How old is too old to have a baby?

I can't help but find these questions bad taste, I know they dont mean to be. Plenty of women start trying earlier but it takes years. I remember seeing a lady on here who was ttc for 18 years. When you need treatment, you often have long waiting lists, and have to wait months between failed cycles. I know this is about personal preferences, but I think everyone's opinion on what 'too old' would be would be massively different if family planning didn't come easily, whether through infertility or life circumstances that have never lined up to have a baby until they were deemed 'too old' by others.

I had mine in mid-late 30s. Already felt worn out with the second one at 39. I always told myself I didn't want to be pregnant in my 40s. But I understand that for some people it's not a choice – several friends just didn't have the opportunity to have kids until their 40s.

I know someone who had kids in her 50s (IVF). Each to their own, and it worked out ok, but I think it's irresponsible, as the kids could end up orphans at an early age.

I think for most people their cut offs are in an ideal world as no one can really say for sure how they’d feel if they went past their ideal age and still didn’t have a child. Some would probably decide they were too old, but I suspect many would move the goal posts.

for me personally it’s never been an issue as I had my kids young. In an ideal world I wouldn’t want kids post 35 due to my family history. But other people have different circumstances and so probably don’t feel the same way. Everyone has to make the choices that seem right to them at the time. Other people can make their own and shouldn’t worry about what others think of their choices.

Lol .

Many posters pointing out that according to your own words, on your own various threads, you are:

1. pregnant with a daughter
2. considering a pregnancy
3. all your three children are under 4
4. have a 9yo DD

Is not bullying. You might want to look up what that means. You said those words, but seem to be mad that people have caught you out. And it's simple fact, all the versions can't be true. It's not our fault you're lying. Only you know why you're doing it.

Getting sulky at the (now many) posters now catching you out on your many versions of "DC" that you simultaneously claim to have at the same time is shitty. Because actual people are taking the time to advise you. Genuinely.

And you've made up at least 3 different versions of your own life, which you keep avoiding acknowledging, despite me being now the 4th poster to catch you out.

Absolutely MN should be having a look "behind the scenes". I think I'll let them know.

Not everyone gets a choice. I kissed a few frogs in my 20s and early 30s, but would have been joyous to be pregnant. Stable relationship by mid 30s long enough to start trying. About to turn 39 after years of trying, miscarriage, failed ivf. Bit depressing reading that in most people's opinions I'm "too old". My fault reading the opinions though!

Absolutely! It’s all down to personal circumstances and rarely choice! I had mine at 32 and 40 with 2 losses.Not what I would have chosen but there were positives about such a large age gap, especially as I became the only parent. Now I am in my 50s and unlike other friends, who are still building careers, will be able to retire on a healthy pension and still be a hands on Granny (I hope!)
often it’s the hand you’re dealt- when I was 20 I wouldn’t have dreamt of having a baby ‘late’ but then I thought 25 was old…

I think 35. I personally think the ideal age to have a baby is age 27/28. I wouldnt have considered it after 33.
I'm 45 now and there isn't a chance I would cope with a newborn. Also I don't want to be doing school run and sort/pay childcare in My 50s. I want to start preparing for retirement, saving, paying off mortgage.

@Shaz83 to be honest, OP, you have made this post only to get validation for what you want to do! you should really be discussing this with your hubby/partner!! also, have you considered what would happen if you were to split up/divorce? would you be able to afford and look after 5 kids by yourself?? everyone is entitled to their opinion regarding what constitutes an elderly mother!!

I didn't meet my DH until I was 30, first at 33 then a failed pregnancy followed by ttc I felt 40 was the limit. Found I was pregnant a week after my 40th birthday.

My user name says it all. I'm a very happy, healthy mother to a now 19 month old. Ideally would I have had her younger? Probably yes. But I don't regret it for a second and I've got more financial stability and patience than I had in my late twenties/ early thirties. I would consider myself a "young" 42 though if that makes sense and people are usually surprised when I say how old I am.

It's quite sad really. Invented numbers of kids on various threads. And 4 threads about how she's definitely not too old at 41, because the 200+ people who've said that it's too old in their opinion didn't say that she was too old directly.

But this won't matter because she's pregnant already with a daughter on another thread. Yet considering whether she should have "another" baby on this one. Then there's a 9yr old. Yet simultaneously "all of my three children are under 4"

She's clearly struggling. There's an imaginary 6 bedroom house and she's vairy rich too. Whatever makes some people happy I guess.

I’ve always said that 43 was the cut off for me personally, but I won’t really know until I get there. In general, I think mid forties is the cut off. After that I’d be raising my eyebrows a bit. Absolutely not after 50, regardless of whether you’re the mother or father.

I always felt 35 was my cut off. I was 29 and 30 when we had ours but I wanted another one or two. However, financially we were never in a position for a third. When I got to 35 I still wanted another but by 37 I knew I was done. I wasn’t broody anymore.

My kids are now 15 and 17 and I’m glad we stopped at two. I know we couldn’t give more children enough time or resources without it negatively impacting the whole family.

i had mine young so never really had to think about it. But if I hadn’t I think my cut off would have been about 35.

this isnt because I think I would feel too tired or unable to cope with a baby in my late 30s or early 40s. I’m 39 now and fitter and more active than many in their 20s. But because both my parents health started to decline in their 60s and I wouldn’t want to have a child at college/uni still needing a lot of support when I’m that age. My parents had a baby in their 40s and it was tough on all of them. It’s not for me.

I had my first at 24 and second at 42. I’m now 46 with a 23 year old and 4.5 year old. The second pregnancy was rough,
not terrible just different to my first. It took its toll on my body, I coped fine with the sleepless night but DH who is the same age as me struggled. I wanted another about 15 months later, we were both 44. DH said no we were too old, at the time I was upset but looking back over the past couple of years he was right. Physically it would have been too much. Even though we are both healthy . Instead we got a puppy lol well that’s something else entirely! Fast forward this year and we’ve both had surgery for wear and tear and broken bones etc. I think early 40s fine but any later it’s just too hard on your body.

Totally depends on how you feel and your circumstances I think. I had my first at 19 with my ex he's now 12. I'm now nearly 32 trying for my second with my current partner and if we're lucky enough for it too happen we'll definitely keep going and have more until we can't anymore the more the merrier in our eyes. I still have the energy as I did back when my first was young

Am quite surprised in the number of people saying 40 is too old.
i had my little one at 40, I had travelled the world, lived abroad , had my high powered jobs ~ so by the time I was 39/40 I was ready.
I am in a great place mentally, financially, and physically am the healthiest I’d ever been and have the life skills and so much patience now than I did when I was younger.
Some people have to go through years and years of IVF to have a baby too. So I would say everyone is different… You do the right time for YOU!!!

I think people vary a great deal in how quickly they age at a biological level. Some look and feel old by 35. Others are still remarkably youthful at 45, so it’s hard to generalise. This applies to fertility as well and even lifespan.

Women that have children later are statistically likely to live longer so citing average lifespan for the whole population doesn’t capture the reality for instance. Also, anecdotes of people struggling to get pregnant over 35 or feeling very tired in their 40s don’t apply to everyone. A healthy woman of 40 can easily have better fertility and energy than an unhealthy one at 30.

I was 34 when DD was born. She recently turned 18. I'd actually say go younger,, not older. We met young, 3DC, and have been married 30 yesrs. Our eldest is 28. I became ill when DD was young with a serious condition that couldn't have been predicted. Being younger and healthy with much more energy is better in my opinion than any financial advantage. I never thought I'd say that.