To feel bad for the new employee at work

I was just brought up that it’s very rude to quiz people on their financial situation. A phrase like “That’s for me to know and you to wonder” might be useful.

For those saying why would anyone in this situation work.
My sons gf is similar, she has a flat in Kensington gifted by her parents, her parents own a gorgeous house near Regent’s Park worth several millions. She works earning maybe 45/50k a year.

Her parents did own several companies at one point but cashed out and returned to salaried roles. Basically other than pensions all the money they have is in their properties. Her dad gives her a set amount each month to cover bills and to cushion her earnings but every time she earns more he takes some away and reduces his own hours. For sons GF working is needed. Might be the same for this girl.

@Lemonadeand This is a workplace not the local pub. Colleagues must be professional and fair to each other regardless of their personal opinions.

They are entitled to like her or dislike her based on her personality and actions, not her bank balance

OP, I think you should have a gentle chat with her but also see if you can gather some people to stand up to this men. Maybe your line manager?
They know exactly what they're doing by needling her. Unfortunately 'talking about people behind their backs' and 'asking personal questions' won't warrant any HR action otherwise everyone would be hauled over the coal daily.

OP - what industry do you work in? curious…

Good heavens, what a tiny miserable life she must have.

Am I the only one wondering, who are all these people not only looking so closely at what she's wearing, but can also recognise real designer wear? I mean, fakes are excellent these days
OP this is bullying.

@protectthesmallones She's isn't alienating her colleagues . It's a specific group of people that have a jealousy problem and are taking it out on here

Also, if you RTFT, these people are similarly privileged.

They might be using her to virtue signal about how woke etc they are. Just like all the anti private school parents on here who buy expensive houses in the catchment areas of good schools, give their kids house deposits and live a luxurious life. But like to claim that they value social mobility.

Object away, but objecting to one of THE most famous private schools being used as an example of private schools is pretty ridiculous!
Would you prefer Rugby, or Roedean, or Brighton College, or St Paul’s?? How about Harrow or Winchester or Hill House or Cheltenham??

And as for Eton being used in a derogatory way - well, you can blame that on our former ETON educated PM and his mates who right royally screwed over the ordinary people of this country, made ‘privately educated’ a dirty phrase synonymous with ‘ bit thick, over privileged, over confident, self interested, out of touch, buffoons who have no idea what it’s like to earn your position and opportunities.

We don’t know exactly who asked for or offered what information on this occasion . But if she isn’t being cross questioned she has a chance to steer the conversation away from her free flat.

This may be a distant relative’s daughter, same kind of setup.
What no one realises is that behind all that money is a lot of tragedy and insurance payments is basically where the wealth comes from. Her first class degree is her own making, no one could buy that for her. And she works because she wants to.
People are twats.

It sounds horrible for her
But sadly probably wise not to flaunt expensive clothes and accessories and be open about gifted very expensive flats. Shouldn’t be that way (inverted snobbery) but obviously it can lead to resentment and being “othered”

😂
And I thought the OP put this thread in for interest.
I'm in a similar position and stopped working at 25, never met anyone who would actually want to.

She's just very lucky.
People can still be nice to her.

It sounds like she didn't show off but answered questions honestly.

Would the mean colleagues be happier if she had lied?

Which makes you another person asking things that are none of your business. I hope you wouldn't ask that in real life!

@TarantinoIsAMisogynist , Eton is a town not a village.
I object to it being used as a derogatory term, or as a description of anyone educated at a private school.

Just stating facts. The tables are turning, all sorts of companies who previously courted the private school/Oxbridge/ I can afford to intern because mummy pays my rent types
have woken up to the fact that it really isn’t the way to get good, hardworking, smart employees who can relate to their clients. Unless you’re Coutts or Prada or similar.

Schemes are starting all over the corporate world and elsewhere to get high achieving school leavers and grads from lower socioeconomic backgrounds into position that would previously have only been for the privileged.
Now it’s people like OPs poor little rich girl who are being rejected. But being privileged she’ll be fine, there will be many other avenues open to her.

I'd have no problems with her privilege, it's obviously jealousy and anger from others.
My question would be, why does she need to work?
(Unless of course she wants to).

I think inherited wealth is one of those things that can really divide people. However generous and genuinely lovely she is.

Even though people will now appear equal at work you can't know someone's past.

You'll have people on your team who may have gone without meals as children. May have been often cold. Probably didn't have a good coat at school and were bullied for not having the right uniform. They probably went without more than you know.

She has come from a life of absolute privilege and unless she's had exceptional parenting, she really won't have a clue.

She's probably never had to decide between eating or heating. She's unlikely to have ever had to rewear an outfit because she couldn't do laundry. She's unlikely to have declined an invitation because she's broke.

In my life I've have close friends who are both extremes.

I'm generalising a lot but knowing the Oxbridge crowd, she's the type that will go skiing in the winter and on white sandy beaches in the summer with. It won't occur to her that others might be saving hard for a package holiday somewhere.

If you can gently gently guide her, do. Because even if it's not going to improve her situation where you are, it will help her in life.

I think the word I'm looking for is being gracious. She's alienating her work colleagues without knowing why.

Ah, so you thought people might have assumed that the OP was talking about people who'd come from the town of Eton, and wanted to ensure there was no misunderstanding?

Bollocks. Everyone understand what "Etonian" means, and nobody uses it to mean someone who comes from the town.

That guy is a dick. Who asks someone how they can afford a particular house “on their salary”?

I don't think it's her fault at all.

But I do think this is something she will need to learn from. She has a long life ahead of her, and will have to navigate many relationships with acquaintances and colleagues in the future - not all of whom will be nice people. Giving people a stick to beat you with isn't a good idea.

Right now, she's a naive fresh graduate. It won't take long before she is more guarded with people who, after all, are her colleagues, not her friends.

I queried the use of the term. As a comparison, 'Mancunian' and 'Old Mancunian' have different meanings.