12 year old forgot homework, aibu to want to drop it into the school?

When our children forgot things, one of us would take it in to them. It only happened a few times, it’s good to show them you’ll help them out. Anyone can forget something occasionally.

Do it. My DC was suitably embarrassed not to forget again. They also know I care and will support them when there are mistakes.

I'm very much a Tough Titty kind of parent.So, no, we don't bring stuff in they've forgotten.

I get that if you’re at work and it’s really inconvenient, you might not drop it off. Or if your child is doing this every other week and you’re sick of it. But if it’s a one off/ rare occurrence and you’re able to drop it off without too much inconvenience, then I can’t understand why on earth you wouldn’t.

My two have pleasantly surprised me. Both are dyslexic, DS1 has additional issues that affect executive function. In 2+ years I have had to drop his PE kit off once. If they just assumed that I'd auto-pilot bail them out as a substitute for their own planning, then they can face the consequences from school. I am happy to support them for occasional genuine errors about things that they do care about.

I was a bit perplexed about DS2's near detention for not having the PE kit that was in his hand... the plonker opened the bag, saw the black jumper on top, decided that he had no t-shirt and shorts and ended up getting a rollocking and wearing lost property. I'd hope it's a lesson in "looking with your hands" but he's been quite persistant at not learning that over many years.

I have ended up traipsing along a motorway to intersect DH at services after he forgot his passport on a busy day when he was going to an airport via a site visit in the opposite direction. If normally organised people like him can occasionally flounder, the DCs can be spared some kindness too.

I always did, if I could. My DS is now doing well at university so I wouldn't say it's a lesson needing learning by getting detention or whatever. I think that the actual lesson is learnt when the child feels the "oh fuck I haven't got xyz" moment. If a parent (who is able to do the drop) then refuses, I think the lesson learnt might be, my mum/dad doesn't have my back. Instead of, or in addition to, the lesson you are intending them to learn.

Jesus, some of these replies. It's like nobody on Mumsnet has ever forgotten something in their life.

Of course you drop it off, as long as its not a daily occurrence and you're physically able.

I forgot my lunch the other days, and DH kindly drove it to the office for me. Oddly enough, he didn't refuse and then give me a lecture to 'teach me a lesson.'

Mine are still little, but assuming it was a genuine mistake and didn’t happen often, I’d do it without question.
I forgot to get something I really needed the other day, and I asked dh to run into the shop on his way home. I can’t imagine a world where he’d have said no, and told me to live with the consequences.

Of course I'd do it. We all forget things

I always did if I could . They are all fully functional adults now ,and appreciate their Mum.

If he failed a maths test, would you expect the teacher to give him help with the bits he didn't understand or just say that he'll never learn if he gets help?

Take him his homework, he didn't do it on purpose and organisational skills are hard to learn.

I would take it. School days are tough enough without added pressure.

Never did it because I was a teacher. From a very young age my DC learned that they had to be responsible for whatever they needed. DS thought it was very odd that his friend phoned his mum from the school office to ask for his football boots.

Impressed by all these schools that get (non essential) forgotten items to students. Surely that is a huge PITA for most secondary schools unless they are a quite small?

DS is year 8 and I would but he is autistic and has dyspraxia and gets very upset very easily to him it would be a catastrophic event. That said he's really good about remembering it most of the time becaise he's very worried about being told off if he forgets

I can't.
The kids leave the house after me, so just have to deal with it.
DS1 has only not got away with it once in 4 years - and went groveling to the teacher the following morning with the homework, and detention got removed.
PE kit, they have to borrow.

From the school side: it's a PIT A to have loads of stuff dropped off.

Good for you. Just like you would do for anyone else, in the workplace or if it was your DH who had dropped something important

I would and do drop stuff off that is forgotten, it isn’t often and I know the panic my youngest in particular feel at the prospect of a sanction for forgetting. If it was or became a frequent thing I’d let them take the consequences.

DH is this family’s “most likely to forget” person, I have come to think he genuinely can’t help it but it is frustrating for everyone (mostly him when he arrives at work to find his phone/lunch/laptop are still at home).

Not unreasonable at all. I teach my children that we are a team and support each other. I would take in the homework, just as my children would help me out if I forgot something or needed something done.

You're assuming the OP has a scanner.

It doesn't save time all round.

If the teacher has a pile of 29 physical books to mark and one student has emailed it, they then have to spend extra time going online, downloading it, printing it, and remembering that one particular student's work is on a separate sheet of paper rather than in a book. Very annoying for the teacher.

just scan it and email it in? saves time all around

Take a photo of the homework and send it to her, then she can show the teacher? As long as it's readable on the phone. Teacher might find it funny, but even if it's not the best it does prove that she did it!

Unless they were constantly forgetting, I wouldn't refuse on the basis that they need to "learn their lesson".

I honestly think that's a bit patronising to the child and not a helpful way of parenting.

I'd expect them to remember most of the time, but we all forget things occasionally.

It would be no different to if DH/ a friend/ other family member asked me for a favour. I would only refuse if I couldn't for some reason, e.g. if I was working or it was inconvenient.

All depends on situation. You decide.