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AIBU?

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Original poster

If you want a loan repaying then you can’t decide you’ll only accept cash ?

135 replies

Shouldbeeasy · 15/11/2024 12:15

I was loaned £1000 by a family member. The agreement was to pay it back £250 a month for 4 months. It was transferred to me.

I made the first repayment text to say I’d done it then get a message back that they’ve sent it back and I’m to deliver cash each month to them . They live THREE hours away. This was not agreed and I don’t understand but each time I say no I’m only doing bank transfer they won’t accept it. So now I don’t know what to do and I cant do a 6 hour round trip every month for 4 months !!!

OP posts:
Cornflakelover · 15/11/2024 15:45

your allowed to take money from family if your on benefits
as long as she isn’t over the 6 -16k limit it’s perfectly ok to take cash gifts / transfers from families

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 15/11/2024 15:38

DSIS has done you a favour so you want to be respectful of whatever her needs are, but you don't know what they are. You really need to ask her, then find something that works for you both. Clearly driving for six hours once a month is not a reasonable solution because it would be a financial strain.

CasperGutman · 15/11/2024 15:34

LauderSyme · 15/11/2024 14:39

"If you're sending valuables, money or jewellery in the post, you should use Royal Mail Special Delivery Guaranteed®. Money should be packaged securely and shouldn't be visible from the outside. Don't indicate anywhere on the packaging that money is enclosed".

Copied from a Google search.

Special Delivery would work, but it's expensive. Sending a package up to 100g by Special Delivery Guaranteed by 1pm with the minimum compensation level of £750 will cost you £7.75 if you buy the postage online or £8.35 if you do it at the post office.

It would be cheaper to send money using Western Union or MoneyGram - the latter would charge £2.99 for the monthly £250 payment. Your sister would have to collect it though, I think (never used one of these services myself).

Even Special Delivery would be cheaper than a six hour road trip, though!

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 15/11/2024 15:32

Shouldbeeasy · 15/11/2024 15:30

No because she sent it back ?

Show quote history

Oh, of course

Original poster
Shouldbeeasy · 15/11/2024 15:30

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 15/11/2024 14:26

Is she overdrawn and not wanting the money to be swallowed by the overdraft?

No because she sent it back ?

OP posts:
ByMerryKoala · 15/11/2024 15:17

Records! Jesus, no good deed and all that.

RB68 · 15/11/2024 15:15

she can decide before hand not apply difficult to meet criteria after the event - thats changing things too much esp with a 6hr round trip required to do that

housethatbuiltme · 15/11/2024 15:12

Send the bank transfer... KEEP RECORD OF IT.

If they send it back that is on them. Legally you repayed and they are being unreasonable. They do not have a leg to stand on in court.

Nanof8 · 15/11/2024 15:07

It sounds odd. I would make sure that you get a written receipt when you pay it back.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/11/2024 15:06

CautiousLurker1 · 15/11/2024 13:49

Legally, in the absence of a written agreement stating otherwise, you are required to repay the loan in the same means as given, i.e. if she gave you £1000 cash, you’d repay it in cash; as it was sent by transfer means your legally required to repay it the same way.

I’d state that this is the case and that you’ll repay by monthly transfer, meeting the agreed schedule, unless she would like to confirm in writing that she would prefer a single sum repaid in cash at the end of the 4m period and will be collecting it herself? Family, eh?

Edited

This is interesting. I had a quick google but there’s a lot of information not relevant. I would tell your sister this.

Thelittleweasel · 15/11/2024 15:05

@Shouldbeeasy

An interesting legal situation! If you send the money by a valid means and they return it have they accepted that the money/instalment has been paid? ["Probably"].

The difficulty is that if you do actually pay by cash you will need a signed receipt for each instalment to "prove" that payment made [else ...]

There is a sensible suggestion that you send it in cash by Special Delivery [make sure that this is acceptable to Royal Mail] and again insist on a receipt for each

Coconutter24 · 15/11/2024 14:59

Silvers11 · 15/11/2024 13:48

@Shouldbeeasy I'm wondering if she has a lot of debt and if you pay it into her account her bank will just take it towards the debt (say an unauthorised overdraft) so she needs it in cash so she can spend it? Is that a possibility? I think a prepaid card like Revolute should help?

If she’s got a lot of debt she might not be in a position to lend £1k so seems unlikely

JudgeJ · 15/11/2024 14:58

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 15/11/2024 12:20

Are they worried it will affect benefits or something like that?

Almost certainly, they won't want it showing up on their bank account, was it given in cash originally I wonder?

Blankscreen · 15/11/2024 14:48

Please pay it in £1 coins.

gamerchick · 15/11/2024 14:44

Instead of guessing..how about just ask her why she wants the 6 hr round trip every month.

RacerbackHeadache · 15/11/2024 14:42

How can it be a benefit dodge if she had it in her bank account to transfer to OP in the first place?

Dsis is presumably not Father Ted, UC wouldn’t believe it had been ‘just resting in her account’.

Dsis had it in her account, it will have already been ‘seen’, paying it back by the same means it went out would make zero difference.

And it’s totally fine to lend or gift family money when on benefits.

So it’s all a bit weird.

Startinganew32 · 15/11/2024 14:41

What a weirdo. But can’t you send cash via western union or similar? I’ve done that before. I know they are associated with scams but you can do it legitimately and it works quite well.
If it was my sister I’d ask why she’s being such a dickhead about it and that of course I’m not going to do a six hour round trip every month.

Margorett · 15/11/2024 14:39

Tel12 · 15/11/2024 12:19

Send it special delivery

This

LauderSyme · 15/11/2024 14:39

"If you're sending valuables, money or jewellery in the post, you should use Royal Mail Special Delivery Guaranteed®. Money should be packaged securely and shouldn't be visible from the outside. Don't indicate anywhere on the packaging that money is enclosed".

Copied from a Google search.

BangFlash · 15/11/2024 14:33

Is this person lonely and they thought they might be buying a bit of your time in lieu of interest?

Your are not being unreasonable regardless.

Katy123g · 15/11/2024 14:31

twomanyfrogsinabox · 15/11/2024 14:27

Can you suggest vouchers of some sort if they don't want money paid into their account? Did they give you cash?

This is a good idea. Do they have a particular supermarket they use and would they accept a £250 e gift card each month?

Hualalai · 15/11/2024 14:30

I don't understand why posters are so keen to see everyone in a bad light. The OP hasn't even asked her sister why she wants cash and it might be that the sister assumed that the OP will just use western Union, send the cash in the post or one of the other suggestions in the post.

The sister was kind enough to lend the OP £1000 interest free why now assume she is controlling or whatever. Some posters are so negative.

twomanyfrogsinabox · 15/11/2024 14:27

Can you suggest vouchers of some sort if they don't want money paid into their account? Did they give you cash?

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 15/11/2024 14:26

Is she overdrawn and not wanting the money to be swallowed by the overdraft?

notacooldad · 15/11/2024 14:24

It sounds like they helped you out when you needed it. They will have their reasons, may be debt on the account or whatever.
You were happy to take it but you can't put yourself out fir a few months.
Maybe offer to pay £500 x 2 then it would oy be two trips?

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