A CF at a dinner party?

Yes she's a CF

Why did your sister drive. She had to go out of her way to collect and drop off sue as well.
I don’t think splitting costs is that bad in theory but the issue was that your sister drove just to save someone else money and missed out herself as a result.

The bill-splitting and the travel arrangements are separate issues. Sue was definitely being a CF when she tried to make her travel arrangements your sister's problem, which unfortunately worked. Your sister was planning to walk, but Sue made out that there was no earthly way that she could ever get there - can't walk, can't get a taxi, husband can't take her, doesn't drive at night. It beggars belief!

I wish your sis had reaffirmed that she was walking, and said that Sue would be welcome to show up at her door, and they walk that part of the way there and back together. And if Sue's husband couldn't get her from the midway point or Sue didn't want to spring for a taxi for half the journey, then 🤷‍♀️When Sue tried to make out that nothing short of aliens descending from the sky in their spaceship and offering her a lift would get her there, it's a pity your sis didn't have some handy phrases at the ready, like "Hmm, that's a conundrum, isn't it" or "That does sound difficult," instead of trying to come up with a solution to Sue's fake problem.

I bet Sue knew that your sis would offer to drive her. Massive CF.

I personally don't think it's noteworthy CF territory. I couldn't get worked up about the one drink per person part - especially if no history of cheeky fuckery or piss taking over bill splitting. Your dsis chose to drive, and therefore agreed to pick up Sue.

I personally wouldn't have. Your sister's choice was to do so therefore, she learnt that Sue is a bit of a chancer. Lesson learnt and no more lifts for Sue.

Your sister is a complete sap. Is Sue her boss or something? Your sister changed her whole evening (walk to the restaurant, have a few drinks with colleagues, walk home - to drive to the restaurant picking up Sue on the way, not drinking but having to pay for it anyway, drive home dropping Sue, who was able to have a few drinks thanks to your sister, on the way). Yes, Sue is a CF, but why on earth did your sister bend over so far for her? Has she always been such a chronic people pleaser?

Your sister needed to say something along the lines of - let's split the food, and you lot can pay for your drinks.

I'm assuming the restaurant didn't charge for water? If there was bottled water then your sister needed to pay for that.

But Sue sounds hard work overall, and your sister is nice!

Ooh Op I wonder if your sister is the less confrontational one because you've always had the loudest voice?
You've written rather a long post to try to prove you're right when it's your sister's business and up to her how she reacts.
She's entitled to be different to you....stop jumping all over her stuff.

If everyone had a starter, main, pudding and drink, then easier to split it equally. If some people didn't have starter, pudding or drinks, everyone should pay for themselves.
If this is a group your sister regularly easts out with, she is right and it will all work out over time. If they only go out once a year, it won't.

Either way, Sue should've bought (or at least offered to buy) your sister a drink or pay for her pudding or something to offset the lifts.

That’s brilliant! Not heard that before.

I wouldn’t be bothered, it’s so much easier to split the bill evenly then to have to fuck around because of my one non-drink.

These are really minor things. I really wouldn’t mind or think about it too much if I decided to do someone a favour and also ended up paying a bit more for dinner.

Splitting evenly is just a little easier than getting calculators out. I’m usually the non-drinker and tend to overpay a bit.

I’d say it’s thoughtless but not CFery.

Brilliant!

I don't think Sue is a CF because she just asked. Your sister could have said no to both.

I think unless everyone had the same price starter, same amount or bread, same price main course - you can’t speak up about people having one alcoholic drink versus water.

If your Sis did speak up then she may have been worried someone else would say ‘ok well I didn’t have a starter’ or ‘Sue had the steak which was £5 more than my pasta’. You either agree to all pay separately if you think there will be a big discrepancy or you all split.

The lift part was CFery but your sister should have just shared the taxi, had a few drinks and then there would have been no issues.

This! Whether Sue is a cheeky so, and so does not change that fact.

Why didn't sister order a mock tail or fancy soft drink to be equal cost to the others?

Makes things much more simple.

We split by the amount of people not what they've had, any other way is messy and tight.

i am a complete pushover and even I would have said “bugger that”. The extra drinks split would have added at least a tenner (ish) to the bill. Why didn’t the others say no? Or were they happy to take the p too?

If it was only one drink as the OP suggests, then I don't think the bill splitting is an issue.

I think Sue should have offered something to your DS for driving - either to buy her a drink or petrol money/paying for parking or turned up with a bunch of flowers for her to say thank you.

Sue is a CF and your sister needs to find her voice

The taxi thing is a separate issue, I think. Your DSis did a kind thing. But the rest is just the same old discussion about whether you split the bill or not. The consensus is usually that if everyone"s bill is roughly the same then why not split. It takes a lot of guts to stand up to this though - I've done it and been called a skinflint because I didn't want to subsidise other people's boozing.

I bloody love my friends. If I drive (I often do as I’m not too fussed about drinking and seem to be on call for work most times we go out), they buy my soft drinks and get the food bill and a separate drinks one which they split between the drinkers. It’s always the drinkers who suggest this.

I don’t think the bill splitting was massive CFery. The difference between different main choices could easily be the same as the cost of a pint of beer. A pint of Coke often isn’t much less than a pint of beer. It’s a pretty standard thing to do, anyone who isn’t happy with doing it that way, should speak up. I wouldn’t expect Sue to have paid attention to whether your DS was drinking water and ordered a salad or went for the steak, multiple sides and an expensive mocktail. Not drinking doesn’t necessarily mean a smaller bill.

The CFery is emotionally blackmailing your DS into driving. Ditto not offering petrol money or buying a thank you gift.