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New guy ignoring me

289 replies

YourTealMaker · 14/11/2024 09:24

Hey, I have been talking with someone for around a month, he has been the sweetest person ever & made me so very happy! - however for the past week he has rarely popped up to my messages.
we got into a heated argument when he was drunk & he called me a slag & ugly & to look at the state of my self. Accused me of having a boyfriend ect … he didn’t speak to me the day after this & then he messaged me basically saying that the truth comes out when you’re drunk. I have tried to speak to him but he has been very blunt, I asked him if he wants to meet Friday to talk. He said he will pay for a hotel if I choose one but he isn’t inviting me to his because he said “ I am fragile” and I need something from him that he can’t give at the moment (not sure what this means) i really like him but I don’t think he feels the same way

OP posts:
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Catza · 14/11/2024 10:11

YourTealMaker · 14/11/2024 10:09

He was putting love you to me on messages, telling me he wants to make me his girlfriend, calling me his “girl” he would sit and speak to me for hours & let me know that he will always be there for me and that I can tell him anything. I don’t really open up much so I did start to open up to him, which made me emotional , he then sent me a voice note the next day basically mocking the way I was crying & then saying that he’s had it 10x worse than me - that I have no reason to even be crying about anything ect ect

All more reasons to bin him, surely

BleekHaus · 14/11/2024 10:11

Why are you still pursuing this when he called you ugly and a slag and told you to take a look at yourself?

CrispyCrumpets · 14/11/2024 10:10

Someone who gets drunk and verbally abuses you is really not a good catch.

CookieMonster28 · 14/11/2024 10:10

Please look at Lalalaletmeexplain on Instagram - she gives lots of good dating and relationship advice x

2chocolateoranges · 14/11/2024 10:09

He’s basically told you it’s just sex, open your eyes and ears to what he is saying.

he doesn’t like you the way you like him.

YourTealMaker · 14/11/2024 10:09

He was putting love you to me on messages, telling me he wants to make me his girlfriend, calling me his “girl” he would sit and speak to me for hours & let me know that he will always be there for me and that I can tell him anything. I don’t really open up much so I did start to open up to him, which made me emotional , he then sent me a voice note the next day basically mocking the way I was crying & then saying that he’s had it 10x worse than me - that I have no reason to even be crying about anything ect ect

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TheTruthICantSay · 14/11/2024 10:09

Bloody hell OP. He is being completely clear that he is not interested in you at all. He just wants sex. And you are practically begging him to love you. Which is a huge red flag too - you've met him ONCE.

Meanwhile, he has called you names and used verbally abusive language.

YOu need to put down the snapchat and stop dating. Your previous relatioship has clearly made you unable to see what is normal and appropriate. YOu need a break from dating and time to establish who you are and why you accept behaviour like this.

CRCGran · 14/11/2024 10:08

You've just left an abusive relationship... and you are desperate to enter into another one ???? This guy is seriously abusive. He's vile. He will never be anything else. He will always be an abuser. For goodness sake, run for your life, or you'll be on here again a year from now saying "I've just left an abusive relationship" !!!!

Goldengirl123 · 14/11/2024 10:04

He is going to use you for sec and you must see that you bare worth more than that? You are opening yourself up to more abuse. Please please just block him

twentysevendresses · 14/11/2024 10:04

Oh my! Girl you need some serious boundaries!!!! 🤦‍♀️😱🫨

HappyFitnessQueen · 14/11/2024 10:03

You need to do some work on yourself. Step away now and get some self-respect. He's telling you what he is - don't ignore it.

JWKD · 14/11/2024 10:01

You need to get away from this scumbag. The fact that you can't get him out of your head doesn't alter the fact that he is abusive. Just don't get involved. He will destroy your life.

The13thFairy · 14/11/2024 10:01

I have this theory that the only feelings, emotions etc we feel are our own. We don't fall in love with someone else so much as we fall in love with ourselves under the influence of / in proximity to / when we think about / are around the other person. "When I am with Joe I feel beautiful/ /clever / funny / engaging / tended to / sexy/ fascinating / buoyant ~ and I love feeling like this." This is what we call being in love with someone, if all goes well. But sometimes when we around Joe we feel ignored / disrespected / miserable / on tenterhooks / abandoned / frightened ~ and we love feeling like this, and we say we are in love with the person who causes these feelings in us. Op, I feel you are quite young, and you have learned to love those who hurt you. You can unlearn this, though. Look online for The Freedom Programme. There is a life where you don't need to be shat on from a great height in order to feel ok. Please take steps, baby steps at first if that's what you need, and move towards that life. All the best.

Eightdayz · 14/11/2024 10:01

You're coming across super needy in your "for context" update tbh

Beamur · 14/11/2024 10:00

You would be unreasonable to pursue this relationship in any way.

DeloresVonCartier · 14/11/2024 10:00

You need to re-evaluate your definition of "the sweetest person ever".

OliviaRodrighost · 14/11/2024 09:59

@YourTealMaker Your previous abusive relationship has fucked you up mentally. You need help or you will continue the cycle. Look up The Freedom Programme. You need to be by yourself for a while, stop jumping into relationships with unsuitable men who are using you.

BlueEyes90 · 14/11/2024 09:59

YourTealMaker · 14/11/2024 09:54

* for context **

He just wants sex & he’s made that pretty clear.
Block & move on - you’ll only get your feelings hurt if you meet him Friday.
Also what he said when drunk was super rude - you’d want that forever? I don’t think so..

BodyKeepingScore · 14/11/2024 09:59

He’s being as explicit that he can be that he doesn’t want what you want and you’re begging like a lovesick teenager?

I don’t condone him having called you names but you’re equally as much of a red flag to be honest.

Eightdayz · 14/11/2024 09:58

Raise your bar.... a lot.

Generally the sweetest people ever don't call their girlfriends ugly slags

Get some self esteem ffs

Daschund · 14/11/2024 09:58

There is no context that shouldn't have you running like fuck.

BodyKeepingScore · 14/11/2024 09:56

YourTealMaker · 14/11/2024 09:54

* for context **

Jesus Christ you’re asking someone you just met to be be the love of your life?!

Menopausalhatred · 14/11/2024 09:56

Have some self respect, he's just not that into you and you're coming across as begging for any type of attention.

YourTealMaker · 14/11/2024 09:54

* for context **

New guy ignoring me
New guy ignoring me
OP posts:
DeepRoseFish · 14/11/2024 09:52

I can’t believe I’m reading this. Block him now and move on.

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