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Original poster

Being kind

35 replies

Flute56 · 15/11/2024 07:58

Someone was recently very kind to me for a few days and I want to show my gratitude by repaying kindness back and I have suggested that to themn but they said it's not necessary I feel bad is there anything I can do to persuade them to change their minds. I was in a situation once where I didn't show enough gratitude and the person complained so this time I want to do the right thing but this person won't let me and he advice

OP posts:
Original poster
Flute56 · 15/11/2024 08:53

When I went to stay with a relative a few years ago I thanked them by buying them a couple of feels and clean their house and taking the dog for a daily walk I'm taking their daughter to school and they said to me that that wasn't good enough I should have done a lot more and then when my visit to them was over they said they didn't want to hear from me again and we haven't spoken since because they thought I was too selfish. I even gave them flowers and they thought the flowers should have been better and bigger

OP posts:
SensibleSigma · 15/11/2024 08:28

I think you need to make sure you being kind in return isn’t trapping Them into making more effort- for example visiting for a tour is lovely but commits them to spending more time in your area.

Something like a cake through the post, or a thank you card, can be received with no effort from the recipient.

If someone wanted to delight and surprise me, a treat that arrived on my doorstep would be the way to do it.

Mummyratbag · 15/11/2024 08:27

If you have thanked them and bought them dinner I would think that was enough. Perhaps just be there for them if needed in the future.

Original poster
Flute56 · 15/11/2024 08:24

I did buy them dinner but they dont live near me so i suggested next ttime when they are near i could gove them a tour of my home town as they did ask what it was like but they said that was not mecessary. I guess if they were really interested in seeing where i live they would say thanks id love to see where you live

OP posts:
ViciousCurrentBun · 15/11/2024 08:23

I would say true kindness or help expects nothing in return.

SmolTrashPanda · 15/11/2024 08:14

If someone asked me whether they could return a kindness I'd shown them I'd say no because I would've done it with no expectation. However, if they took it upon themselves to send me something, I'd be delighted. Unless you know they'd be upset for whatever reason, just do it. They'll most likely be made up.

Mercurial123 · 15/11/2024 08:12

Why do you need advice? Just give them flowers, chocolates, wine etc. It doesn't require that much thought. It's a gesture, nothing complicated.

Mummyratbag · 15/11/2024 08:11

Cook them a meal? Take them out somewhere? Flowers? Chocolates?

Original poster
Flute56 · 15/11/2024 08:04

Any advice

OP posts:
Mummyratbag · 15/11/2024 08:00

Don't suggest just do it.

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