How old is too old to have a baby?

Anything over 40 is to old.

Depending on health, I’d say early 40s.

I feel like this question gets asked every week!!

Biologically - when you stop producing eggs

Socially - completely dependant on the individual

I was 43, worked well, no problems, everyone happy , young adults successfully launched.

I know there are lots of ifs and buts, but if you haven’t had the opportunity, circumstances or urge earlier, my decision was to go for it at the maturer end of my natural childbearing years rather than not have Dc.

Other people’s experience is interesting but I have no interest in other people’s judgement.

I wanted to be one and done before I turned 26. It happened in the nick of time. I absolutely cannot imagine having a baby now, in my early 40s.

That's because you already have your kids
I couldn't imagine wanting to have a baby in my 40,s either ,but I had already had my two by that' age if I hadent it might have been different.

35 would be my cut off, 40 for men as they don't have the physical aspect of pregnancy/ breastfeeding.

I'd want to be around to be a helpful/ useful grandparent and support them into adulthood. But also want to still have a good few years of being healthy/ fit after they've reached adult hood. 55 with kids over 20 is still a good age to travel and adventure.

My disability really started ramping up for me after the age of 27.

I physically couldn't handle babies and young kids. So if I hadn't had kids by 30 I'd not have had any

I just wanted to say this was so lovely to read. Really beautiful, thank you for sharing.

I’m in a very similar situation with my step-son who has been in my life for the last 4 years and at 37 he has made me want to have a child of my own. He is the most brilliant child and I feel so lucky to be his stepmum. He wants a little brother or sister and if we’re blessed I will forever be grateful for him for being the child that made me a “mum”. We’ve agreed no IVF either and are only in our second month of trying, but I feel hopeful and your story has really touched me.

It's different for everyone it depends on circumstances, I had mine at 33 and 36 but that's because in didn't meet anyone I wanted to settle down with untill met my dh at 31 .

Surely that's impossible to answer?
I had mine in my 20's which has worked out well for me and I am happily seeing them into independence in my 40's. I have no idea how I would have felt say in my mid-late 30's if I had no children because I never experienced it.
For me anything over 40 is too old because I know how I felt in my 20's compared to now at 41....

I met my DH late, struggled with infertility for 10 years, and adopted at 44. I am very happy with it 16 years later, but I wouldn't have chosen to start that late.

When you've gone through the menopause. Arlene Phillips had a child at 47 and a friend of mine had her first child at 24 and her final one at 49. (With the same partner).

I think, I would have had them later, and perhaps because it would be all NEW to me at that later stage, it might have worked out equally as well.

Mothering teens, with older, frail grandparents, I feel closer to being a young granny than an older mother. I ld love to be a young granny.

My ex H s colleagues/friends that are in their mid 50s and still going to play centres etc, are jealous of his freedom.

There is no perfect timing though.

Absolutely agree. I had my dc in my mid-late 30s because I was determined to be financially secure before having dc. Most of my mum friends have been roughly the same age. In my circle, it is unusual to have dc in your 20s. So for me, the cut off was 40.

But I have a friend who had a surprise pregnancy at 46. After trying to conceive for 20 years. Yes it is late but she is very healthy. They are both doing v well.

Would she have chosen to be a mum of a teenager in her 60s? Probably not. Can anyone begrudge her having the baby? Absolutely not.

To answer PPs question, if I hadn't had kids by 35, then I would have remained childless.

I was already on the fence about having them anyway, and I think if for whatever reason I couldn't have had children, then I'd have remained childfree. I personally wouldn't have gone down the route of IVF, but I understand why people do and why people have children a bit older.

It's a personal choice.

My Dad was 50 when I was born but men seem to have more flexibility when it comes to ages.

It's a really personal thing isn't it? I had my two young, I'm 38 now with and almost 18yo and a 15yo, I can't imagine having a baby now. It feels like the young child stage was so long ago and although I loved it at the time I love being the parent to older teens now. Equally if you want children/more children at 38 then I don't see anything wrong with that.

It's hard for me to say what is 'too old' because I was done at 23, everything past that was a no from me which I know is definitely not 'normal'.

@Bbqnights
'Too old' only applies to subsequent children IMO. As stated, you don't always have the choice with your first. I doubt that people avoid trying because they're 'too old'.
There are also people who TTC in their early 30's but finally have their baby close to a decade later after multiple miscarriages etc.

Being older, with money for nannies, private midwives , or a support network is very different from being older, more tired but also skint.

Yes I think I would have remained childless.
As I would have felt too old as I lost my parents when they were 50 and 51 so I would have been worried about what would happen to my young child if I unfortunately passed away that young as well

For me personally I think 35 I had ds4 at 35 and Dd at 37 they are now 9 and 11 and I feel that 37 was just too old for me.
Its only 2 years difference but I really noticed it with the two pregnancies I had severe spd/pgp in Ds pregnancy and I think I still struggled more in my pregnancy with Dd with mild spd/pgp..
i had my other children at 19,20 and 27 and they were very easy.

Late 30s I would say. I had mine at 33 and 36. If I wasn't pregnant by 37 the second time that was my cut off to stop. I don't want to be dealing with nappies in my 40s x

Thing is, it's easy to set an arbitrary deadline when you've already had kids.

To everyone saying mid 30s, if you weren't in a position to start trying until late 30s, say, would you have chosen to remain childless?

Menopause.

For me personally, mid 30s.

Edit Mid 30s for me having a baby I mean. Not my opinion is mid 30s is the oldest other women should have babies

For me, 35. But I’m sure if I hadn’t had babies by then, my answer would probably be 45.