Page 3 | New guy ignoring me

YourTealMaker · 2024-11-14T09:24:08+00:00

Hey, I have been talking with someone for around a month, he has been the sweetest person ever & made me so very happy! - however for the past week he has rarely popped up to my messages. we got into a heated argument when he was drunk & he called me a slag & ugly & to look at the state of my self. Accused me of having a boyfriend ect … he didn’t speak to me the day after this & then he messaged me basically saying that the truth comes out when you’re drunk. I have tried to speak to him but he has been very blunt, I asked him if he wants to meet Friday to talk. He said he will pay for a hotel if I choose one but he isn’t inviting me to his because he said “ I am fragile” and I need something from him that he can’t give at the moment (not sure what this means) i really like him but I don’t think he feels the same way

Tesal · 15/11/2024 10:16

Get some self respect.

KrisAkabusi · 15/11/2024 10:16

10 pages of people telling you had bad this person is, and you still think you know better. People have done their best, but there's no helping you.

Original poster

YourTealMaker · 15/11/2024 10:15

I’m not paying for the hotel or anything he’s already said I don’t have to worry about expenses but I have offered to buy a bottle of alcohol. I don’t mind staying friends and keeping it causal if he agrees to do the same but if he starts trying to take it further I’ll probably end up having to pull back as I don’t think it’ll be good for either of us I don’t think he’s ready for a relationship and I am not either tbh

OP posts:

Pussycat22 · 15/11/2024 10:14

He's a MONSTER,!! Develop yourself and learn how to be proud of yourself and not put up with scumbags like him.

Original poster

YourTealMaker · 15/11/2024 10:13

I don’t know what it is but theirs just something about him, he’s got lovley blue eyes he’s really attractive he works he has his own place and when he’s actually being nice he makes me laugh & it just feels like I’ve known him forever ( even though I don’t hardly know him ) that is why I said to stay as friends. We have mutual friends together I have met him briefly in the past when we was in high school we have a lot of mutual connections + he lives 5 minutes away from me. So that’s mainly why I just chose to stay friendly because I’ll bump into him. His sister was in my class at school and I speak to her now and again when I see her

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TwistedWonder · 15/11/2024 10:10

So you’re paying for a hotel so he can treat you like an unpaid sex worker, wash his cock in the dink and leave you feeling like a piece of shit afterwards?

And only do you accept this shit, you actively chase him begging him to treat you like crap.

You need serious help and you need to stay as far away from men as possible until you understand that you’re not a piece of meat just there to satisfy cunty men

Catza · 15/11/2024 10:07

YourTealMaker · 15/11/2024 10:01

Because part of me likes him still and I’m saying different on the messages because I am trying to keep my guard up a bit I can’t help if I’ve developed feelings for him. I booked the hotel because I did want to meet him even if it’s just for sex but I don’t think I’ll take it further than that because I don’t want to end up in the same situation I have just left with my ex

If you don't think you will take it further than sex, then why bother meeting him at all? If you think you have feelings for him but don't want to take it further then why feed your feelings by meeting with him and having sex?
Can you stop for a second and actually at least try and see how you think this situation is likely to develop if you see him in a state you are in right now?

Frith2013 · 15/11/2024 10:06

You don't like him.

You don't know him.

Also, there is nothing there to like.

Threetrees745 · 15/11/2024 10:05

Why do you like him so much? From his messages it sounds like he can barely string two sentences together.

Beastiesandthebeauty · 15/11/2024 10:04

Focus on your child and yourself. These conversations are more immature then my teens or even my 9 year old. Letting him damage you more takes away from your child. Sort yourself out and eventualy you'll be ready for a MAN not a self proclaimed fuck boy!

Original poster

YourTealMaker · 15/11/2024 10:01

Because part of me likes him still and I’m saying different on the messages because I am trying to keep my guard up a bit I can’t help if I’ve developed feelings for him. I booked the hotel because I did want to meet him even if it’s just for sex but I don’t think I’ll take it further than that because I don’t want to end up in the same situation I have just left with my ex

OP posts:

TwistedWonder · 15/11/2024 10:00

OP sharing private conversations online is really unacceptable and crossing boundaries.

I realise that’s not the biggest issue in this entire shit show but you are really wrong to post them .

BodyKeepingScore · 15/11/2024 09:59

YourTealMaker · 15/11/2024 09:48

Ok so I made it a point to not speak to him yesterday but last night he started ringing my phone & messaging me - I told him I don’t mind meeting but to just keep it casual the way he wanted, but I am not even sure if me and him is what I want anymore after posting on here & from the advise I’ve been given. I have booked a hotel room just incase I might meet him but I am still in two minds. Now I’ve taken what everyone has said in to account and now I have woken up in a sort of different mind set. I just feel like if I do go to meet him everything will just go downhill but then part of me thinks maybe it might not I really don’t know what I am going to do but Thankyou everyone for your help & opinions I have been on the phone to my GP this morning to talk about my medication maybe getting it changed + to seek councilling & I have a call back for this afternoon.

Ugh. Still too much drama. Cancel the hotel.

Original poster

YourTealMaker · 15/11/2024 09:58

I have a telephone appointment but I will read the messages to the go

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Catza · 15/11/2024 09:58

Another vote for cancelling the hotel. What are you planning to achieve with meeting him? What you say to him in messages is not what you are saying to us at all. And, also, please stop sharing screenshots of your conversations. You have no boundaries, you are massively oversharing and, frankly, it is not helpful to anyone.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 15/11/2024 09:58

There is literally no helping you. You are choosing this. You are actively seeking this out.

"I'm a bad girl"? Wtf is wrong with you?

Don't come complaining he treats you like shit. Shit is clearly what you crave

For the love of God get help and do not bring kids into this shitshow. They shouldn't suffer for your choices.

Frith2013 · 15/11/2024 09:56

Cancel the hotel.

Show the doctor the messages this afternoon.

Original poster

YourTealMaker · 15/11/2024 09:48

Ok so I made it a point to not speak to him yesterday but last night he started ringing my phone & messaging me - I told him I don’t mind meeting but to just keep it casual the way he wanted, but I am not even sure if me and him is what I want anymore after posting on here & from the advise I’ve been given. I have booked a hotel room just incase I might meet him but I am still in two minds. Now I’ve taken what everyone has said in to account and now I have woken up in a sort of different mind set. I just feel like if I do go to meet him everything will just go downhill but then part of me thinks maybe it might not I really don’t know what I am going to do but Thankyou everyone for your help & opinions I have been on the phone to my GP this morning to talk about my medication maybe getting it changed + to seek councilling & I have a call back for this afternoon.

OP posts:

GreyCarpet · 15/11/2024 06:29

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 14/11/2024 17:55

She will.

And she'll get pregnant.

And she'll stay with him while he treats her like shit.

And she'll post one day how she's trapped with three kids with a man who abuses her and she's got no access to money and no way to leave and he shouts abuse at the kids but she loves him and can anyone help her get him to understand what he's doing is not OK.

And she'll say apart from that, he's an amazing dad who loves his kids.

Show quote history

Yeah, I know... 🙄

GreyCarpet · 15/11/2024 06:27

I literally can’t even help it

You literally can. You're just literally choosing not to.

You block his number, delete it and it's done. But you won't do that will you?

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 14/11/2024 22:33

He doesn't sound like the sweetest person ever. He sounds nasty and out of control. Best avoided.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 14/11/2024 22:27

Oh for fuck's sake, how many more threads are you going to start about imaginary men you've known for a month?

Stop posting this shit and search out some help, you really need it

CactusSammy · 14/11/2024 22:18

YourTealMaker · 14/11/2024 18:44

We only talk through Snapchat, he has had no phone so hardly any contact this week - I posted these messages because the rest of them delete after 24 hours

I'm guessing you're pretty young. Please take heed of all the good advice you have received. You absolutely will look back and regret it if you don't.

Beastiesandthebeauty · 14/11/2024 22:05

Darling please please pause. Grow yourself, a man that treats you RIGHT will come at the right time

WigglyVonWaggly · 14/11/2024 21:50

I mean all of this kindly. Your self esteem is damaged from your abusive relationship. You want to feel safe and loved. This man is being truthful about his lack of genuine interest in you for anything other than sex. He doesn’t want a relationship. He doesn’t have any respect for you. He’s not kind and he’s not caring. He’s got an unpleasant temper. All he wants is a shag and he is spelling that out.

For your own self esteem and mental health you need to stop adding more damage to your existing damage. The longer you seek love from him, the more he’ll hurt you.

Block him. Invest your energy in someone who’ll be good for you. Don’t have yet another shit man in your life.