines to a hall full of people. Fine with attention happening naturally ie telling a joke to the room or volunteering an answer, going on stage last minute at a kids club on holiday but not preplanned public speaking.