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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a romantic view of life as a SAHM?

139 replies

ConfusedMummy12 · 14/11/2024 21:35

I'm really struggling with my time management. I work school hours from home. I make a very easy meal in my lunch break, which I have for lunch and then we all have for dinner.
Otherwise, I work while kids are in school.
Do the basics housework (clean kitchen, laundry etc) when they get home.
And we split the rest of the housework between us evenings and weekends and have a cleaner 2 hrs a week.

AIBU to really want a break and be a SAHM for a while? I have this romantic notion that I'll actually get to do some yoga or swimming or something regularly, read a book, cook a wider variety of meals, clean the house myself while the kids are in school and actually be present with them when they get home, get on top of the backlog of decluttering and repainting etc, use weekends to visit family, etc.

Money would be tight, but I think we could manage...and if we don't I have enough savings to cover the time it would take to job hunt for something else...but I'm worried I'm being too optimistic about the grass being greener on the other side.

OP posts:
Ihatemondays1962 · 14/11/2024 21:44

Sockss · 14/11/2024 21:38

Is there a compromise such as getting a cleaner?

It says in the post they already have a cleaner.

wombpaloumbpa · 14/11/2024 21:44

Chowtime · 14/11/2024 21:39

Im all for staying at home but even I wouldn't give up a working from home during school hours job.

Yes this does sound amazing , I'd love to find one

ArabellaFishwife · 14/11/2024 21:44

Yoga and swimming ain't free. And unless you're reeeally into cleaning, being responsible for all domestic tasks gets very old, very quickly. Are you ready to be taken for granted?

wombpaloumbpa · 14/11/2024 21:43

I've done it for 3 years and I've just been offered a job so will be going back soon.
It's been amazing getting all the things done like painting and organising the house. I've still had my 3 year old with me at home until 2 months when he started preschool 3 days a week, so not done much swimming etc.
I definitely feel I've got more of a handle on house work and meal planning etc than I ever had before. I've done a lot of upcycling and spent precious time with my son.
However there are days when I've felt pretty lonely. There's not often anyone else about to have play dates with as most mums work.
I'm feeling excited about returning to work but I will never regret taking this time out.

Olduser1234 · 14/11/2024 21:43

I am old OP. When I had young DS I knew barely anyone who worked full time ( mothers, not fathers). I did do the lion's share of the housework but it was so... easy? In my current job I come across youngsters ( in their thirties!) who are trying so hard but are so up against it ( housing costs etc.). It is so hard for you now and I wish I could advise how to make it better.

Shinyandnew1 · 14/11/2024 21:43

Yeah, I’d like to quit work and be at home instead. Not fair on DH though as I’m sure he would like to do that, too!

Original poster
ConfusedMummy12 · 14/11/2024 21:43

BuffaloCauliflower · 14/11/2024 21:42

I understand wanting more time for yourself and things other than work and the home, but is there a middle ground? Work 3 or 4 days instead of 5, have them do after school club for a could have days to give you a bit of afternoon time? A school hours at home job is hard to come by and you’d be unlikely to find something similar if you wanted to go back to work. Also think about things like your own pension and longer term savings not just bills now.

Yeh I think doing 4 days a week would actually really help me feel like I could reset

OP posts:
BuffaloCauliflower · 14/11/2024 21:42

I understand wanting more time for yourself and things other than work and the home, but is there a middle ground? Work 3 or 4 days instead of 5, have them do after school club for a could have days to give you a bit of afternoon time? A school hours at home job is hard to come by and you’d be unlikely to find something similar if you wanted to go back to work. Also think about things like your own pension and longer term savings not just bills now.

Original poster
ConfusedMummy12 · 14/11/2024 21:41

SlugsWon · 14/11/2024 21:39

What if your husband also wants to do yoga and read books while the kids are in school, what then?

I think (although perhaps I'm wrong) he'd have much more time to himself to relax too as I'd be doing all the cooking/cleaning

OP posts:
TTPDTS · 14/11/2024 21:40

I think the leisure time of cleaning / swimming etc would be ruined for me if money was so tight it was a worry.

Is your other half on board? I can imagine it would also be much less fun if they aren't happy with the idea either!

WFH during school hours sounds like it's a unicorn job, if you tried SAHM would you be able to get a similar role?

SlugsWon · 14/11/2024 21:39

What if your husband also wants to do yoga and read books while the kids are in school, what then?

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 14/11/2024 21:39

Money would be tight for your family but that's ok because you'd be able to go to yoga and read a book?

Chowtime · 14/11/2024 21:39

Im all for staying at home but even I wouldn't give up a working from home during school hours job.

Sockss · 14/11/2024 21:38

Is there a compromise such as getting a cleaner?