To feel bad for the new employee at work

They’re just very jealous, I do get it, we’d all love that life or we think we would. Reality is she was probably under a lot of pressure to achieve from a young age. Maybe she attended a form of boarding school etc and was terribly homesick / her parents lived abroad etc, and was jealous of the kids that went home everyday to mum and dad. Maybe she masks or it has made her terribly driven and focused. Maybe she never wanted a career and wants to be a Mum.

no one knows anything really about people’s real life, goodness if she’s nice people be friends with her. Just be glad she’s not horrible as surely that would be worse?

stick up for her if you value her as a friend, this could be the start of a long professional relationship. You never know who will be where in ten years time.

Sounds like they are profiling her instead of taking the time to get to know her as a human being. Unfortunately some people are just like that, and those same people also have a tendency to compare and get jealous. It’s very petty and they’re acting like playground bullies. I’ve experienced a lot of it over the years because of my accent - I’m from a northern working class background but did well academically (= “swot” at school, obviously!) then moved away and lost my accent, and people just automatically assume that I’m posh and stuck up and privileged, none of which is true! I hope she is dealing with it ok as she sounds like a decent person, which is all that really matters.

She can't help what background she comes from, it's all she's known. The bullying colleagues sound awful. Report them.

I partly disagree. It depends how the information was revealed.and the context. Us women do like to chat after all! If others asked questions about where she lives, etc, she has answered honestly for example then, to me that’s her being open and honest about herself and who she is. Possibly a bit too much maybe but if she felt she was chatting amongst friends…..The bottom line is, none of this makes her a “bad” person and actually says more about the others with their unpleasant attitudes- wouldn’t want any of them as friends!

I think this girl was silly to reveal so much about her privileged life as people do get jealous and will try and make her life harder. This may be a life lesson for her. People at work don’t need to know what her flat is worth or that she got it as a gift or that it’s mortgage free. Who shares this much personal information with colleagues? It’s naive and short sighted.

She is young. The nasty response may be a learning opportunity for her to keep this to herself. Next time it may be people with much worse intentions who are hearing about her wealth.

This is misogyny and bullying. You can see it so call them out. It wouldn’t be justifiable but could be explainable if she wasn’t nice or was bragging. Mention to someone senior too. And really tackle the micro aggressions

I would speak to her and tell her to keep things private from now on. Some people cannot cope with others having more than them. It's ridiculous that they are working in wealth management and don't like other people having a lot of money.

Yeah they are pathetic and need to get a life and on with their work. It’s awful to be so jealous and puts them in a very bad light, especially to be carrying on this way in a professional environment, regardless of what their personal view may be on their own time.

You shouldn’t have to put up with them creating this toxic environment at work. It’s already affecting you. Certainly if they start to treat her poorly, I wouldn’t hesitate to out them to managers/HR - highlighting types of comments they have been making and how frequently/relentless it is.

@MariMiceMouse none of us choose wealth or poverty, we have it via birth. They both have drawbacks when growing up, poverty is worse imo, numerous well known reasons.
There are not many of us who would refuse a gift of a free apartment.
Ask her how she feels about the bullying and perhaps challenge the abusive system.

How am I rude? OP was clear none of the information was volunteered or flaunted.
It was obtained through a lot of probing, rude comments (is daddy paying the mortgage? Or no mortgage? - I bet no one would have asked a bloke that!) and assumptions made on google searches.
what was the young lady supposed to say? ‘No comment’? Lie? Being elusive? Then they’d be talking other rubbish about her.

Hiya,
so she sounds lovely and your colleagues are rubbish. She will have to navigate 👌🏼

Christ, you're rude. No, I don't, thanks.

But you clearly lack manners. I'm sorry for you.

Is she aware of her privilege and sensitive to the challenges others face who don't share her background? That would make a huge difference to me in how sorry I felt for her.

Given your industry, I'd consider saying to the worst offenders, if you can treat a colleague that way how can we trust you to treat our clients appropriately?

YANBU she can't control that she's inherited wealth anymore than they can control that they didn't. As you say she's sweet clever and funny and living in her means that just happen to be more than others.

Your colleagues sound jealous and bitter. How awful

Exactly this, inverted snobbery for sure, ugly jealousy and misogyny thrown in to boot

You could try just reading the op's updates? It tends to give a bit more information. The op was very clear that the information was not volunteered, but effectively extracted by cross examination and then by searching the internet.

Do you lack reading comprehension?

yes they are jealous and out of order. I would just say well I like her can’t see what your problem is unless you are jealous! They won’t want to admit it though

Lots of people feel bothered by privilege, which doesn't make sense because it's none of their business, but it's understandable. That doesn't give them the right to be callous, though. Feeling inadequate is one thing, having no character is a whole new ballgame.
Nevertheless, I agree with some people here that she shouldn't have blabbed about the 2mi flat. What was she trying to do? Establish her superiority? If you ask me, everyone has an agenda, she might have one too. I'd look more intently before taking any action.

Sounds like a mean bunch but also your new colleague also needs to be aware that disclosing her privileged position it will piss people off, rightly or wrongly. We are very comfortable and are in very secure financial position but I am very aware that I don’t need to share our position, it does it have to be divulged. No one at my work or friends know what we have in savings, in assets or income.

@MidnightBlossom I agree with you it shouldn't matter but I wouldn't tell people I was given a house when I first met them. People do get jealous of familial wealth. It's like a lottery winner. They feel the person hasn't earned it and doesn't necessarily deserve it. That's human nature sadly.

I would be challenging any nasty comments and defending her. We have an extremely privileged guy at work, he calls his dad one of the ‘idle rich’. We’re talking multiple houses abroad, multiple cars, daughter went to finishing school with European royalty. I find it fascinating how the other half live, but nobody is unpleasant to him. I’d be angry if I heard anything unpleasant. So should you be.

I couldn’t tell you where most of my colleagues went to uni or school but I can tell you who went to oxbridge or elite public schools - they don’t tend to be quiet about it!

This recent graduate aside, I find the fact that you and others know so much about your colleagues’ backgrounds and ‘privilege’ really unsettling actually. Is that normal culture in your industry? I wouldn’t have a clue about any of my colleagues and wouldn’t want to. At work we’re all equal.