To expect friends to message to say happy birthday to my LG?

I understand how you must be feeling OP and the people who are saying that you're being ridiculous etc are undermining your valid feelings. You're allowed to feel whatever you feel and we're all, thankfully, different!
For me personally, sometimes one person will message in a WhatsApp group (the organised one!) and then others will follow to say Happy birthday, so I guess nobody remembered due to being busy/forgetful/whatever and nothing malicious.
I'd probably post a photo of your daughter with her cake or whatever and then move on.

I barely remember my own niece's and nephew's birthdays, let alone a child who is not family!! Be more realistic, OP. Your daughter means the world to you, but not to everyone else.

Post a birthday pic of her in there.

Don’t put a “breezy” message about her birthday I’m cringing for all the people suggesting that. That’s just attention seeking behaviour

It seemed none of the other children needed prompts to be remembered, so why mine.

What happens in reality with these social media/WhatsApp things is that one person remembers and everyone else follows suit. It’s not like receiving cards, which is proof that, individually, someone has remembered and acknowledged your birthday. I bet if you looked you see that it was the same one or two people who’ve started these chains of congratulation; some people have a really good memory for dates and birthdays and others just don’t (I had to tell my uncle when my cousin’s birthday was, for example. Not that he doesn’t love him hugely, but his late wife dealt with all such things and he only ever has a vague idea of such dates!). So - I bet that what’s happened here is one of the people with the good memory had a bad day at work, or a row with her DH - or something that meant she just wasn’t “on it”. And then the others weren’t prompted like before,

a rather long post to get to a conclusion of “I wouldn’t dwell on it too much”, but I really think you should let this one go if they are good friends generally.

It’s not about your daughter though is it, she’s 2. You’re miffed that the others didn’t remember you

sensitive soul seems to mean a little bit hard work. Let this go and try not to be so affected by things that don’t really matter in the long run - you barely see these people and everyone has busy lives

Your child is your world and of course you want everyone to celebrate her birthday . But the reality is she is not theirs and the fact is they forgot . Just put up a breezy message saying she had a lovely birthday and you all day a great day .
I'm sure the belated good wishes will come her way .

Maybe the ones who messaged for other children's birthdays have friendships outside of the group.

It might just be that they see more of each other and are a greater presence in each other's lives.

This is total nonsense.

What was stopping you posting in the group a photo of your daughter’s birthday? Then everyone could have sent the birthday wishes you apparently so desperately need.

Honestly all this “my daughter deserves better” “it made me feel bad as a mum” is total bollocks. Your daughter has no clue about any of this, and what have birthday wishes got to do with being a mum?

Leave the group for the other women’s sanity. You are far too much.

Send the pic with the cake and drop a note in the group saying something to the effect of 'Can't believe our little ones are already two! We didn't have a party this year but would love you to join us for tea, cake and a play on XXXXX if you are free. It would be fun to get all of our families together'. Or don't. But you can't expect support if you don't put effort in beyond texting.

I hope you all had a lovely day for DD birthday. She won’t have noticed the lack of interest from the group, but it has clearly hurt your feelings and it’s ok to feel like that.

Do you feel it was because they just forgot or is it part of a bigger picture with this group of mums where you generally feel a bit left out despite your best efforts to be a thoughtful and good friend?

Agree. Great advice.

This.

This. It's completely ridiculous.

Remember that your child is not affected by this in any way.

You could have a million people saying it to you and it would still make absolutely no difference to her life.

It’s not about her deserving better because she’s not impacted by this at all.

I understand why you are hurt because you make the effort for them and it’s not reciprocated but remember it’s no reflection on your DD and they wouldn’t have done it out of malice.

Next time if this is something that will make you happy, put on there that DD is 3 today and you will likely get happy birthday replies.

Happy birthday to your DD. I hope she had a lovely day 💐

I couldn't get worked up over this and I find your comment about your daughter 'deserving better' a little strange tbh

Me too- deserve better, from people you only see twice a year? 😳

I would feel as you do OP and it would make me feel differently about the others in the group.
But it is as it is.
The most important thing is that your child is blissfully unaware and the fact you love her is what is the important thing in her life.
All you can do is try and work on yourself not to react negatively to other people's thoughtlessness. I know it's easier said than done.

I don’t remember any of my friends’ kids’ birthdays. It was my birthday last week and even some of my family members didn’t remember. We have a family group with about 20 members of various degree of distance of relationships and I noticed that nobody from my own generation gets messages on there - not me or any of my cousins but the older family members remember each-other’s birthdays. My aunt sent me a message a day later, someone must have reminded her 😅. And that’s my own family who are very very close and dear to me. And I don’t care. Your little girl who “deserves better” won’t care about strangers not remembering her birthday, nor she will have any awareness of it at her age.

You know all of their children's birthdays? That's a mad set up. You only meet twice a year, you'll drift apart soon enough.

I'm in a local WhatsApp group of 15 local mums who've known each other since our children were babies at Book Bug and the like. We all see each other (not as a whole group but in mixed groups/pairs etc) every single week, often multiple times a week and go on large group nights out a few times a year. Still no one is remembering all the birthdays now that the kids are 3,4,5 etc.

I couldn't get worked up over this and I find your comment about your daughter 'deserving better' a little strange tbh.

I have a LOT of friends with children and I can rarely remember their birthdays. Family? Yes. But friends, no. I wouldn't expect them to remember my son's birthday either.

Do you know the exact dates of each of their children’s birthdays? I know I don’t know any apart from one of ours and the only reason I remember to wish happy birthday to their children is because they post about it on FB or another one of the group says it first. Your daughter ‘deserve better’ - she has no idea. Leaving the group would be a huge overreaction unless they are unkind, leave you out or just generally you don’t like them. Reposting on FB solely so one of them wishes her a happy birthday is a little strange…

Agree with others - you are way overthinking this. I dont know the exact date of my friend's kids birthdays because there are so many of them now. I dont expect them to remember my children's birthdays either. I adore my friends and we are all very close- noone gets upset or outraged by it. It's no big deal.

My son's birthday is on Christmas Day and literally noone remembers that because they are all so caught up in their own christmases. It doesnt matter because we make a big deal of it so he isnt missing out.

She's 2- it doesnt affect her in any way. Accept that this is actually about your feelings and whilst it's fine to maybe feel a bit miffed, if they are otherwise kind and caring it would be silly to leave the group due to this. Its petty.

Is it usually you who remembers to start the happy birthday messages, and then everyone joins in?

I love my friends but only have a rough idea of when their DCs' birthdays are 😬

I understand it must feel hurtful but if you generally find the group supportive then I'd let it go.

The same happen with my son's first birthday, he was the last born in the group and probably a bit too close to the holiday. I was a bit meh on the day, but if I'm honest have no idea when their babies were born 😅(I could probably deduct a 2 weeks window if I tried!)