To expect friends to message to say happy birthday to my LG?

That's all fine, except why was only OP's child forgotten? Think it is a fair question and doesn't need therapy ffs. Don' be harsh if you are going to be apologising 2 sentences later for being harsh. I suppose you are one of those ones who 'tell it like it is' 😁

Honestly, I think you either have extreme pregnancy hormones or you need to seek therapy.
getting wound up over this to the point of wanting to leave the group is wild to me. If you want people to remember, give them a reason to. People have busy and complex lives, that don’t revolve around you.
Sorry to be harsh, but it’s a bugbear of mine.

Jeez I am only vaguely aware when it's a friend's kids birthday - even my bestie I only know the month! They just forgot.

Why, she can't read ot or understand it.
If you have a party that would be different, she would get a present and a card.
2, she can't even understand it or read it.

Your daughter couldn’t care less if some random adults she doesn’t really know are wishing her birthday via text.

You’re making this about your feelings not hers.

she cares about waking up with her family and them making a fuss and then her nursery friends and carers doing the same.

NCT often fall away after 1YO and it's about the mum's more than the kids. Life is hectic and kids are all consuming. I wouldn't consider NCT core friends just mumma mates. Close family yes (best friends, fairy godmother yes disappointed) but it says nothing about you as a mum or children and try and be kind to yourself and let it go.

It's not actually about your daughter though, this is about you. You're the one offended and upset and wondering why your child was forgotten- that's your own insecurities.

People are busy, they don't remember everything and your child won't know any different or give a shit whether they remember her birthday or not!

If you're worried they don't like you enough to send a message to your toddler, leave the group.

Or just send a photo of her birthday cake/outfit/presents/day and say "X's birthday cake, she loved it" and that'll prompt them to wish her happy birthday.

You need to not be this bothered though, it'll only get worse as she gets older- people are too busy with their own lives to keep track of yours!

I’d gave added to the group something along the lines of “Wow, can’t believe little *** has turned two today, where has time gone?” 🙂

Match their energy.

Somethibg like remembering kids birthdays was always gong to be dropped people are too busy. If you want then to enjoy celebrating invite them to a party with their dc.

Are you saying you suspect or know others have branched off and developed deeper friendships, and therefore will remember each other’s child’s birthdays?

That is also natural in a group, and it’s up to you to decide if this group still works for you, if you don’t feel valued or heard, I would quietly leave if that’s the case, the group may have run its course.

I don't think your little girl will care.

And I don't think you should care either.

Perhaps just don't bother with these people?

Yup this, theres always one, I hadn’t realised it was me. If that person forgets no-one else will remember because honestly no-one has your kids birthday in their calendar.

I realised that on a group whatsapp I was the one who always messaged with a congrats or a “thank you for the birthday party dc had a fabulous time” first. I only noticed when no-one said thanks for my own DC’s birthday. I was a bit perplexed then realised it’s because no-one does it unless I say thank you first and kick it off.

Could it be this OP? Are you the one who messages first?

Honestly lower your expectations but maintain your standards when it comes to this kind of thing. People don’t always remember stuff, I can’t remember anyone’s birthday at all but will make a mental note when someone says one is coming up. But it’s really not personal.

Your little girl deserves better? At 2 she’s not aware of people she doesn’t really know sending you a text message. Come on op, kindly, get a grip.

Hopefully you’re not feeling so low about this as it’s been a couple of days since you first posted but I just wanted to say I totally understand why this would sting, and I think some people have been a little unfair. I had a similar thing with one of my friendship groups this year. They all forgot my birthday and my baby’s 1st birthday but wished everyone else and their babies a happy birthday earlier in the year.

It did hurt but I had to remind myself that they were probably busy and I know some of them don’t place much importance on birthdays at all (even first ones apparently). I sent a photo in our group chat of my LO eating cake, just to share a little update as we don’t get to see each other very often, and they then asked about the day and sent birthday wishes.

My brother, sister in law and best friend also didn’t message so I think some people just don’t think it’s necessary, though I’m a sensitive soul like you and would always wish someone or their LO a happy birthday!

Everyone’s different so try not to take it to heart :)

P E double T Y

*it's my little girl she deserves better

gently , your little girl won’t know or care whether they wish her happy birthday

You might find it helpful to read up on ‘ the five languages of love’. Different people show that they care in different ways. If your language of love is that you want people to remember birthdays and send messages because that is what is important to you and is how you show you care, then you might find yourself regularly disappointed.
If you acknowledge that other people show they care in different ways then you will find life much easier.
I don’t care two hoots if people remember my birthday and I am equally shit at remembering theirs. I do love them, do nice things for them and care about them. I just don’t register dates.
A little while after learning about the idea of the different languages of love I realised that my mother-in-law coming and cleaning my house was actually her showing she cared rather than her being judgemental. Life got much easier between us! It took me hearing her talking about her sister. She had gone and cleaned her fridge when she was ill. It dawned on me that it was just what she did for people when she saw they were struggling and she knew I had small children.She loved her sister dearly and spoke highly of her. She certainly didn’t judge her. She doesn’t judge me either. She is just really good at cleaning and quite enjoys it.
it is amazing how changing your perspective can change your happiness at all sorts of relationships.

In a group like that there is usually one person who is good at remembering the dates and everyone else chimes in.

Don't take it to heart. Pop up a birthday pic & say LO 2 today - doesn't time fly. All our babies are growing up.

What is LG?

Honestly don't sweat it. My DC turned 5 recently and me and the amazing women I was very close to during pregnancy and baby days keep in touch, a few messages a month. We send a happy birthday roughly on the right week, and there's only three of us. My best friends and I regularly forget and send the message after the fact. It's fine! If you otherwise like and support each other, dates are just dates to your friends.

@Nellie1027 I understand why you’re sad. I would be.

These are people who you thought you had a special bond with because of having your kids. So, all their birthdays will be at a similar time and it’s kind and thoughtful to remember them. And if they’ve messaged about others, it must make you sad no one’s remembered what day your child was born, even though it’s not malicious.

I’m surprised how thoughtless some people can be these days. They don’t seem bothered. Sure, life’s busy with a toddler. But letting people know you’re thinking about them on special days are what keep friendships going over decades, through all the stages of life. When you get older and face relationship struggles and other v personal stuff, friends who are less involved with your life can be a great support.

Sounds like you need to focus on friends who are as thoughtful as you. I was never in NCT. But mates of mine who had kids at a similar time as me always send cards and/or little messages on their birthday and so do I. Now our kids are much older, we don’t meet up very often. Friendships wax and wane. But we still let each other know we’re thinking of each other on the day our kids were born. It’s a lovely feeling to know people are there for you.

I guess some WhatsApp groups are pretty superficial.

NCT is a support group for a special, vulnerable, scary, hormonal time in life, we take out and put in what we can mentally and it’s fantastic- but it’s transient in most cases. It’s unique and invaluable for that time in your life, but once people have found their feet and new routines, most people drift away. Their heads are full of of their own needs, it’s normal. Do you know the birthday of every child in your NCT group? You shouldn’t really and that’s fine.

Do you mean other people post first or does the parent says my Lo is 2?

YABU to care what NCT mums do. YANBU to think its a bit off if they do it for every other child.

Most in the group probably don't care less about you or the majority of others in the group. By 2 years they'll have established other 'mum friends' and the NCT group is just a bit of an extra obligation. It'll fade out within a year by the sound of it. I'd move on and establish some real friendships.

Happy Birthday to your DD!