Is OnlyFans a harmless outlet or am I right to be mad?

Yes. Some of the creators have free access pages which are intended to lure the viewers onto their paid sites, but in practice the free pages are just used by the men who don't want to pay for it 🙄
I know a few men who have accounts and only follow women who post free content.

Really?

Would he be ok with you looking up some men and doing the same thing? Maybe you should.

No big deal

His response is as/ even more problematic than the subscription. Has he always been this disrespectful and dismissive?

Like you said there, hes on a point system good lord

All men don't do this Find anotheri

This. It would cancel out everything else

tbf, "sex worker" encompasses people who make porn, too, not just those who have actual, in-person sex with others.

Being able to enjoy and capitalize on sexuality is empowering to women, but it's important that they themselves are choosing to do it, and that they also have the option to remain uh... non-sexualized, and still provide for themselves.

For me it would be the fact he fancied another woman enough that he would pay to see her. I couldn’t get past that.

I used to work with a young colleague who gave up a perfectly good job that was well paid to become an 'influencer' on Instagram, and went from taking pictures of herself in her knickers, to taking them off on OF because it was more lucrative. According to an ex-colleague she's a sex worker now (although I'd love to know how she would know that...).

A lot of young girls grow up watching pop stars in strippers gear bump and grinding and writhing around these days. Isn't supposed to be 'empowering' according to some feminists?... although I don't recall Alison Moyet or Annie Lennox turning up in just a thong in order to sing a song...

This would be an absolute dealbreaker for me, to the point where I’d end a decades-long marriage over it. It’s not the money, it’s what it says about how he views women. Yuck. Good on you for seeing it for what it is, OP.

So no sorry. Just go and find a monk.

No need to find a monk just a normal decent guy without a porn habit would be great.

Can't say I'd be thrilled but neither would it be a dealbreaker.

I love how he views not being a seedy, disgusting little pervert as a "monk". I've discussed this topic with male friends before and most of them view it as cheating and don't do it. And if they do they do it with the consent of their partner.

Watching the Barcelona MotoGP at the weekend and did a bit of a double take when I saw that OnlyFans is a US team sponsor…who knew 🤔

To me it's a bit different to watching porn. I think that some of the men actually do fall in 'lust' with the girls on there. Of course I guess it's the new version of 'sex chatlines' but with that you kind of knew the women on the other end were just housewives doing the ironing or something.
This is pretty much people watching eachother masturbate and dirty chat together. Some of them might also meet with clients? Or even if not it would make the guy more likely to want to act it out with a prossie that resembles them.
So yeah, it's grim.

You quoted what I'd posted so I assumed your comment was about what I'd said. I didn't realise your comment was aimed at OP's question.

Whilst the lack of communication is a huge concern, I will say that yes what he is saying is true - while OF subscribers can message the creators, that's not necessarily what happens. It may seem a more 'personal' type of pornography but the reality is that the successful creators have hundreds of thousands of subscribers. For a lot of people, OF is an easy way of accessing the specific kind if content they enjoy. It's not necessarily any different to subscribing to one of the bigger professional pornography providers ( I'm not a subscriber or a content creator, but my job means that this is something I am familiar with)

The main issue is the lack of communication and his unwillingness to discuss this further. It could be embarrassment or it could be something deeper. For some couples, pornography is something that they enjoy together or are open about enjoying separately. The fact that he chose to do this secretly and shut down any discussion around it when found out is a bigger red flag to me than the pornography.

I think whether it is acceptable to view porn, to pay for porn, or to engage in interactive porn (sexting, purchasing custom content) is one of the things that should be discussed early on in a relationship. Boundaries need to be set and respected. How do you feel about it?

Most men do watch porn, but I think it is seedy to purchase it without consulting your long term partner and to be so defensive when asked about it. It seems like he himself felt like he was doing it behind your back, and prepared an excuse for if he got "caught."

Not unreasonable at all.

The op asked if it was correct when her partner had said about only paying for the initial subscription for the $5

Not all men do this , my husband doesn't as he has plenty of hobbies and rest of his time he's at work or with me .

You've stated his use of OF has put you off him. Why would you stay if that's how you feel?
Whatever excuse or reason he gives, if you are not happy with this situation then that's the end of the relationship as far as I can see. Everyone has their red line. If this is yours, then he has crossed it. Do not be brow-beaten into thinking you have the problem.

Sorry but why is that relevant?
He is supposed to be in a monogamous relationship.

I'm actually slightly torn on this. My initial reaction was 'Ugh, that's vile, what a dickhead' but then when you think about it, the average porn site is full of women being exploited, often underage or abused women - at least OF you know it's women who are CHOOSING to be sex workers.

Having said that, I think there's a big difference between getting your rocks off to a pre recorded video and actively paying money to see specific content from a specific woman. Often there is much more to OF and the women will regularly.interact with their subscribers. That to me, doesn't sit right.

Ultimately, if it's crossed a boundary for you (and it's a boundary you have previously spoke about!) then he is absolutely in the wrong. If this is not something you have discussed before and where you stand on it, then I would make sure you sit down and have a clear discussion about what your boundaries are for this going forward.