A CF at a dinner party?

Bloody hell, a thread about the equitable distribution of pennies, and not even the original poster's pennies, the pennies of someone who is not bothered! Get a hobby maybe?

Absolutely. They are chancers. They try it on. Some people say no, I'm not giving you a lift because I want to have a drink. And other people roll over and say yes, I'll not drink so that I can drive you all the way home when you live 10 mins further out than me.

People like Sue only get away with being a cf because other people allow it.

YABU. I think it's thoughtless certainly but not deliberate.

Your sister should never have offered to give Sue a lift if it meant she couldn’t have a couple of glasses of wine if she wanted, that’s on her and she needs to learn to be assertive. I’d have told her to get a taxi, the cost is not your sister's problem. But yes, Sue is a CF.

Sue is a CF and should have offered to pay a bit more & take it off sisters share as thanks for driving.

This!

Brilliant! Definitely stealing this! 🤣

I don't think Sue is a major CF & if your sister was OK about it all it's a moot point anyway.

Perhaps your sister could think on in future about people taking advantage though?

If someone went out of their way to pick me up & drop me off I'd offer to pay for their meal.

What does CF mean? I wish people would speak in English or at least , Mumsnet, give the meaning of abbreviations!

In this situation I would have put in the amount of money my meal cost plus a tip and then told the table to split the rest as I hadn’t had any drinks. Sue is CF on the lift saga but your sister is responsible for being put out at bill time.

I'm guessing that Sue wasn't really analysing the bill and the whys and wherefores. But she's a totally CF over the lift thing.

I'd have said initially 'but if I give you a lift, I won't be able to have a drink'. And at the end 'I've only had water because of having to give you a lift, so I'll just pay for my food.

Sue can drive but chooses not to at night. She ordered drinks but won't pay for a taxi.
Sue is a cheeky fucker and your sister needs to be careful that she doesn't become Sue's taxi driver on a regular basis.

Your sister sounds more of a pushover/people pleaser than a sweetheart, op.
I wouldn’t mind so much about the drink, but driving when she hadn’t planned to just because Sue didn’t want to walk is quite weird.

I think your sister is a lovely person who isn’t looking for everything to be exactly fair all the time and did a kind thing for Sue who may have all sorts of reasons for not walking alone. None of it makes her a doormat or needing to grow a backbone. She’s just a kind person . We need more like her.

The drinks thing (just one drink per person going on the collective bill) is fine. Sis not ordering a drink probably wasn't noticed. Not sure how many people were there but say 5 alcoholic drinks between 6 people, it doesn't add much to the bill split. My answer would be different if there had been multiple cocktails, bottles of wine and double brandies!

The lift thing is very cheeky. Sister should have stuck to her original plan "oh dear, no I'm definitely walking, see if your husband will change his mind so you can come". There are no prizes for giving in to CF sad faces, only the Wet Lettuce Tax (love that!)

Back to drinks, I do think Sue ought to have made some sort of gesture of appreciation like offering to buy sister a drink at the bar when they arrived, even if she declined. I bet she didn't.

Your sister paid for probably 7/8ths of a drink she didn't have? No big deal. Not CF, just the way things fell. As she says herself, it might her her ordering something more expensive or having a drink next time.

If it had been numerous shared bottles of wine between the group then yes, she'd have been taken advantage of. As she could have chosen herself to have had a single drink I don't think it was that much of a cheeky suggestion.

Sue's a chancer angling for a lift - I don't know why your sister went along with that. But that's the only rather cheeky part of things.

I don't think this is CF territory. Worse behaviour is neurotic bill splitting based on what a person had down to the bloody pence.

The lift thing is a bit wimpy on Sue's part, but your sister's choice to say yes or no. The bill-splitting - I don't think it's an issue. This is what my friends always do, because it evens out in the end. We'd never object if somone in the group said they wanted to pay their own because it was more expensive/less expensive, but usually, we just split five ways.

I've never heard of this before😂As a recovering wet lettuce who has probably paid tax more than a few times I find this hilarious and will be using it in the future!

The lift and the bill splitting have nothing to do with each other. The fact that Sue asked for a lift doesn't mean that she then shouldn't have suggested bill splitting because she was getting a lift.

I'm not sure Sue is a cheeky fucker (I've seen far worse examples of cheeky fuckery on here) but I think she's one of life's chancers who are more than happy to ask for things or suggest things because they know it's to their own benefit. ie. she knew if she suggested bill splitting she'd probably come out better off because she'd had alcohol and perhaps a more expensive meal (who knows what she had to eat, that wasn't in the OP).
She asked to share a taxi because that would save her money. Then she realized she could manipulate your sister into giving her a lift home and once she'd done that, she thought she'd chance asking for a lift to the meal as well because she was easily able to persuade your sister to ditch her plans and say she would drive.

Your sister needs to get a backbone or she will constantly be a magnet for chancers. She could have stuck to her guns and said she was going to walk and Sue could get a taxi to her place and they could walk together, same on the way back. Instead she ended up driving in the opposite direction to pick up Sue and take her to the meal and back again.
Your sister could have said something at the meal about not splitting the bill as she'd only had tap water, not even a coke, but she didn't.

And Sue probably wasn't tracking every drink!
It's not like she went "ah I can make Penguin's sister pay for my drinks as well as driving me around... excellent"
She just made the best offer

If your sister didn't care about this, why was she discussing so many details of her work night out? I don't think I've ever had a conversation in which someone casually told me how many drinks everyone had and how the bill was split, unless they were complaining.

So everyone ordered 1 drink, not multiple drinks? I mean I couldn't even be arsed getting into the finer detail of who ordered what, I'd be happy splitting even if I didn't have a drink.

Maybe your sister wasn't drinking but she'd ordered the a meal £5 more than some of the drinkers (easy enough between a steak and a pasta say) so it balanced.

Sue didn't ASK for a lift home either. She played her face a bit and your DS decided to offer to help. If it's a 20 minute walk, it's probably a 10 minute drive so it's not like she was going miles out of her way. It wasn't exactly CF in the extreme (although asking for a lift there was a bit more)