New guy ignoring me

@YourTealMaker you've clearly had a very difficult life where people have treated you incredibly badly, abused you and hurt you. I think this means you are so accustomed to bad treatment that it feels familiar to you (not your fault, just a result of your experiences). I think this means that even though this man is treating you badly, because it's not as bad as the stuff you've been through in the past, your brain thinks he is OK and you are attracted to him. However you have an entire page of people telling you that what he has done not a appropriate way to behave and you deserve better.

I know it's hard to be believe us, but honestly we can see that you are falling for his trap and that this man is likely to be abusive and hurtful as well. I really don't think you should go to the hotel, I think it will all go down hill. I think you need to stay away from romantic relationships for a while so you can get some proper therapy.

@YourTealMaker I wish I could have you round mine for a cup of tea, some cake, a big hug and a long chat about how you are worth so much more than the people in your life thus far have treated you.

I’m so glad you’ve reached out to your GP. The first step towards a new you, a new life, and not being used and abused by scum who build themselves up by tearing you apart.

It won’t happen overnight but you can change the way you think of yourself. I don’t think a man is what you need right now, lovely.

He had a phone but he smashed it last week after we didn’t even up meeting. He ended up getting drunk at the pub and I don’t know what happened after but his phone ended up smashed so he walked to his brothers work and stood outside for half an hour to speak to me & now he keeps going round to his sisters to use her phone

I am having MEGA deja vu here

So after everything you have been through in your life up to this point - you have decided it's a good idea to book a hotel and buy a bottle of alcohol to go and meet a man who, after only meeting once before, has already been verbally abusive to you when drunk, called you horrible names and told you he isn't interested in you except for sex?

DO NOT GO. Block him, do not contact him again. Do not talk to any men, romatically, for a very long time. You're not ready.

You need to put all of your time and effort into you. You need therapy, you need to heal from everything that has happened, you need to develop strategies in the future to protect yourself from these kinds of relationships and toxic men. You need to learn about yourself and understand why you keep finding yourself in these situations so you can stop it happening.

Don't fucking go.

You might like him but he clearly is just not that into you. Why are you booking a hotel? You have a child for gods sake. Grow the hell up and listen to all the advice being given here.

Works and has his own place... but doesn't have a phone and is borrowing his friends/brothers? How can you believe any of this?

This man is actually repulsive. I can't even understand half of what I'm reading and I'm glad of it too as from the bits I can actually read, he sounds like an utter degenerate. You sound incredibly vulnerable OP.

If your expectations and standards are so low that this is attractive to you then you need to stop, step back and go and invest your time and money in real therapy. Find someone who will work with you to get to a better place where you are attracted to decent men. Decent men who will seem boring to you right now because your head is messed up from everything you've been through. Fix yourself, love yourself and THEN love someone else. You deserve better. If all these people on the internet unanimous agree that this man is scum then it has to go for something.

If you want to have any hope of escaping this cycle of abuse DO NOT SEE THIS MAN! He is another abuser. Everyone on here sees it. If you met him you will only get abused again. DO NOT MEET HIM.

You need to get a grip of yourself. You sound like a silly Little school girl and it's embarrassing.

He works and has his own place? Are you from a different planet or something because that's the norm that's expected from an adult

Sounds like you’ve been treated like shit all your life. And that’s why you seek it out -

I don’t know what to say reading your latest update. I feel so sorry for you and what you have been through. Your life has been very, very difficult.
I think you need to talk to your GP and camhs team urgently. You can break this cycle of self destructive behaviour, but it will need support and will not be easy.
As a small start I’d suggest you back out of tonight’s meet up. Be by yourself and do something to care for yourself, a bath, a film, a favourite meal. Tomorrow morning you will hopefully be able to congratulate yourself on not feeling used, sore and disappointed.
What happened in your life should never have happened to you, but from here on you do have the power to change your future, I wish you well.

Struggling to know what say here. You are going to end up so utterly lonely, dejected and miserable if you carry on talking to this person. He is gross. He’s not even pretending to be decent and you’re lapping it up.

Ask yourself honestly, is it him you like or is it the attention.

A man will not help you with any of this. Especially not this one. He’s going to make all the things you are not dealing with, much worse. Cut him off. Find a therapist. Then find the right man. You can do better. You will be fine.

STOP. You are really frustratingly making poor choices. Why are you enjoying or accepting the way he’s speaking to you. He’s talking to you like dog shit and genuinely telling you, that you’re nothing but a fuck. He doesn’t like you, he will never like you, he doesn’t care what you’re doing, nothings wrong with his phone he just doesn’t care to reply to you. Please, and I mean it kindly because I’ve been there. Get this into your head or you’re going to get your feelings and probably yourself very hurt. He’s telling you he’s a fuckboy. You’re not changing that any time soon and neither is he by the looks of it.

By you being willing to be his play thing he’s not going to get feelings for you miraculously. Stop ignoring the overwhelming number of people telling you this. You’re making things worse for yourself by using it as a crutch to support your last break up. It’s going to get worse when this one hurts you too. So go and heal from the last one or just stop posting.

You seem like a very genuine person but it will get you hurt.

If he has his own place why you booking a hotel?? Its women like you that makes men think they can treat us like shit! He's a full on twat

You know, most men who turn out to be hopeless users at least start with a bit of charm to get what they want. He doesn't even respect you enough to do that.

BTW, both your first names are clear in those texts (which you shouldn't have posted anyway) He is humiliating you and you are helping him. Grow up and find a bit of self worth.

Ok OP despite the unanimous opinion on here you’re determined to get fucked by a man who thinks you’re worthless and who just wants a warm hole to shoot his load into.

But hey crack on but don’t come back here in a few weeks crying that he’s ghosted you and treated you like shit on his shoe.

You seem determined to hit the self destruct button - don’t say you wasn’t warned

For goodness sake OP
This isn’t just fun no strings sex. He has talked to you so horribly. He has told you exactly what he’s like. And there you are still basically begging him. Why on earth are your standards so low! What has happened in your past for you to think so little of yourself?

People are just wasting their time trying to help you here.
You are determined to offer yourself up for a cheap fuck to a man who has nothing but contempt for you.

Been there. Done that. It's no way to live. But you'll carry on until you finally see sense. But by then the damage done will be far far greater.

But go. Go do it. You are determined to and the lived experiences of others and the advice of others will not sway you. You will have to go through it again just like you did with your ex and one day you will wonder why the hell you didn't listen.