Colleague has taken a dislike to me, feeling uncomfortable at work

Just ignore her & carry on being nice & chatty to other people. I honestly can't see the point in calling her out on it. In any case do you actually want her as a friend?

I think you could look into moving seats in the office?

She's being really childish. I think it's nice if you can be friends with colleagues but I've not usually had people I socialise with from work.

This is why I dread going back to work. There is always one like this.

You just need to ignore her. It’s just a sad attempt at being queen bee.

Be a quiet observer. You might find someone who will become a friend and share an eye roll at the ridiculous behaviour. Give yourself a chance to settle in and see how the other employees take to her. But if in a few months you really feel the entire office is in a clique with her that you are left out of, and it’s causing you anxiety, leave. It’s not worth the stress.

One thing you must do is discreetly keep a record of every horrible interaction. If nothing else you have something to show them when you resign.

Please don’t suck up to her and try to be her friend. That just gives her more power. Be polite and only interact as required for work.

Hopefully a line manager notices what she is doing.

To be honest, she sounds like she likes shiny and new. These people are new, so she has moved on. If someone else starts, she most likely will move on to them.

If this job works for you then do not leave because of her. It is not you it's her. Just be professional and polite. You don't have to be friends with everyone.

So she's she's palled on with other co-workers, doesn't want to have a coffee with you, and she hasn't replied to a text...and you're asking if you should leave your job over this?

Maybe she thinks your boring? Maybe she's odd? Maybe she has much more in common with other people than you and prefers to spend her breaks with them?

Who cares, let alone thinks about quitting over it!

Sounds like she sees you as a threat or is jealous so is trying to form a clique. Sad and immature.

Very loud outgoing people are often insecure ime.

Give no headspace to her and focus on doing your job.

Stop focusing her.
Be polite to her. But keep interaction low.

Keep your efforts on the more positive work-friendships.

Not everyone is going to adore Miss Outgoing Personality. And if you step away from her, she's likely to find someone else to be disagreeable at.

She's not being kind to you. Ignore her nicely.

Leaving a job you’re otherwise happy in because of this silly woman would be ridiculous - there’s always at least one twat like this in any office. Just don’t give her the reaction she’s looking for and like most bullies, she’ll soon get fed up. Keep a written record of any bad behavior towards you though, and if it escalates speak to your manager. And as pp have said DO NOT make yourself smaller because of her (or anyone!)

Your colleagues behaviour towards you is the start of harassment.

I suggest that you start to make a list or log, just in case her behaviour escalates and becomes worse. Include dates, times ad details of the incident (s) in case it escalates and you need to notify your manager.

From what you are saying in your post, it seems like she has a bad attitude towards you, for reasons completely unknown to you. Chances are, you have done nothing wrong, some women are born wicked, are mean and nasty for no good reason. They are insecure, lack basic communication skills and are weak minded.

So you have to be the strong one here OP, you can do it and I'll tell you how.

It is good that you get on well with your other colleagues. To keep yourself in stronger position you need to cover yourself, work to your absolute best of your ability so that your work is exemplary so* *vinegar tits can not call you, blame any thing on you and target the quality of your work.

Your managers and colleagues will see you are a team player, a valued and important member of their team is a strong position to be in and they will back you up.

Remember, you have a right to defend yourself but don't retaliate because this could go against you and its what she may be trying to push you into.

If she steps out of line, log it and give your log to HR and your manager who should deal with her and her shameful behaviour should stop, immediately. I wish you the best and hope things improve.

Like a school bully, attempting to appease her will just make her worse. Just be light and pleasant but don't go out of your way. A brisk morning nod is sufficient. Don't try to talk to her and don't trail off after her group to have a coffee or whatever. If you try to tackle her about it, she won't suddenly have an epiphany that she has been an utter cow and start to be friendly to you. She is more likely to complain to your boss about you bullying her. Try to get friendly with one or two other co-workers, maybe the quieter ones. Suggest having coffee with them in the kitchen. Move seats if you want - who cares if it looks odd. I suspect that your co-workers don't really like this loud individual as much as you might think.

I'd ask what her problem was tbh

I don’t think this woman is doing anything wrong. She’s decided you’re not for her, and that’s fine. She can have coffee with whoever she likes.

As long as you maintain a working relationship, all is well - she does not need to be your friend, or even like you. Was the message you sent her at work or to her personal number? I would expect a reply at work, about work related matters, but nothing else.

Leaving a job because someone doesn’t like you seems very extreme!

When they go to the kitchen, can you just get up and join them? It might be nothing?

This equates to bullying. I'd either speak to the person or a manager you can't continue like this. Everyone has the right to feel comfortable in their workplace

Someone who treats people like she treats you is not someone you want as a work friend. Do not look for another job. Do not make yourself quieter or smaller when she is around. You sound considerate and sensible and I think you would know if you had done something to annoy her. If she doesn't like you then that is her problem - don't make it yours.

I agree that's there is no point in talking about it to her.

But it's not a personality clash, as one person is doing the clashing, and the other is not. That's why the OP is posting about it. Because it's making working life difficult.

As as for petty high school behaviour, yes of course it is, MissScarlet. Has it really just dawned on you?. And the OP is being an adult about it.

Your example of that man who cornered you was pointless, since he was bitching about everyone. The OP is being singled out.

I had a colleague who had a boss who was so nasty to her that in the end she had to leave her job.

I agree I would keep a diary of all the times it happens and then approach your manager, it’s bullying by exclusion, there is no point approaching her about it she will gaslight you and say it’s all in your head. Get your evidence and get her card marked by management.

Is there anyone there who can help support you? I think at work you just need one friend and once you have that friend you can put up with the others. First of all I would ask your boss if you can move seats. There's no way I would want to sit near her. You could even tell your boss that and say you'd rather sit next to someone who is more friendly.

There will always be someone that you don't really get on with in any workplace but it isn't a reason to quit unless you have a better job lined up.

Don't let it be a problem. Just you do you and chat to those you do like. Don't avoid her. If she wants to chat then fine but otherwise just talk to others and don't give it a second thought.

My boss is similar. She likes ignoring me then being super jolly with others but I just don't let it get to me and just get on with the job I love and be the bigger person. The other day I got there early yo a meeting and say down at a table. She then came in and sat on another table sp when others from the department arrived they sat with her and I was left on my own. But I'm a stubborn cow and was not gonna move so I stayed put then eventually I was joined by some lovely people.

What are you doing to support the who is being bullied?

Which means there is absolutely no point trying to talk to her about it.

Either it's a simple personality clash, in which case you aren't going to make someone like you by trying to talk to them about why they don't like you, or it's petty high school level behaviour, in which case the best approach is to rise above it and behave like an adult.

So, now we've circled all the way back round to the OP's original dilemma; her 'enemy' is being bitchy to her and behind her back - and the OP doesn't want it. She's asked for advice, and many posters have said, - don't speak to her- the enemy will very likely say, you're imagining things, or it's because of XYZ, or, as in your case, will deny it.

Yes well unfortunately I had good reasons for disliking him, namely the fact that he was a complete arsehole who started bitching about people behind their backs and trying to tell me how to do my job on day one. Talking about that didn't make the situation any better because he just denied that he was doing it.