Page 5 | New guy ignoring me

TwistedWonder · 14/11/2024 15:23

Why the fuck are you opening up about your trauma to someone you don’t even know? I’ve had stuff on my fridge longer than you’ve known this man ffs.

He has shown you loud and clear that he’s a nasty abusive cunt - believe him

KrisAkabusi · 14/11/2024 15:17

OliviaRodrighost · 14/11/2024 15:08

Are you even reading all the replies?

Is she even reading her OWN replies?!

I opened up to him about about my personal life, my nan dying with cancer, my uncle who’s just passed who we’ve just buried, my very abusive ex. He told me I could open up to him and tell him anything so I did, then after calling me names he sent me a voice note literally mocking each thing

Seriously OP. Read this back to yourself. IS this really the sort of person you want to be with? Do you honestly think "he has been the sweetest person ever & made me so very happy!" ?

renovationqueen · 14/11/2024 15:13

YourTealMaker · 14/11/2024 09:54

* for context **

This is honestly mortifying to read. You need to seek therapy and get away from this man. You don't know each other.

YourFastAquaMentor · 14/11/2024 15:09

YourTealMaker · 14/11/2024 09:24

Hey, I have been talking with someone for around a month, he has been the sweetest person ever & made me so very happy! - however for the past week he has rarely popped up to my messages.
we got into a heated argument when he was drunk & he called me a slag & ugly & to look at the state of my self. Accused me of having a boyfriend ect … he didn’t speak to me the day after this & then he messaged me basically saying that the truth comes out when you’re drunk. I have tried to speak to him but he has been very blunt, I asked him if he wants to meet Friday to talk. He said he will pay for a hotel if I choose one but he isn’t inviting me to his because he said “ I am fragile” and I need something from him that he can’t give at the moment (not sure what this means) i really like him but I don’t think he feels the same way

You need to do better. At this point you’re doing it to yourself.

It’s astonishing that you cannot see his behaviour is alarming to say the least, but instead worried that he’s ignoring you.

Please seek therapy.

OliviaRodrighost · 14/11/2024 15:08

Are you even reading all the replies?

Original poster

YourTealMaker · 14/11/2024 15:07

he just makes me feel really upset now he went from making me feel the happiest I’ve felt in a long time to literally dragging it away over night. I did tell him I did not want to talk to him after the name calling as he tried to message me 2 days later as I was ignoring him like nothing had happened.. I said to him that he called me ugly and a slag ect and he never even said sorry and all he replied was the truth is spoken with alcohol or something along them lines I can’t exactly remember how he worded it but it defiantly wasn’t an apology.

I opened up to him about about my personal life, my nan dying with cancer, my uncle who’s just passed who we’ve just buried, my very abusive ex. He told me I could open up to him and tell him anything so I did, then after calling me names he sent me a voice note literally mocking each thing I opened up to him about mocking my voice when I had been crying to him on the phone saying that I don’t have real issues going on in my life how he’s had 50% harder how he was trying to be nice being there for me ect….

OP posts:

FupaTrooper · 14/11/2024 15:07

Block him, change your number, get into therapy.

He gives you butterflies because you are addicted to the toxic rollercoaster of abuse.

It isn't genuine or real, it is your body responding to how you were conditioned by your ex.

BodyKeepingScore · 14/11/2024 15:02

YourTealMaker · 14/11/2024 14:51

I have blocked him before after he told me just wanted to be friends, which I agreed to I didn’t mind at first keeping it casual it was a mutual thing. But then he started to say he sees me in his future, I’m perfect for him just his type ect ect , saying love you randomly & then he tried to friendzone me after this. So I did actually block him but he just kept ringing me and contacted me on a different social media platforms.

i told him that I don’t want to play games with him, when he was calling me names I just opened the messages ignoring him, he sent message after message voice note after voice note lasting minutes at a time. Since I didn’t meet him he’s now just acting cold and distant once again that I what was confusing me the most.

I have told him multiple times that I will leave him alone if this isn’t what he wants which he previously did agree too but then the message after he will put something like love you. We haven’t really spoke much this week as his phones broke - I agreed to meet him in a hotel (after our last date to the cinema) I didn’t end up turning up. He offered to take me to the cinema and for food so we could just talk he made it clear he did not want to have sex with me that he just wanted to meet me and speak to me properly & then he would drop me off home afterwards. He offered to cover the whole bill but I told him I’ll pay for my self, he’s told me to book a hotel room but offered to pay for it. I just think he means if I’m serious about meeting him as I basically stood him up last week but I don’t think he likes me the way I like him that’s for sure.

i do agree that I do need to go to therapy, I have actually spoke about this with him and he agreed it would be good for me but he told me that if I don’t go to therapy I can always speak to him and open up to him

How on earth have you fit all this drama into four weeks? Week one - fun chat week 2 - "You love each other - week three - blocking.

You're not 15.

Beastiesandthebeauty · 14/11/2024 15:01

Literally block him and tell him no further contact, definitely don't tell him personal stuff. He is manipulating you, he's already a waster. If you want sex have no strings sex with someone else, if you want love and a relationship work on yourself first.

Menopausalhatred · 14/11/2024 14:54

YourTealMaker · 14/11/2024 14:51

I have blocked him before after he told me just wanted to be friends, which I agreed to I didn’t mind at first keeping it casual it was a mutual thing. But then he started to say he sees me in his future, I’m perfect for him just his type ect ect , saying love you randomly & then he tried to friendzone me after this. So I did actually block him but he just kept ringing me and contacted me on a different social media platforms.

i told him that I don’t want to play games with him, when he was calling me names I just opened the messages ignoring him, he sent message after message voice note after voice note lasting minutes at a time. Since I didn’t meet him he’s now just acting cold and distant once again that I what was confusing me the most.

I have told him multiple times that I will leave him alone if this isn’t what he wants which he previously did agree too but then the message after he will put something like love you. We haven’t really spoke much this week as his phones broke - I agreed to meet him in a hotel (after our last date to the cinema) I didn’t end up turning up. He offered to take me to the cinema and for food so we could just talk he made it clear he did not want to have sex with me that he just wanted to meet me and speak to me properly & then he would drop me off home afterwards. He offered to cover the whole bill but I told him I’ll pay for my self, he’s told me to book a hotel room but offered to pay for it. I just think he means if I’m serious about meeting him as I basically stood him up last week but I don’t think he likes me the way I like him that’s for sure.

i do agree that I do need to go to therapy, I have actually spoke about this with him and he agreed it would be good for me but he told me that if I don’t go to therapy I can always speak to him and open up to him

Block him and tell him if he continues to harass you then you'll be going to the police. The early stages of dating are meant to be them at their best on their best behaviour, if this is him at his best you WILL end up in a box 6 feet under at some point in the future.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 14/11/2024 14:53

What's to like? Blimey

Original poster

YourTealMaker · 14/11/2024 14:51

I have blocked him before after he told me just wanted to be friends, which I agreed to I didn’t mind at first keeping it casual it was a mutual thing. But then he started to say he sees me in his future, I’m perfect for him just his type ect ect , saying love you randomly & then he tried to friendzone me after this. So I did actually block him but he just kept ringing me and contacted me on a different social media platforms.

i told him that I don’t want to play games with him, when he was calling me names I just opened the messages ignoring him, he sent message after message voice note after voice note lasting minutes at a time. Since I didn’t meet him he’s now just acting cold and distant once again that I what was confusing me the most.

I have told him multiple times that I will leave him alone if this isn’t what he wants which he previously did agree too but then the message after he will put something like love you. We haven’t really spoke much this week as his phones broke - I agreed to meet him in a hotel (after our last date to the cinema) I didn’t end up turning up. He offered to take me to the cinema and for food so we could just talk he made it clear he did not want to have sex with me that he just wanted to meet me and speak to me properly & then he would drop me off home afterwards. He offered to cover the whole bill but I told him I’ll pay for my self, he’s told me to book a hotel room but offered to pay for it. I just think he means if I’m serious about meeting him as I basically stood him up last week but I don’t think he likes me the way I like him that’s for sure.

i do agree that I do need to go to therapy, I have actually spoke about this with him and he agreed it would be good for me but he told me that if I don’t go to therapy I can always speak to him and open up to him

OP posts:

spinningisthebest · 14/11/2024 14:27

You deserve someone who will live and value you, who will want to be with you and think you are the best thing that ever happened to him. This man is not that person. He is horrible and nasty and the more you give the more he will take. Please block him completely including on your phone.

StrawberryWater · 14/11/2024 14:13

Op look up freedom programs and go and take one.

Natty13 · 14/11/2024 14:10

YourTealMaker · 14/11/2024 12:43

To be honest I’m just honestly used to the name calling it doesn’t really phase me I know that’s bad to say

Well you SHOULD be phased.

Look, my husband is incredible. Proper movie style man. He cam drive me mad but from the day we met I've felt secure, loved and looked after. You aren't going to find love like that if you keep wasting your time choosing losers. And you deserve that kind of love, we all do because you have a lot of love to give back!

Work on your self esteem. Get a hobby. Get some therapy. Do things for YOU to heal YOU before you start looking for a man. This one saw you coming and chances are it will happen again until you do something about your self esteem. Wise up.

leia24 · 14/11/2024 13:57

YourTealMaker · 14/11/2024 12:43

To be honest I’m just honestly used to the name calling it doesn’t really phase me I know that’s bad to say

His messages say if you're being serious he will meet you to shag you. This man literally doesn't give a fuck about you.
Play it through in your head. Where do you think it's going? What are you looking for with him?

KrisAkabusi · 14/11/2024 13:56

He is a horrible person. You deserve better. If you have any self-awareness, self-respect, ambition just run away now. He is a terrible person, cruel and manipulative. Listen to what EVERY SINGLE PERSON is telling you and end it with him now. For your own mental, and quite possible, physical health.

Userxyd · 14/11/2024 13:36

You need to wise up asap. You will wise up one day and realise how awful he is - just make sure it's soon. If you bring children into this relationship you will never be free and your whole life will be drama misery and fighting.
Just get rid of him you're wasting precious time that you could be finding some sweet and caring who'll be a proper friend and lover to you. This guy sounds awful, emotionally unstable as well and you've already had problems and conflict after just one date?!! Cannot see the attraction at all!

Bigcat25 · 14/11/2024 13:08

He's fucking with your head on purpose, using love bombing. People shouldn't want to give you the world after a couple weeks. Dump and run. It sounds like you need to learn about what a healthy relationship looks like, he's way too disordered.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 14/11/2024 13:02

Nothing anyone says will change your mind because you don't value yourself. Any male attention is desperately grabbed on to and you will take any amount of shit. Probably up to and including being knocked about.

You will never be happy unless you work hard to value yourself. You deserve better than this. You truly do. This is about your lack of self esteem and self respect. I've been there. Not with name calling but with a different behaviour I carried out for the exact same reasons I suggest above. With me it was sleeping with any man who was willing to use me just to feel wanted, even for a moment.

Only you can change you and I implore you to try to ask for help in order to have a normal life.

In the meantime please please please please PLEASE don't get pregnant.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 14/11/2024 13:02

There's literally nothing here to be confused about.

He's making it clear. Crystal fucking clear.

He's not interested.

He may fuck you because you're making it easy for him, but even then he's not particularly bothered.

Sorry to be harsh but you need to be told. You deserve better than this prick.

Maria1979 · 14/11/2024 12:58

@YourTealMaker
You do not need this any more than you need crack cocaïne. Seriously, get some therapy asap because you sound like you are extremely fragile and lost. I am saying this with kindness, not irony. Stay away from the people who are literally spelling out that they do not want what you want. Take care of yourself and make sure you are in a better place before starting a relationship or you will only get hurt..

Todaywasbetter · 14/11/2024 12:50

Sad, sad, sad no one can reach you.
Except the damaged man who wants to damage you.

Original poster

YourTealMaker · 14/11/2024 12:48

I met him literally within hours of breaking up with my ex, my ex boyfriend was out cheating I need to get out the house there isn’t much near me so I went to the pub after I finished work for some food and basically fresh air. I was in the smoking area and he approached me there calling me beautiful ect and we just got to speaking. His brother did have to tell him to stop being so touchy with me but apart from that all seemed okay.

OP posts:

TwistedWonder · 14/11/2024 12:47

YourTealMaker · 14/11/2024 12:43

To be honest I’m just honestly used to the name calling it doesn’t really phase me I know that’s bad to say

That’s one of the saddest things I’ve read on here. You have no problem with a man who has no respect for you and calls you a slag? And you think all you are worth is paying for a hotel room to allow pathetic disgusting pieces of shit to have sex with you like you’re an unpaid prostitute?

Seriously you need to go back to your GO and fight to get therapy because continuing down this path with destroy any slight amount of dignity you have left.

No one should allow themselves to be treated like shit and just accept it