To have a romantic view of life as a SAHM?

I would spend your lunch break doing yoga, reading etc, not cooking a meal. Do that at dinner time when your DC are home, and make sure you have a repertoire of straightforward meals for weekdays. How many other chores do you have after work. It sounds like you never have time for anything else, but I think I would do if I finished work at 3.30 everyday.

All I can say is hang in there if you can.

It does get easier and when the kids get to high school you will love it, and the time and headspace to look after yourself will come back to you.

Obviously if it's affecting your mental health then look at your options but unless you hate your work you are in an enviable position.

I am a sahm of school/nursery age dcs and I'm pretty happy with it. I have time to do exercise, socialising and hobbies during the day, and do chores/errands/DIY during the day so that evening and weekend time can be focused on the dcs for homework, play, extracurriculars etc. Weekends are purely leisure time. School holidays are spent ferrying the dcs to days out and holiday camps. I don't feel lonely as I like my own company, and I do some organised hobbies with a social side during the day. I don't have any plans to get a job as dcs get older, but I will probably develop my hobbies and take on more commitment.

For us, finances aren't tight so there's no compromise. And a proportion of our income is passive which was generated by me, so there's no resentment or sense that I'm not pulling my weight, and I would be financially secure if DH and I split.

I expect the OP probably already knows whether her dh would be likely to want to do that, since she's married to him.

I think you should sub-contract more cleaning/drudge work first.

When I went back to work after 7 years as a SAHM (and they were wonderful years), I was: running Sunday School, Chair of the PTA, helping a friend with their business plan and helping a charity. I well recall DH saying, "you're flat out all the time they are at school, you'd be better off getting a job".

Please don't give up a job that works right now. We are inches away from a dreadful recession. It may be harder than you imagine to get anither ĝ

It allows you to do all the other stuff while the children are at school so when they are home they have your time and attention.
I know it's an unfashionable view but I suspect most women who work full time do it because they have to, not because they prefer it.
We all manage to feel guilty whatever we do.

If OP is only working school hours and her children are in school, I don't understand how giving up work will increase her time with her family unless she's going to home school them.

Not the point at all I know but do you eat the same meal for lunch and dinner everyday?

I'd go part time if I could in your shoes. 5 days a week seems like a lot of time to kill with less money. I'm currently a SAHM to a pre schooler who only attends pre school for 1 day and 2 mornings but I can see myself getting bored very quickly with 5 days at home on my own.

This is very un mumsnet of me but yes, being at home with your young family will immeasurably improve your life. The purpose of life is to love and enjoy your family, not slave and kill yourself saving for a week abroad next year and a new car. And I do think the best person to be at home is generally the woman.

Ah, OP. I feel so sorry for you. My career kinda did suffer because of my DC but I personally wouldn't change it. Strange as it is, I still seem to have stuff to deal with each day ( admin, pets, DC still, DParents now) even though DC has left home. My only advice - do what suits you and don't feel you're doing anything wrong. ( I feel I'm not doing enough, but one has to be realistic...) It's not easy and I wish you the best!

I think it’s a huge win to do school hours if you only have school age kids. If you have any toddlers or pre schoolers then I think SAHM is more useful

When I was in my 20s very, very few women that I knew went back to work full time.
I went back 2 days a week. DH worked long hours and so I did pretty much everything.
It suited me. I kept a foot in the workplace but had time for the children. It never crossed my mind to consider whether other people would disapprove.

I've the same work set up as you and dropped to a 4 day week and it has made all the difference. I would try that first if you can because as everyone has said jobs like that are very hard to come across if you do decide to go back to work.

In your shoes I would go down to 3/4 days and have the 4th/5th day to get your cleaning done or whatever else you want.

@ConfusedMummy12 I’m with you, I want to do this too, I’m currently to part time and will not be increasing my hours once our child is at school.

I will keep a day for housework and one for me.

4 days ... Do it ;)

I think there's something in the saying "If you need something doing, ask a busy person". I don't know about you, but I am pretty sure I would squander the SAHM time if I had it. This is not to sound harsh (because I am the same), but if you struggle with time management with a WFH school hours job, you might find that the same tasks expand to fill the increased time available. Or that you spend all day reading and still don't get round to making a fabulous dinner!