How old is too old to have a baby?

strangely enough, not all of us have managed to make it to our 40s while remaining healthy.

I do ok, but i have disabilities now that were just starting to show their face in my 20s, that post 35 have left me needing mobility aids, strong pain meds, and a lot of rest/recovery time.

Be glad you're still feeling fine at 38.

same here. it wouldn't have been safe for me post 30 to have carried, so would have just stayed childless.

30 was my personal limit and I had my last at 27. He's 18 now and I am freeeeeee! But circumstances were such that it worked out for me. For other people I think 40 is a good cut off. It's really hard on children having old parents. I did and my mum died when I was 14. Ruined the trajectory of my life.

With the benefit of hindsight - 35.

And not because having a baby/toddler/primary age in your forties is hard. It isn't.

But because having a difficult teenager when you're 50+ is.

I think over 40. Not that people aren't fit enough in their 40s but just thinking more about long term.

I agree! I’m 37, 678 weeks pregnant and have a three year old, and feel totally fine. I’m amazed so many people feel old in their thirties! That’s a terrible way to live!

Some of you need to see your GPs for blood tests and get going on a heart-rate raising hobby.

My "ideal" age was 26 but DH wasn't ready.
DS came along when I was 29.
We wanted another when I was 31 but she took time to conceive and only arrived when I was 34 (almost 35).
I'm considering a 3rd and will try for one (I think!) but the fact I'm 36 now concerns me a little. My main worry would be having a child with additional needs.

I know if I didn't have children I'd be prepared to go to any age biologically possible (early 40s?)

My personal limit would be 40. I had my first at 35, expecting my second at 36 and one thing I wasn’t prepared for was the exhaustion. I wouldn’t want to deal with it again into my 40’s. Life circumstances meant I didn’t have children until 35.

Id say older than 40 and you're gonna find it harder

But that's a generalisation. If you have money, support, good health, a healthy child etc then it's not as much of an issue

I always said 35 for me personally but life doesn't always follow the plan. We had our first when I was 30 but it took years and losses to have our second who arrived when I was 36. We were right on the cusp of stopping TTC when I discovered I was pregnant and didn't actually believe we'd have a baby until I was around 18 weeks pregnant or so. I'd prefer to have had my second at 33ish, which is when we "planned" but I'm so thankful she came along eventually and she was definitely worth the wait. We originally wanted 3 kids but not rolling the dice again.

It’s so easy to say “I personally wouldn’t want one after 30” but some people haven’t even met their spouse by then and many others aren’t in a financial position to have a child yet. So much depends on your life circumstances.

My DH is 11 years older than me. We had fertility issues and never did conceive. I am very glad I didn’t get a surprise late pregnancy for this reason.

I don't think I've ever seen one of these threads that explain the rationale for asking the question. Why do you want to know?

I'm 40 with 2 IVF eggs in storage that were extracted when I was 34. I'm certainly not 'too old' and actually resent the notion of others who happily had stress-free pregnancies and births in their 20s telling anyone when their optimal timeframe ought to be.

Weird question...seems to be implying some objective answer is possible?
It's too old whenever the woman decides it's too old.

There are pros and cons. My mum was 23 when she had me, 26 dsis2, 40 when she had my youngest sister. I had my two at similar ages to her having me and dsis2 and she was mid 40s and working full time. When dsis3 had hers at 23 and 26, mum was retired and has been support and free childcare ever since. Now 72 and still doing all the school runs. My sister would say she didn't like having an older mum, but she has benefited from it in other ways.. Personally, I'm glad I had my last at 26.

35 would be the cut off for me, but everyone is different.

There a no single answer to this. I only have an ‘in retrospect’ answer which is early 30s, partly because my parents died when I was mid 30s and I also hit perimenopause quite early. So for me, had I waited to 35 and beyond, things wouldn’t have worked out well for me. Dealing with teenagers during perimenopause isn’t a picnic but I think for me personally babies and toddlers would have been more difficult.

But a friend I knew from school was hurt badly by a relationship in her early 20s and then remained single for many years. Eventually met a lovely man at 40 and has just recently had her first (and I think only) baby at nearly 47. I’m delighted for her that it was able to happen.

I have seen news articles when women in their 60s have had a successful career and then decided they want children, which I would say is too old.

My DH is significantly older than me, so I felt my choice was limited more by his age than mine. We got together when he was 40, and our kids were born when he was mid-late 40s.

I was trying to be succinct but ideal , as stated in the earlier post, refers to conditions I can control. Maybe, a better description would be, conditions meeting my criteria. Like marriage and stable housing (property ownership or social housing). Unlike people who have such a strong biological urge, they want kids no matter what. If I was single or lived in private rented I wouldn't have kids. No issue with others who do, I just wouldn't.

If I already had them and life changes, well, I cannot control that. But I wouldn't enter into such a situation knowingly.

I'm ND , we tend to marry other ND people and evidence shows a high degree of heritability. So I was never under any illusions of having an 'easy' child. Adoption trauma would be no different. In any case, SEN, illness , birth injuries are in the category of uncontrollable things.

There are very specific reasons why I won't consider IVF but I don't need to make this post longer so I'll stop there.

I was 36 and 40. Would've liked to have been younger tbh.

Why?
I had mine, had my tubes tied
Had a lovely time while they were tied.

Best decision ever. If I were to miraculously fall pregnant I wouldn't be for long.

40ish depending on health and energy levels! I had mine at 28 and 30 as she and I had been together for 10 years by the time I had our first.

You don't really want to be doing their menopause with teens if it can be avoided...

It’s personal but due to life circumstances and not meeting my DH until late…I had mine at 38 and 40.

40 was my cut off and we’d have stuck at 1 if it didn’t happen.
its HARD and I feel my age.

very honestly all other things being equal I’d have had my last at 35

I wouldn't have had them.
I was indifferent anyway and my first wasn't even planned. So he started the ball rolling.

It was more about how I wanted my life to be mapped out.