12 year old forgot homework, aibu to want to drop it into the school?

I've done it a handful of times over three years, but only when is haven't gone out of my way, ie, I'll drop it in if I'm heading past anyway or have time but I won't go home and get it for him.

It didn’t happen often at all, but I’d usually drop off anything dds had forgotten, at least at younger secondary age.

That was probably because even at primary stage my own mother hardly ever made sure I had what was needed, so I was endlessly ticked off for not having this or that. At that age it’s nearly always the parent doing the remembering, not the child, as I was well aware even then.

By senior stage I knew it was entirely down to me, so did (usually) remember what was needed.

I would as a one off, not if it kept happening. My son is year 8. They’re only 12, it’s normal to forget things occasionally

I would (and did) as a one off. The stress that a detention would have caused mine would have created a bigger problem.

As a one-off its fine.

If it's not regular then I would. It's modelling kindness and empathy.

I would and have done as it’s not a regular occurrence and both my children worked really hard at school,

If I could I would , why not? Sometimes i think there's a completely ott effort on mumsnet to make every interaction with your children a life lesson .. Nothing wrong with modelling kindness too though...

This is what I did for dd when she forgot her work once when she was in year 7. Or maybe I sent it to dd. I forget.

I would take it if it’s out and you see it. Dd contacted me for this piece as she realised her mistake so I had to find it in her stuff.

A one-off yes, not a regular occurrence.

If they've done their homework and simply left it on the kitchen table then, yes, I'd bring it in, but remind them at night to put it straight in their bag the night before so they don't forget again.

I've done it once and made it clear it was a one off and wouldn't happen again.
If its clearly a one off I wouldn't mind but if it was a pattern of being unorganised and expecting me to sort it out then no.

If you can then do it if you can’t don’t just like you would for any other human being you care about why does everything have to be a life lesson…..

I have ADHD that was only diagnosed recently. Thankfully my dad was lovely and always did these things for me when I messed up as a teen because I wouldn't have learned but I would have struggled through constant embarrassment and shame.

To add, our (secondary) school are happy to receive, but they just keep it at the office and it's on the DC to go and collect it, they don't come looking for you.

I drop off here, it only happens a couple of times a year, is a genuine mistake and I use it as a 'treat them as you would like to be treated.'

DDs primary school asked parents in yr 6 to not do this sort of thing for their kids - that it was time they all (SEN excepted, obv) learned to take responsibility or else took the (mild) consequences before they went to secondary.

'Dropping off' forgotten items makes work for the staff. So probably best not for anything that won't have serious consequences (eg lunch if there's no suitable alternative food).

Yes, would and have. They are good kids and wouldn't do it on purpose. I've forgotten things plenty of times and had dh drop them off. Just busy life. I do think it is part of our role as parents to make sure bags are packed, equipment etc and homework done. Not necessarily doing it for them but quick look, asking, checklist etc age dependent.

Actually, emailing to the teacher is a good idea.

I have done it plenty of times for my 2, sometimes by request and sometimes when I have noticed. I generally have a once per half term rule though.
I work very flexibly from home and school is a 5 minute walk away so I don't mind.

My DC are dyslexic so organisation can be a challenge. I have done the odd drop off of stuff if I’m working from home. I have also photographed forgotten homework and emailed it to the teacher so they could see it had been done.

It depends... DSes have forgotten lunch/PE kit on occasions, and I normally do go and get it.

They don't mean to do it, it's not really carelessness as a habit, just a momentary blip that we all have sometimes, and they are grateful when I do it. I'd prefer them to know that I have their back, and I understand that we're all human, than have them get in trouble/get hungry for want of an hour out of my day (and petrol).

One of my DC (with dyslexia and related disorganisation issues) would quite often want me to bring in forgotten items. I would do so when convenient (often meant waiting until lunch time). Her teachers all knew about the extra challenge she faced, and were quite good about accepting that homework was done, and suspending sanction if it really did appear via hand of Mum during the day.

Yes, she grew out of it - or rather she learned, over time, coping and checking techniques that meant the oversights became rare and then even rarer.

I don't think a more punitive regime would have helped her. She was well aware of the disruption it caused, and grateful that I did help her whenever I could. And learned. It just took rather longer than you might otherwise have expected.

My son's calculator fell out of his bag and I knew he would get a negative mark for not having it. I have just dropped it off 😳

I dropped off PE kit once and made a huge fuss over it and made it clear that next time he would have to wear the awful stuff in the school’s spares box.

That seemed to work.