To feel bad for the new employee at work

i agree. it's a dick move to use the information they prised out of her, as a stick to beat her with. people like this will always find someone to pick on, because they aren't happy unless they are pulling someone else apart and the reason why won't matter. the same type of people who moan about someone else getting adjustments for a medical condition, and they feel entitled to know every cough and sniff of that person's medical history.

sensible advice for her to not give them anything further, ignore any bitchy comments, and they'll get bored and move onto something else.

Her manager needs to be stepping in to stop the constant conversations about her. You say she’s on your team do you mean you’re her team leader? Or are you on the same team? If you’re the team lead step in, if you’re not have a word with your mutual team lead.

But she is not worthy of more protection in the workplace than others because she’s so rich. Constantly wearing obvious designer clothes and accessories in an environment where others don’t and most couldn’t afford to is a bit gauche.

Not sure why you'd reach that conclusion.

Bullies don't move on because they don't get a reaction. They dig in harder, and try and get more people to join them

You are determined to make it her fault rather than the bullies? Why is that? What do you think that says about you?

i said earlier in the thread that there's an old saying that you shouldn't ask questions if you might not like the answer you get.

I think the OP's colleagues did like the answers they got though. It has given them fuel for plenty more gossip, and that's what gossips love.

That's not what you were objecting to though. The OP said "Etonians", and you corrected her, saying she should have called them, "Old Etonians".

Everyone understood what the OP meant, including you.

What on earth is a 1.5 bed?

Honestly I'd pity people living in what's presumably a small shoebox for that price - and pity the people envious of them even more.

I'd rent it out and live somewhere bigger personally.

it's in op's updates. all she did was respond to people's questions. they know because she told them but the only reason she told them was because they were pressing her. op's colleague made a mistake volunteering as much information as she did, but she'll have learned from this.

i said earlier in the thread that there's an old saying that you shouldn't ask questions if you might not like the answer you get.

i worked with a graduate recently who i suspect is in a very similar position. she was a bit more guarded than op's colleague and i don't blame her. but it was obvious she wasn't a typical skint grad as she wore expensive clothes, had just come back from a lovely long haul holiday and drives a very nice car. i asked her where she'd been on holiday, she told me and all i said was it sounded lovely and i hoped she'd had a nice time. i didn't ask her for the name of the resort, or how she got there, or how she afforded the trip, and i didn't then sit and speculate about where her financial set-up has come from. it's none of my business, and it's not going to make me feel any better - or change anything in my life - to sit and be bitter over someone else's good fortune.

@TarantinoIsAMisogynist , a stick up your arse about!?. How charming. There's a tendency to accuse some privately-educated politicians of having been to Eton, when they haven't, which in this case, the OP didn't do.

You think a new graduate "chipping in with a mate/bf" or getting a mortgage (because obviously if you "chip in" with someone the mortgage wouldn't be needed) could easily buy a £2m flat, and that wouldn't be an unusual talking point?

What the actual fuck?

Because our economy is so London-centric that having family in the south east in a place that is commutable to London is a massive advantage for young people in pretty much every industry.

The ones who grew up in the north east can’t live at home in their early 20s while they establish their careers in London like many young people do today. North west would perhaps be commutable to Manchester which is second hub for the creative industries and many other workplaces. I guess OP could have said rural Wales!

Your colleagues need to look at the person and who she is and not where she comes from. She is privileged and very very fortunate - sounds like sour grapes from her (and your) colleagues.
Be her friend and refuse to listen or partake in any conversations about her even if it means speaking out or walking away. You like her as she is - that is great.

And? Let them.

They will soon move on to someone else if she doesn't give them the entertainment they're seeking.

She should probably keep quiet about that kind of privilege in the workplace, honestly. People are entitled to their opinions.

And they'd have drawn their own conclusions and also said she was too snobby to answer ordinary questions.
She couldn't win against a group like that

Given the OP's reference to Etonians, and flats worth £2m, she is obviously based in London.

Privileged Londoners often view the north as some kind of squalid, backwards dump, where everything is covered in soot and grime, and we all keep ferrets in our trousers. The north east is the furthest north you can get in England, so obviously that must be the grimiest and most backward.

(Not my view - I'm a northerner! But lots of privileged Londoners working in the kinds of jobs that attract Etonians have those kinds of parochial views.)

We have a receptionist who works 3 mornings a week - 18 hours.

She has just bought a 6 million dollar (3 million pound) house. No idea how she can afford it. But, she is lovely and reliable and everyone at work is happy for her. Jealousy is such a negative quality - I agree with others; call people out on it.

I don't think that if she's rich it's fine to bully her.

But I do think that she needs to learn what to share, and what not to share, with her colleagues. She could have shut the questions down and not engaged, and that is what she'll learn to do in future. Right now, she is obviously still young and naive enough to allow herself to be drawn in by gossips like this.

I'm not as privileged as this woman by a long shot, but even I know that just because someone asks you a personal question, you don't have to answer it.

Why is a “comp in the North East” used as an example of the lowest standard of education in your office? Why specify in the North East?

@MidnightBlossom well how did they know it was a mortgage free gift? If she had chipped in with a mate/bf or got a mortgage then it wouldn't be such a big wow that it cost 2 million, especially in London. But she told them it was a present!

Funny, down south I've never had a conversation about house prices except for passing comments about them being unaffordable.
Up north I've had loads of conversations with people asking directly how much and commenting about their neighbours/colleagues etc with negative reactions to expensive housing.

Obviously depends on the group you are in.

Sums up how envious and unpleasant some people can be very nicely

I think some of the people on this thread have the same bully mentality as the colleagues.

The attitude that she should have kept her mouth shut (bet if she hadn't answered they'd have assumed worse), and if she's that rich she'll not mind being bullied (really??!!) shows the unpleasantness of their characters more than anything else.

I agree. My husband’s family are all in the south east and their favourite topic of conversation is house prices and salaries 🥱🥱🥱I’m from the north west and no one cares. There’s more to life than money.

That's v sad and a real shame grown adults can be that petty and jealous.

However, she's also an adult and you can't, nor should you, protect her from it.

Sadly, along with privilege comes jealousy (from hopefully a minority) and she will need to learn to encounter this and manage it moving forward. She will have to face this throughout her adult life. She has some harsh lessons ahead, but all a learning curve.

I hope she can take solace and support it in her friends, and as she gets older and wiser she'll learn how to keep quiet about some things and share information a little more wisely.

Inverted snobbery reflects extremely badly on the people who practice it. Either challenge them or mention it to HR.