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AIBU?

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To be annoyed or need to calm down

109 replies

Redlorryyellowcar · 14/11/2024 19:56

I’m really really annoyed right now and I think I need to vent before I speak to my husband. I can’t tell if I’m tired and hangry or NBU

DC4 wanted to do a little family for my birthday (blow up some balloons, have a special drink and dance to the radio). My birthday was the other day and he’s been dying to have this party every day.

DH and DC bought some juice the other day for this. At 5pm DH comes down from WFH. I make the juice into a ‘cocktail’ with DC (fizzy water, straw, juice). DH lying on the sofa, I go over and pass him his drink, he meekly almost puts his arm out but then immediately puts it back to draping it almost on the floor and I say I’m passing you your drink and he says yes pass it to my hand (inches from the floor) and I’m like no put your arm out like a normal person. He refuses so I put it on the side table. DC tried to keep the peace and says here daddy and passes his drink right to his hand.
DH has form for this all the time, he says pass me the car keys and I put my arm out to him with the keys and he refuses to move his arm from next to his body and insists I pass the keys completely to his hand next to his thigh (no effort). Whenever I question this he says don’t be lazy. It’s the WEIRDEST thing. I hate it. It’s never changed.
anyway I said why are you being like this? Stop ruining the party?!
he ignores me. I say cheers to DC and DH and DH blanks me out and just cheers our son and completely freezes me out of the room.
I then lose my temper and say why are you always like this, why are you so rude and weird?!
and he’s saying stop losing your temper with me in front of our child, you’re upsetting our child.

he then goes upstairs and I have the ‘party’ with DC within DH and DC getting intermittently upset that daddy is missing the party and I scared him away.

I probably should have said nothing both times but it fcks me off that DH treats me this way in front of DC. Like I have to serve him drinks on my knees and also be completely happy to be frozen out of conversation.

i really think we need counselling.

anyway before I’ve posted this, DH came down to say sorry and I just got annoyed again and said why do you treat me like this and he had no real answer and he’s got fed up and walked off again and said there’s no point talking to me

OP posts:
Redlorryyellowcar · 14/11/2024 20:19

Dolly567 · 14/11/2024 20:17

Paranoid and controlling

Him or me?

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 14/11/2024 20:18

'Pass it to my hand' - what on earth?! OP that's really weird...

Dolly567 · 14/11/2024 20:17

Paranoid and controlling

Redlorryyellowcar · 14/11/2024 20:13

Ilikemymenlikeilikemycoffee · 14/11/2024 20:10

Why would you allow this?! Like repetitively?! Tell him to fuck himself! Your child witnessing this will think it’s ok.

I don’t allow it. I kick off but it’s not good for our child

OP posts:
Redlorryyellowcar · 14/11/2024 20:13

ManhattanPopcorn · 14/11/2024 20:05

How strange. That's not normal behavior and I'm not sure that counseling will fix it. Is he odd in other ways?

Yes he’s odd in other way but doesn’t see it.

Very upset about personal space. Will get irritated if I’m in the kitchen area when he is. He is tense if I open a drawer while he is on the other side of the kitchen as it’s in ‘his space’ and will often leave the kitchen if I’m using it and ask for me to notify when I’ve finished. also will ask me to stay out of the kitchen until he’s finished eg making eggs as he finds me being nearby ‘unnerving’
other sensory issues to do with loud noises eg fire alarms and the noise of tube trains

wont walk next to be on the pavement as my pass is unusually too fast and too slow and he finds it unnerving. Would prefer to walk ahead or walk behind me. Actively avoids going for a walk with me.

if I ask him a question ‘would you like a cup of tea’ sometimes he will snap and say you pepper me with overwhelming questions. You are too intense you always ask questions.

Sometimes I think he’s got autistic traits? He’s very charming and sociable at work but I think it could be a mask and when he’s at home he gives yo and that’s why he’s so horrible and tired all the time

OP posts:
Ilikemymenlikeilikemycoffee · 14/11/2024 20:10

Why would you allow this?! Like repetitively?! Tell him to fuck himself! Your child witnessing this will think it’s ok.

ManhattanPopcorn · 14/11/2024 20:05

How strange. That's not normal behavior and I'm not sure that counseling will fix it. Is he odd in other ways?

Wolfhat · 14/11/2024 20:04

That would make my blood boil. Absolutely counseling, good luck! And well done for standing up for yourself.

tillytoodles1 · 14/11/2024 20:01

Spoilt lazy fucker.

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