12 year old forgot homework, aibu to want to drop it into the school?

Depending on her diagnosis

@unicornpower "The school I work at (grammar) won’t allow parents to drop things off unless it’s medication. It’s a firm no and even if they turn up we have to turn them away at the gate"

Well if it's a grammar......🤣

I have dropped many things for dd over the years. She has ASD and organization is a challenge. As she has gotten older, the frequency has decreased, despite my willingness to help when needed.

her school has an easy system for this because it is so common. We just drop the items in the atrium with their name attached and then the student has to come collect during whatever break they might have. That process helps keep it a bit onerous for the student. The exception is when dd forgets her inhaler, which thankfully hasn’t happened in a long time. Those they call her immediately and I hand off directly.

My head says no, how will she ever learn.

However, I would do it in a heartbeat if it was my DC and it meant she would get in trouble.

This

Because they haven't asked for it by email and it just creates extra work. Teachers are snowed under. There's really no point. It's not the end of the world.

Ours is a (comparatively) small rural high school. Huge by our primary standards. If a child forgets something they’ll keep it at reception for them to collect at a break

I was prepared to give mine a free pass a couple of times a term for this kind of thing. Usually it was sports kit. I could easily bring it to them so I did.

God, I forget things quite often, despite being reasonably efficient and being good at my job. I think it's fine to help her out. Helping someone out is a life lesson as well.

If

I drop things of the kids forget them. It's rare and as long as I am able I would rather they have what they need.

The school I work at (grammar) won’t allow parents to drop things off unless it’s medication. It’s a firm no and even if they turn up we have to turn them away at the gate

We would drop anything she needs off, and the round trip takes upwards of an hour.

Any time, anything she needed.

She is completely aware of this.

Despite this, it happens once in a blue moon.

So I completely disagree, based on our experience, that doing it will make children just never bother to remember anything. It’s a mental safety net, so that if she does forget something, she knows she’s got our backup. That’s what I believe parenting is about…them always knowing someone has their back.

I would. Bit mean not to.

Me too.

If my kid wasn't making any effort I'd rethink, but while they are trying their best I think it's good to help.

I've forgotten the odd thing the odd time myself. It's a rare occurrence but has happened.

I don't think my mum would have brought mine in, even if she could.
She wasn't able to drive and if even if she was off work, it was two buses to get to school and two back, so I'd be on my own!

Not only would I do it for my DS, I have done it for his friend who lift shares with us. And another mum in that group has helped ds out when he left something at home. If they are generally good at putting the effort in, a bit of help to show you value them not getting a detention supports the need to be ready for lessons, not undermines it imo

This. Everyone can make a mistake, and it's important - as well as learning to take responsibility - to learn that people are there for you when things go wrong.

I drop things in to ds if I'm able to do so. I also don't make a big deal of it if he forgets something, he's human.

Imagine your partner had forgotten something work related of equivalent importance. Would you drop it off? Go with that.

I often think we sometimes hold kids to higher behavioural standards (and punishments) than we expect from adults. May be it’s linked to focusing learning on kids rather than expecting it throughout life.

If we focus on how we’d like to be treated in that situation it can help.

well, a viable alternative to a scanner, and next best thing, is a decent photo taken on a phone camera, which most people are able to take? as a one off short term solution to let the teacher know it is done I don't think it's the end of the world to do such a thing.

as a one off, short term solution, to let the teacher know the child has completed it I really don't see the problem. There's no reason the child can't bring the hard copy in the next day.

I once refused to drop off forgotten swim kit. Turned out DS's House didn't have enough people to enter the House swimming competition as a result.
I have never forgiven myself for letting down a quarter of the entire school (even though it was a 80 minute round trip to drop it off).

Would you want someone to bring you something you'd forgotten if they could? If so then yes, take it to her. She might worry about it all day if not.

I struggle to get out with everything I need at 36, my DH is the bringer of forgotten things.