Making dinner for my son's friend

If someone is in my house at a meal time, they get fed. It’s the law.

Bloody hell the pile on was a bit much. I can see why this is a bit annoying if it’s something the boys have just started doing and you’ve been swept up on it with no planning. Especially if there’s never any reciprocation.
Maybe just mention in passing to the dad when he picks up what they’ve eaten so you know he’s aware you’re feeding his son every week - as PPs have said I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s having another dinner at home! In fact, maybe they are both eating again when they get there. 😆
Boys (especially that age) probably wouldn’t even think about mentioning it to the other parents.
This thread did remind me of a post from a few weeks ago, I forget the actual thread info (I think it was about people being tight with food) but there was a comment on it from someone who was invited to a sleepover as a child, they were picked up straight from school (so obviously hadn’t eaten) and played for a bit with their friend, the hosts called their child down for dinner sneakily and didn’t feed the guest at all. Then when they woke up they didn’t give her breakfast either as they said she didn’t need it as she was going home. It made me cry, I was so sad for 9 year old her. 😞

I can’t work out if you’re being sarcastic or serious! 😂

No one ever reads posts properly it seems. The OP has to drive to the club anyway so the friends dad isn’t really doing her a favour. Feeding another child weekly is sometimes a bit much - we’ve got friends here 4/7 nights that we feed with barely any reciprocation so I get it. I would hope your child’s friends parents might have your child for dinner once in a while too?

If kids are in my house when mealtime hits then they get a plate of food, it's often something really simple like Mac n Cheese or a frozen pizza but there's generally something I can bulk out with extra sides or a bigger portion to feed extra people.

If you've agreed to have him after school and until after dinner then you've agreed to feed him, you can't leave him to sit with no food while everyone else eats.

I always fed any kid who was around for supper time.

In fact, for various reasons, once my DC were in their teens we often had as many as six boys in the house on Saturday nights - three per son. Huge trays of lasagne, pots of pasta - I fed them all. Such a lovely atmosphere in the house. They're all young men now and remember me with affection.

I think it would be lovely if you made him dinner every week. Doesn't have to be anything expensive. I think it's nice to have a good relationship with your DC's friends and make them 'part of the family'.

Yes I would (and often do) feed any of my children friends here at mealtimes. We have a few regulars before / after sports training and they eat with us as a family - I just make a bit extra, but we are very much a ‘more the merrier’ family. I always want my children’s friends to feel
welcome here as we live rurally on a farm and so it’s not like my kids can just walk themselves to friends houses or vice versa. I give lifts / do meals / sleepovers when needed, and their friends mums all do the same for my children.

But he clearly thinks it is. Most people would have just asked if the second ds can jump in the car. I doubt the Dad would have a problem with it.

Why everything has to be so miserable, it’s youth club night, why not make it pizza before youth club night or something, make life more exciting.

Just check the OP's posts, she's explained it. Not really a favour for her

imo it’s nice to include your sons pal and it’s not nice to exclude him

@TheMamaLife

That's lovely, and I completely agree. These things are so important and have such a positive impact on kids feeling a sense of belonging.

I would always offer to feed a guest if we were eating.

I'd just make it. DD and her friend used to come straight here after school one day a week before a joint activity. I just made them pasta in tomato sauce. Easy and no skin off my nose to put an extra portion of pasta in for the friend.

If the father didn't give your son a lift how would he get to the youth club? Would you have to take him? If so It sounds as though he is doing you and your son a favour by taking him to the friends house every week so they can walk to the youth club.
I would give him dinner as you say you are making it anyway.
Presumably if you didn't give him dinner he wouldn't have time to eat before going to the youth club? .

Yes i would make him dinner every week. We had s similar thing but they did every other week shared so one week he went to friends and she took them to football training, next it was at ours. Even if it was always at mine i’d have still made him dinner. Some pasta would do the job

Am I missing something here or did you say friends dad collects your son too and essentially takes him somewhere walking distance from youth club? This is doing you a service. You’d need to drive son there yourself otherwise. Least you can do is give the friend a bite to eat as ‘pay back’.

People take the piss these days and just assume things are ok and theyre entitled. Personally think you should send the friend home with an invoice for his/her parents to pay for the cost of the food and possibly a small amount of labour included also. That's the least they can do maybe speak to them and suggest you feed them one week and the parents fund a couple of kebabs or something the alternate weeks. To keep it all fair and happy.
Hope you get it sorted
Good luck 👍

Is dad offering some money to cover costs? If not, he's neglectful.

Just make the dinner.

I feed anyone whose at the house when I'm serving food, whether they are friends of mine, DH or DS, neighbours or even workmen it's just how I was brought up. I have had neighbours kids literally smell what's cooking and come ask to stay for dinner even when they aren't particularly good friends with my DS. I was always taught not to turn a hungry mouth away. When we grew up me and my best friend went between my house, my cousin's and hers, we got fed wherever we were didn't matter how many times what day it was etc. if we were there we ate, if we were still there at 8pm then we often slept their too and just sent a message home. So I would probably feed him regardless each time.

Which suggests you’re begrudging it. Otherwise you’d just feed him without feeling it was anomalous enough to post on the internet about it.

My parents never fed other children when we were little because they literally had nothing. Our food was barely adequate and declined towards payday. I always feed.

He's a teenage boy, there's a fairly high chance he's having a second dinner at home too.