Well - I know I am not BU, but posting here for traffic.
He does loads around the house. He is a skilled tradesman, and enjoys cooking.
But - he has chosen to cook. He has chosen to use his skills in the house.
I get no choice. I am left with the grotty cleaning because he won't do it.
He will push a vacuum round - that is not too emasculating
but he won't use the brush attachment to do the dusting while he is at it.
He will cook, using (it feels like) every utensil and pan in the kitchen, because men cook
but he won't wipe the counters, and definitely won't clean the sink
He will do the veg patch and mow the lawn
but won't touch the flowerbeds
He will take the black bin bags out front
but won't empty the small bins in each room
He will do the tyre pressures on my car
but won't sew a button on his trousers
He will shop for food for the meals he cooks
but won't buy breakfast cereal, let alone toothpaste or laundry stuff
You get the picture.
We need a proper sit down discussion and re-assignment of duties.
Do you know of any published lists of 'all household tasks and mental load'. I had a look at the Fair Play cards, but they are a bit heavy on children's stuff (no kids at home) and mental load, and only had one card for ALL cleaning.