To have a romantic view of life as a SAHM?

My set up is pretty much identical to yours. As far as I'm concerned, there's not a chance in hell I'd give up my flexible, school hours wfh position. It's basically the holy grail of working parent roles. Yes obviously being a parent and working is stressful and hard but that's just life. If you can give up a day that might give you the balance you need.

Why can’t you give your children attention after school if you only work school hours ?

How old are the kids and do you have an active partner? I work FT from home and manage the things you're wanting to do. DH does most of the laundry through the week so ignore that (he works FT too), we have a cleaner so don't have to worry about that, I go out to my hobby and exercise classes (including yoga) 4 times a week in the evenings when DH is clearing up after dinner (that I've made, I cook from scratch every day usually 5.30-6 when DH is collecting DS). I'm in when eldest gets in from school so he's not a latch key kid. Weekends are family time.

I will go for a walk at lunch time. Oh and food shop online!

I did do the lion's share of the housework but it was so... easy?

Would you mind elaborating on this, please? My mum made it look easy too but I am struggling to keep up with everything, especially laundry, now that I have children.

What has changed? I feel like if I knew, I could fix it.

How can you be surprised that 9-3, 38 or so weeks a year, isn't what most professionals are able to do?

You work school hours from home, will you find a job that will benefit you more than that?

suggest getting a cleaner? Or the kids involved with the tasks so it’s quicker and something you do together while chatting.

Because of the yoga, reading comments it sounds like you don’t actually want to be a SAHM you just need to off the mental load a bit

I completely get where you’re coming from OP. I went back to work when DS was 11 months and was the only one of my group of ‘mum friends’ who was working. It was tough, they all seemed to be having lovely chilled days going to playgroups and drinking coffee. Now all of our kids have started Reception they are all getting bored and are struggling to find suitable jobs that they can do around the school run. Because they were always the default parent their partners seem to think that they will continue to do all of the housework, be responsible for everything child-related etc, I think it’s just become the norm.
I have quite a stressful job and still have days where I fantasise about packing it in BUT I work 3 days (all on site), term time only. So I have 2 days a week where I can work out, do stuff around the house, see friends etc. while DS is at school . If you have the option of going down to 3 or 4 days then do it, honestly it’s the best of both worlds!

I have worked full time, part time and now not at all. We have earned (and spent) a lot of money. I was made redundant during Covid and haven't worked since. Our life albeit with less money is the best it has been. We have time, which is a very much underrated commodity.

When we both worked full time and had children at school we had so little time and spent money without considering it. Our lives were quite superficial really. Now I have time to consider spending. Our lives are more authentic and I can tell you the
Price of everything. Before I didn't have a clue, shopping was a trolley dash.

I know not working isn't a possibility for everyone and we are fortunate that it is for us but I think it's always worth thinking about.

After my STBXH having an affair and leaving 2 years ago, I'm glad I always kept my career. No one ever thought he would do this and I would never advocate putting yourself in a position where you are completely reliant on another person's income. I'm a single mum with a full time, full on job. Kids stay with their dad once a fortnight for one night. I manage to juggle stuff. It's just about being organised. I hated being part time when I did it for a year though so I'm just the kind of person who likes to be on the go. I definitely wouldn't give up a school hours WFH job. Sounds like a perfect compromise you have at the moment

I mean sure, everyone would prefer to not work but no I would not quit at the expense of my partner who would have to cover all costs..
You also make yourself vulnerable in future, so no.
Take some unpaid leave to catch up on stuff if you feel you need to.

I did the same after reading something on here about how working school hours is the worst of both worlds and it has made life so much better! A whole day off means I achieve so much more, a much better balance.

I agree with others, you have a unicorn job and (assuming you actually enjoy it and aren’t seeking another job) need to think before you give it up.

lower standards
easier lunch / batch cooking 1-2ice a week so you can have a walk or do a yoga class
dh to have children solo for a bit of the weekend so you can do a class

I meet a lot of women age 40-50 whose kids are a little older and who now want to work again having been SAHM. It’s not easy, even for very bright women. And it erodes self esteem for many too.

Oh my god op i’d kill for your job and a cleaner- do you want to swap?!😅

I wouldn't. Money being tight over a long period of time kind of gets boring very fast.

Well yeah we'd all love leisure time but someone has to earn the money.

Can you make smaller changes

• get a robot hoover
• have the cleaner twice a week
• reduce hours

Giving up a school hours job feels extreme if your kids are already school age before long it won't be you they won't after school it will be their friends.

Going part time is the answer. I did that for 10yrs as I had a serious health issue and a single parent to young kids. It meant that I could pick them up from school, have play dates and do all the cleaning on those days, plus some things for myself. It helped me get through that time. I had a major surgery in 2017 and then went back full time in 2018 and worked hard and got a promotion 2yrs ago. I still have a good pension and obviously had a job I could then up my hours in. Mine wasn’t because I wanted to be a SAHM though, that is something I never wanted to do but it was great being able to work part time for those years. I am considering some voluntary top up pension contributions to balance out those part time years but not right now. If you do give up your job, make sure your family income stretches to pay into a pension for you too.

Being a SAHM can be very boring (let’s be honest). You need to know other people who are doing it and you need to have enough money to be able to go to classes or out for lunch or even out for coffee. I would suggest p/t or a four day week is a better option.

The small taste of being a SAHM I had on mat leave was deadly boring, and I resented being the default housework and cooking person. Ugh. I also hated not having my own money coming in, towards the end.

I now work condensed hours with one day off, and for me that's ideal. I spend that day rushing around doing everything I didn't get done in the week, get to pick my kid up from school and have some time together. And the cleaner comes. I don't sit around doing nothing because that wouldn't be fair.

Why would the OP be taken for granted?

OP I work part time two days a week.
My youngest has just started school and my DH is happy for me to continue part time as I take the bulk of household duties as he works very very long hours. I'm also happy to do this as I love my job but also love having a few days to potter around the house; read, exercise, meet friends, I do the majority of dit, plan meals etc after 8 years of child rearing and juggling everything. It really is a lovely balance and I'm enjoying this new phase of life even though I miss my little one but he's thriving at school.

Working part time means I get me time and to keep up my career that I worked very hard for, and still contribute to my pension too. I earn a decent salary for my two days still. Of course o could earn more if I upped my hours but we don't need the money and the slower pace works for us as a family.

I've also found our evenings and weekends are much more enjoyable as jobs are done during the week days so we all enjoy that time more as family time as there are no chores to be done.

Would you be able to work part time in your current role?

What do you do for a living and will that have moved on without you when you want to go back in a few years?

Bit hit on your pension.

Potential lack of respect from your husband (assume you are married? don't do it if not).

Need to be very clear from the start that everything coming in is family money and you both have equal access to it. Any hint of 'I'll give you an allowance' - scrap the idea.

I would up the cleaner’s hours and go swimming. It would be more cost effective and I would rather do my job than clean more.

You would need to think about things like your pension, family savings, whether you could find another job (especially a WFH, school hours job) if needed after an employment gap, etc.

It wouldn’t be for me and I definitely wouldn’t view being solely responsible for domestic chores romantic, but we all want different things! Is your partner on board? Would he have to give up certain lifestyle perks to fund it?

There is no wrong choice but I don’t necessarily think the romantic vision of reading and yoga is realistic. It will be a lot more cooking, cleaning, garden maintenance etc.