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Original poster

How old is too old to have a baby?

611 replies

Shaz83 · 14/11/2024 11:40

Just wondering how old is too old to have a baby? Fair enough being healthy etc is fine.. but how old is too old?

OP posts:
Original poster
Shaz83 · 15/11/2024 17:41

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 15/11/2024 17:19

@Shaz83 OP are you thinking of having a baby or another baby? do you yourself think you might be too old?

yes I’m considering having another baby I’m 41. And i thought maybe I’m too old… but thanks to the posts that are positive have made me feel reassured ❤️

OP posts:
Original poster
Shaz83 · 15/11/2024 17:38

Suzuki76 · 15/11/2024 17:07

It's annoying because you are already over 40 and considering another baby, yet you haven't actually expressed this in the OP. You have an agenda which is causing you to argue against opinions (and that's all they are, opinions) that someone your age is too old.

You're loaded with a big house and garden, apparently, so just have the baby if you want one.

Show quote history

Yes I’m considering another baby I’m 41. So I am too old. Thanks for making a 41 year old feel good. 👍

OP posts:
Original poster
Shaz83 · 15/11/2024 17:31

SallyWD · 15/11/2024 17:03

I didn't say that. I said most people who have a baby late will get less time with their children, and also that more of that time will be when they're old.
Yes. I know that some people live to 90 or 100 but most don't. We all know what the average life expectancy is and that most people will die around that age. Also, while some 95 year old are sprightly and in good health, many aren't. I have quite a lot of experience of dealing with older people who have poor quality of life and whose children worry and stress about them.
But look, I'm not criticising older mums. I'm an older mum and I know some brilliant older mums. For many women like me, being an older mum is the only option they had. Life in our society is geared up to having fun in your 20s and establishing a career. It's pretty hard to find a man who wants to settle down young too!
I'm simply pointing out the reasons why I wish I'd had them younger, and the benefits of doing so.

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i have read so many posts from so many people on here and other threads I have made which are similar… reading them has made me feel that having a baby at 42 is not actually that bad. Those that sent such beautiful positive posts have for sure change my mind set. My mum is my perfect example but wanted to hear from others.
you then have people sending posts who put Down the major down sides but nothing positive just it’s all bad.
for people like me and others out there who suffered infertility like I did for 6 years and suffered miscarriages.
should we give up at age 41?? Let’s say.. because it’s too old?? Nothing good comes from those negative posts and it does hit a nerve naturally…
i have asked when is it too old I didn’t ask for pure negative comments that make you feel like it’s not a good idea…. Because those negative comments are not nice….just put a number there is no need to post complete negative comments because there are older moms at 41 and pregnant how must they feel when they read negative comments. Fair enough I asked how old is too old but my god I didn’t think people would actually post pure negativity i thought it would be lovely reassuring comments which most have been and I’m grateful.

OP posts:
LePetitMaman · 15/11/2024 17:28

Suzuki76 · 15/11/2024 17:07

It's annoying because you are already over 40 and considering another baby, yet you haven't actually expressed this in the OP. You have an agenda which is causing you to argue against opinions (and that's all they are, opinions) that someone your age is too old.

You're loaded with a big house and garden, apparently, so just have the baby if you want one.

Show quote history

Yeeaaaaah.

Turns out in September OP had a "9yr old daughter", but in November she posts "all 3 of mine are under 4"

I wonder which ones live in the "6 bedroom house"....

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 15/11/2024 17:19

@Shaz83 OP are you thinking of having a baby or another baby? do you yourself think you might be too old?

Suzuki76 · 15/11/2024 17:07

Shaz83 · 15/11/2024 16:55

I don’t see how? What is wrong with you all? I’m being positive saying it’s not all bad being older. And I’m getting abused!

Show quote history

It's annoying because you are already over 40 and considering another baby, yet you haven't actually expressed this in the OP. You have an agenda which is causing you to argue against opinions (and that's all they are, opinions) that someone your age is too old.

You're loaded with a big house and garden, apparently, so just have the baby if you want one.

Sunnnybunny72 · 15/11/2024 17:04

My friend had her second set of twins at 47. Her first set were 17!

SallyWD · 15/11/2024 17:03

Shaz83 · 15/11/2024 13:34

So you think to be a mummy to a child for 50 plus years being there emotionally for them etc?? Is not enough time?

Show quote history

I didn't say that. I said most people who have a baby late will get less time with their children, and also that more of that time will be when they're old.
Yes. I know that some people live to 90 or 100 but most don't. We all know what the average life expectancy is and that most people will die around that age. Also, while some 95 year old are sprightly and in good health, many aren't. I have quite a lot of experience of dealing with older people who have poor quality of life and whose children worry and stress about them.
But look, I'm not criticising older mums. I'm an older mum and I know some brilliant older mums. For many women like me, being an older mum is the only option they had. Life in our society is geared up to having fun in your 20s and establishing a career. It's pretty hard to find a man who wants to settle down young too!
I'm simply pointing out the reasons why I wish I'd had them younger, and the benefits of doing so.

Tabbyandwhite · 15/11/2024 17:00

Over 35.

AmICrazyToEvenBother · 15/11/2024 17:00

Oh, this again!!

Your body decides when its physically too old, the rest is personally choice.

Imfreetofeelgood · 15/11/2024 16:59

I had DS at 41/nearly 42. I was a very young 41. I feel ancient at 55. My DP is now 60 and has struggled from the beginning. I feel guilty that DS is an only child, with older parents.

Original poster
Shaz83 · 15/11/2024 16:55

WonderingAboutThus · 15/11/2024 15:34

Christ, you're annoying.
And abusing the goodwill of this community.

I don’t see how? What is wrong with you all? I’m being positive saying it’s not all bad being older. And I’m getting abused!

OP posts:
Original poster
Shaz83 · 15/11/2024 16:52

ludicrouslycapaciousbags · 15/11/2024 13:44

@LePetitMaman

OP has been writing these posts for about a week now, shooting anyone down who has the opinion that having babies 40+ isn't that great 😊

and no one is asking you to read my posts….

OP posts:
WonderingAboutThus · 15/11/2024 15:34

Christ, you're annoying.
And abusing the goodwill of this community.

LePetitMaman · 15/11/2024 15:09

No one is bothered. Just to be clear.

Simply observation on behaviour, and the conclusion people might draw from that. Hyper focusing, repeated identical threads and defensive snipes at people (the majority) who post the opinion that doesn't support yours, suggests you are far from " 😂 "

Wishing you well.

Original poster
Shaz83 · 15/11/2024 14:58

LePetitMaman · 15/11/2024 14:10

Yep, so you didn't want the opinions. Just people saying it's a brilliant idea to be an elderly mother.

I didn't realise this was your 4th thread saying the same thing, and agree with PP view on that. Wishing you well.

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Why does it bother people so much if I post the similiar thing??? No one is telling you or them to read it?? 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Shaz83 · 15/11/2024 14:53

ludicrouslycapaciousbags · 15/11/2024 13:41

4th thread you have done on this, perplexing, wonder what answer your waiting on...

Anything above 35 is too old.

And why does it affect you? You got a problem with that? I can do 10 threads about the same topic no one is forcing you to comment🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
LePetitMaman · 15/11/2024 14:10

Shaz83 · 15/11/2024 13:56

I only asked when is it too old to have a baby? I didn’t ask for negative comments did I? That’s my opinion I’m not being defensive It’s just obvious if that’s how you feel then why have a baby late??

Show quote history

Yep, so you didn't want the opinions. Just people saying it's a brilliant idea to be an elderly mother.

I didn't realise this was your 4th thread saying the same thing, and agree with PP view on that. Wishing you well.

Original poster
Shaz83 · 15/11/2024 13:56

LePetitMaman · 15/11/2024 13:35

It's clear you think it's brilliant to be an elderly mother and get all defensive at everyone pointing out the major downsides, so.... why ask for opinions?

Show quote history

I only asked when is it too old to have a baby? I didn’t ask for negative comments did I? That’s my opinion I’m not being defensive It’s just obvious if that’s how you feel then why have a baby late??

OP posts:
Roosnoodles · 15/11/2024 13:53

I don’t have a child so I don’t know how valid my opinion is on this but surely your body tells you when you can’t have a child anymore. Menopause. Unless obviousness you need help to start off with. Then of course it’s down to your own discretion how long you try.

Feelinadequate23 · 15/11/2024 13:51

Snoopdoggydog123 · 14/11/2024 11:50

It's going to be different for everyone

For me personally, I said I wouldn't have a baby passed 30.

I don’t know a single person of my generation who had a baby before they were 30! I think most people are quite influenced by their local demographic!

ludicrouslycapaciousbags · 15/11/2024 13:46

I don't do that advance search on posters, cba doing that but I remember the name as it's a friend's nickname and the content.

I'm genuinely not trying to be mean as I can see OP is clearly mentally struggling.

DiamondGoldandSilver · 15/11/2024 13:45

It makes me a little sad to see posters saying a woman is too old to have a baby over the age of 35 when that is when I had my first. I know I’m a great mum and don’t see myself as an old mum at all! In fact, I’m probably fitter than many mums who are much younger than me (bit of an assumption by I do pretty well in the mums’ race at sports day- haha). Mumsnet can be really harsh and a bit odd sometimes.

ludicrouslycapaciousbags · 15/11/2024 13:44

@LePetitMaman

OP has been writing these posts for about a week now, shooting anyone down who has the opinion that having babies 40+ isn't that great 😊

LePetitMaman · 15/11/2024 13:42

ludicrouslycapaciousbags · 15/11/2024 13:41

4th thread you have done on this, perplexing, wonder what answer your waiting on...

Anything above 35 is too old.

Wow! This is her fourth thread on the same thing?

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