New guy ignoring me

Go back to your GP for a change in medication AND ask for counselling. You are spiralling into a very bad place and this is very clear to all of us on here.

I have recently left a very abusive 4 year relationship
Do you realise that once you've been in one abusive relationship you are more likely to get into another, and then another, until you restore your boundaries via therapy. Do The Freedom Programme and DO NOT DATE until you have successfully completed it.

you do not like him, you like the idea you have created of him, and subconsciously you think that if you can get him to see what a wonderful person you are then you will heal and prove to yourself that you are not unlovable, something your abusive ex made you feel.

After meeting him once, he calls you names, makes it clear he's not interested, yet you're thinking of paying for a hotel to have sex with him?

It's not normal for a woman to even consider seeing a creature like this again. You need to see him clearly.

Walk away. You've been chatting for a month!! It's not a relationship. Why are you even entertaining the idea of meeting him to 'talk'???! About what exactly?! He's shown you what he's like. He has no respect for you, there certainly are no feelings on his side. As for booking a hotel... What for, sex?! Have more self-respect for yourself. Block him, on every platform, and thank your lucky stars he showed you early on, before you got involved, what a nasty twat he truly is.

He is a piece of shit. if you want to see him what does that make you?

Block and bin.

Nothing else to say really. He's a piece of shit.

He's a piece of shit.

You deserve so much better.

Don't meet him at a hotel, you have absolutely nothing to gain from continuing contact with him.

Block, delete, move on, and raise your bar significantly higher.

I mean this with kindness. I have wasted my time with losers when I was younger, and it brings nothing but pain, heartache, and regret. I guess we all have to learn for ourselves, but your life will be so much better when you start realising your worth.

What advice would you give to a friend if she was in your position? That's your answer.

Are you 15? Good grief, just block him on everything!

Absolutely awful excuse for a human. Don't even call him again. Block. He's inadequate, clearly gearing up for controlling behaviour.

This is so utterly ridiculous. Be glad he is ignoring you. By rights it should be YOU ignoring HIM. He is a dreadful specimen.

One month in and he is already emotionally abusing you - calling you names, building you up with sweet words then deliberately crashing it down, gaslighting and negging, he has an issue with drink, he has said he does not want a relationship only sex, what more evidence do you want that this man will only cause you pain and heartache???
You are throwing yourself at yet another abusive man.
You have built up a 'love story' in your head based on your vivid imagination and wishes for a relationship and a few sweet words from him. Actions speak louder than flowery words, OP. The 'love story' you have built in your head is not real, your heart is following that imagined love story and you are ignoring the realities of the situation. You need to engage your rational mind - what would you tell a friend in this situation?
Please do get help, there will be free counselling services in your area. Read the book 'Why does he do that' by Lundy Bancroft, it will help you a lot.
Just step away from this guy, he is no good for you.

JFC - you’ve met this guy once, he’s insulted you horribly, basically told you he just wants to fuck you and you’re pining over him?

Honestly OP your self esteem must be less than zero to not tell this fuckwit where to go. Hes horrible.

And just an observation so many abusive cunts get called ‘sweet’ on MN - I’ve honestly never heard any adult human who behaves in a normal grown up way described as ‘sweet’ in RL do it does seem a specific way to refer to few minutes when an abusive twat is giving the minimum effort.

OP please read this.

This is a pattern of behaviour for abusive men;
They sweet talk you, make you think they are nice.
You start to feel safe, so you start to open up.
They listen while you talk about the bad times you've been through.
You think they are supporting you but really they are learning how best to abuse you.

And its worked. You've only met this man once but you can't stop thinking about him, and you are chasing him. Its as if you are standing so close to the T.V. that he fills the screen and you can't see anything else.
You sound like a victim of narcissistic abuse and coercive control. This all feels normal to you, but it really isn't.

Please go see your G.P. and tell them what is happening. Ask them to review your meds and get you into counselling.
Look into The Freedom Program, you can do it online;
https://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/

When starting any new relationship, the first thing I'd suggest is you google his name; and then ask the police to check him using Clare's Law. You might be able to find out if the man you want to date has a history of domestic abuse before you get involved.
You should also read Why Does He Do That by Frank Lundy, and The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. There are red flags you can sometimes spot early on before you get involved.

He’s barely literate. What a catch.

Offering to meet up “to fuck” so you can make your mind up?! And this works?

Who said romance is dead, with this prince walking among us 😳

Wow!! Do you really need to ask what to do ?? He’s not interested and if he’s calling you things like this when you have just met he’s hardly sweet !! Work on your self worth

You’re concerned this abusive twat doesn’t like you, but you like him 🤦‍♀️

This guy is the dregs at the bottom of the barrel.

You were too full on and he’s backing away because he doesn’t feel the same. You say he messaged you saying love you and my girl but haven’t shared those and by now he’s talking to you on the ones you have shared he has zero respect for you so have some for yourself and walk away.

He is absolutely disgusting. If you think this is wonderful... well my jaw is on the floor.

He sounds like how I imagine Russel Brand speaks to women.

Again. He's telling you. He's warning you of exactly what he is and who he is. Don't see him again.

The hotel is him hoping he’s going to get a shag out of you. There’s nothing you’ve posted yet which suggests this guy will be any good for you, now or in the future.

Please don’t think so little of yourself that you open yourself up to this kind of treatment. If you’re only just out of a 4 year relationship then you’re not going to be yourself and your boundaries are likely all over the place.

Block him and delete whatever dating app(s) you’re using for at least six months.

When we leave an abusive telationship, these sort of behaviours feel like home. The early stages of pulling you in and pushing you away and the crumbs for you to hold onto.
If he's saying these things to you now he's showing he doesn't respect you and he doesn't even like you. He doesn't see you as a potential partner. He's telling you he's not for you and that it isn't going to work. That's not a challenge. Just listen to what he's saying. This isn't going to be a happy ending. Have you done any work since leaving your abusive partner?

Lady please.... for the love of anything sacred....

Please respect yourself more and throw him in the bin!!!

I think it's really sad that the sweetest guy you've ever met calls you those horrible names, after only one month of knowing you when this will be his best behaviour. Op you really need to look hard at why you are so blind to this - this guy should have been blocked the moment he spoke to you like that, you don't even know him so why are you holding on to him after that??