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AIBU?

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Original poster

Considering sending my child to a predominantly South Asian school

133 replies

billiegoat · 13/11/2024 21:18

Our local primary school (in a very predominantly White Home Counties town) is probably the only school with a South Asian ethnic majority. I'd say 70% of the children are South Asian. I really like the school and we could walk there so I think it will be the one for us.

I wondered if there was anything I needed to consider in terms of culture and inclusivity etc.

For example - will the other mums be open to getting to know me (white British) and forming friendships?

Will there be play dates and birthday parties?

Anything else I should consider?

Sorry if this sounds ignorant or rude - I don't mean to at ALL - just want to make the right choice. I think I felt a bit worried during the show around being the only white British mum that we might be a bit left out...!

OP posts:
NotColdNotFrozen · 13/11/2024 21:36

We did get some comments about birthday parties that we held.. “Can we make sure no boys are invited as my dad doesn’t like this?”

I think this was just this cohort though and find lots of Asian people very friendly towards me. It really depe

Snorlaxo · 13/11/2024 21:35

Are the parents general first generation immigrants or been in the UK a while ? I’m generalizing here but the ones who have been in the UK for more than one generation are just as keen to make friends etc as other races

Original poster
billiegoat · 13/11/2024 21:34

@Lentilweaver thank you!

What do you mean by tiger parents?

I was so impressed with all the kids when we looked around. Wonderful young people

OP posts:
Bushmillsbabe · 13/11/2024 21:34

Same experience as above, my daughter was one of very few white children at her first primary, and was excluded by other children talking in Arabic or Punjabi during breaktimes etc, there was also some racist language used towards her. So we moved her to a different school which was much more inclusive.

Original poster
billiegoat · 13/11/2024 21:33

@NotColdNotFrozen oh this is my concern. I am excited for the school experience and want to be fully immersed and involved

OP posts:
NotColdNotFrozen · 13/11/2024 21:33

The school was good and the children were happy so I didn’t worry about that too much, but I didn’t have friends. And there was no WhatsApp group that I was ever aware of.

Lentilweaver · 13/11/2024 21:31

I am S Asian. It's quite a catchall term for a diverse range of people of different cultures, and it's hard to generalise.

Many or most of my DC's friends are white British. They went to all the play dates and birthday parties. Now they are grown, they have had white British girlfriends and boyfriends. I am possibly a bit of an anomaly as I am not religious, and I am not keen on only hanging out with people who look like me.

Generalising a bit, I think the school may be competitive as S Asians tend to be tiger parents! On the plus side, the DC will likely be very hard-working. ( This isn't to say that white British children are not hard workingl).

NotColdNotFrozen · 13/11/2024 21:27

I am sure it depends on culture and local area but in mine (where my child was one of only two white children in the class), there were very few birthday parties and maybe a handful of play dates the whole time my children were at that school (about five years). I didn’t really make any mum friends bar one or two. The mums all knew eadyorget and would address eachother with an Islamic greeting but I was never ever part of the social scene.