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Original poster

Help - baby in car

31 replies

Merrygoround8 · 13/11/2024 21:23

Posting for any ideas/support!

My baby hates the car. Ever since she was 5 weeks old, every journey she screams until she can barely breathe. I honestly cannot face it but I have to do journeys for my other kids. The rest of the time I stay home or only go where I can walk and it’s really affecting my feeling of freedom now.

Has anyone had this? I am out of ideas. It is not the car seat, she’s happy to be in it as a buggy attachment.

We have tried the below, nothing makes a difference beyond about 3 mins.

  • different car seats
  • different cars
  • toys / music / distraction / YouTube baby sensory!
  • sitting next to her
  • being in the front (airbag off!)
  • mirrors
  • windows open / shut
  • Being fully fed / not fully fed in case queasy
  • just woken up / middle of wake window / sleepy

Perhaps the strangest part is that she is not a sensitive or highly strung baby. She is otherwsie very chirpy and relaxed!

Has anyone had this / did they grow out of it? She’s 4 months old so a way off being able to forward face, if that would even help.

Desperately hoping there is a magic solution I have missed or some reassurance this will pass soon…..

OP posts:
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Christwosheds · 06/07/2025 11:22

2Orangesandlemons · 13/11/2024 21:37

Had this for months!! Baby grew out of it on their own!

Same. Mine hated the car. We gradually got to a limit of twenty minutes, anything longer and she would cry. This went on for what seemed like an age.
Tried everything. I’d forgotten this but I would sit in the back, squashed between two car seats, trying to keep the smaller one entertained. Gradually it got better, but she must have been 12 months or so by then.

I wondered about reflux at the time, but there were no other signs of it.

Original poster
Merrygoround8 · 14/11/2024 04:39

ChimpiestoftheChimps · 13/11/2024 23:27

Absolute sympathy, my 4 month old is the same. I've resorted to the picture of me in the back, but it hasn't made much difference!
Have tried the same as you (car seats, me in the back, singing, etc etc).
My next things to try are 1. Removing the mirror as apparently 'reducing stimulation' might help?! 2. Car sickness bands/travel bands 3. A muslin that smells like me
Things that made a bit of difference - time of day (better in the morning, fed, clean nappy, about to have a nap), car seat - changed from infant carriers (tried two) to joie stages which is higher up and doesn't have a hood (didn't solve problem but has made morning trips more tolerable). The happy song by imogen heap (worked at the beginning but no longer). None have solved the problem but have made slight improvements.
Mostly I just walk a lot and have called in favours for getting my older child to activities etc as the baby is a disaster in the car after school.

Thank you!
Sounds very similar…. Afternoons worse here too. I can just about get 7mins out of her with just mild moaning in the morning before it kicks off. Yesterday afternoon I hadn’t made it out my driveway before it got bad, I had to pull over halfway through a 7 min journey to let her catch her breath. It’s awful as it feels like it spoils the day for everyone. My older kids get in the car and I can’t chat to them or ask about their day, and as soon as we get home I have to immediately calm the baby down (which is taking longer and longer now) rather than give them any attention at all!

OP posts:
Original poster
Merrygoround8 · 14/11/2024 04:34

KenAdams · 13/11/2024 23:15

Could it be reflux?

I would be surprised….. no other symptoms of this whatsoever, or any discomfort during the day even! Happy before/during/after feeds! It’s so strange.

OP posts:
ChimpiestoftheChimps · 13/11/2024 23:27

Absolute sympathy, my 4 month old is the same. I've resorted to the picture of me in the back, but it hasn't made much difference!
Have tried the same as you (car seats, me in the back, singing, etc etc).
My next things to try are 1. Removing the mirror as apparently 'reducing stimulation' might help?! 2. Car sickness bands/travel bands 3. A muslin that smells like me
Things that made a bit of difference - time of day (better in the morning, fed, clean nappy, about to have a nap), car seat - changed from infant carriers (tried two) to joie stages which is higher up and doesn't have a hood (didn't solve problem but has made morning trips more tolerable). The happy song by imogen heap (worked at the beginning but no longer). None have solved the problem but have made slight improvements.
Mostly I just walk a lot and have called in favours for getting my older child to activities etc as the baby is a disaster in the car after school.

KenAdams · 13/11/2024 23:15

Could it be reflux?

Strugglingteacher · 13/11/2024 23:13

My now 3 year old was like this and it was awful. If I timed it carefully though (when she was tired but not over-tired) she would sometimes fall asleep so I used to try plan everything around that. I also used to get into the back while she was in her car seat and lean over and breastfeed her until she fell asleep before going somewhere sometimes.

Mwnci123 · 13/11/2024 23:09

One of mine was like this. Eased off when she was about two. Sorry!

Original poster
Merrygoround8 · 13/11/2024 22:35

Thanks for replies.

I had wondered if it is car sickness but we have never gone on long enough for her to actually be sick.

The crying is “I’m in mortal peril” not just moaning.

Our car is EV and does seem to be worse but she is bad in all cars I have tried (grandparents etc). I have also tried various seats including the maxi cosi and Joie (she is big so can go in this with the inserts).

I will give a picture of me a go, but it almost makes it worse when I sit next to her - almost like “you’re looking right at me, why won’t you help” so the screaming gets worse.

Glad to know I’m not alone. Feels like everyone else has these babies that just plonk and nod off in the car! It’s so restrictive. I’ve spent so many hours walking and on the bus/train (where she is fine, even sat rear facing!) but some times you just need the car.

OP posts:
DinosaurMunch · 13/11/2024 22:28

I didn't drive anywhere for 18 months, unless unavoidable. Very stressful. I think they eventually just grow out of it.

Autumnweddingguest · 13/11/2024 22:28

AngelinaFibres · 13/11/2024 21:54

I saw a tik tok video of a baby in a rear facing seat with an A4 photo of mummy stuck to the back seat. No photo...baby screamed itself purple. Photo of mummy to look at. ..peaceful, happy baby.

That has to be worth a go.

pambeesleyhalpert · 13/11/2024 22:28

JellyTipisthebest · 13/11/2024 21:57

If it is it an EV car or a hybrid? Some people can hear a high-pitched noise that they find annoying. You could try a ride in a different car.
Is the seat belt on an Isofix base, if it is try strapping it in instead ( as long as its possible} as it may be the angle it sits at or the vibrations through the base

Funnily I have both and I haven't noticed a difference but that's really interesting!

pambeesleyhalpert · 13/11/2024 22:26

My first baby hated the car but grew out of it quite quickly. My second baby is 7 months and still not a fan

pambeesleyhalpert · 13/11/2024 22:26

This could be my baby. So happy hut as soon as her bum hits the seat she cries. We started with the cybex and now have the maxi cosi. I always have her up front with me so I can try and distract her at least

coffeesaveslives · 13/11/2024 22:25

Car sickness? For lots of people it only stops if they can forward face, unfortunately. I still can't ride backwards on a train without getting sick and I'm 35!

DeepRoseFish · 13/11/2024 22:23

Joie 360 worked for mine. Preferred it to infant seat.

BoredOfCbeebies · 13/11/2024 22:10

Both mine hated the car but eventually grew out of it. When they were older, it was the only way to actually get them to nap, so total reverse!

BarbaraHoward · 13/11/2024 22:03

We had this too. My family are 2.5 hours away and she'd scream for 40 minutes and then pass out. Awful. She had silent reflux so it may have been connected to that, but the car seat hatred lasted much longer than the reflux symptoms.

She got better at 1 when we moved car into the Joie 360 seat, I think she liked being more upright. And then we swapped her to FF at 2 and she's been mostly ok since then, aside from very occasional car sickness.

We think it was car sickness when she was a baby given she still gets it a bit now she's older.

AgileGreenSeal · 13/11/2024 21:59

2Orangesandlemons · 13/11/2024 21:37

Had this for months!! Baby grew out of it on their own!

Same.

JellyTipisthebest · 13/11/2024 21:57

If it is it an EV car or a hybrid? Some people can hear a high-pitched noise that they find annoying. You could try a ride in a different car.
Is the seat belt on an Isofix base, if it is try strapping it in instead ( as long as its possible} as it may be the angle it sits at or the vibrations through the base

Motherofdragons20 · 13/11/2024 21:57

My second was like this, honestly it was awful, absolutely nothing helped, he started to get better about 8 months when I switched him to the joie 360 which was a bit more upright, but that might not be an option for you for a few months yet, he really hated the infant car seat. TBH he still doesn’t love the car at 18 months but he is much better than he was. I feel for you, it’s terrible trying to drive with a screaming baby the full time. I used to drive with one earphone in so I could zone out of the screaming (not sure how safe this is when driving to be honest but if felt safer than listening to him).

VanillaPlanifolia · 13/11/2024 21:55

Can you try the bus?

Orangeoranges42 · 13/11/2024 21:55

No solution but lots of sympathy what a pain.
Sounds like you’ve tried everything too.

AngelinaFibres · 13/11/2024 21:54

I saw a tik tok video of a baby in a rear facing seat with an A4 photo of mummy stuck to the back seat. No photo...baby screamed itself purple. Photo of mummy to look at. ..peaceful, happy baby.

SquawkerTexasRanger · 13/11/2024 21:45

My two were the same. A lot of the time it was because they were tired but wanted to lie flat to sleep. So they screamed their heads off as they were upright in the car seat.

You can get lie flat car seats but they grow out of them quickly