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Finding out Santa isn’t real…

38 replies

Drowthy · 13/11/2024 20:56

I have 3 DC. One just turned 10 and I’m not entirely sure if he still ‘believes’. Just wondering how you found out he wasn’t real, or how your DC found out…

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Differentstarts · 13/11/2024 22:07

JC03745 · 13/11/2024 21:35

A much older cousin told me outright! She was about 18 and I was 6.

My mum had been hit by a car and the cousin came to mind me while dad went to the hospital. I have no idea why she said that- but I never believed after that day 😔

Wtf Omg your mum got hit by a car and your cousin thought that was a good time to tell you santa wasn't real. Talk about a bad day

Wardrobebirth · 13/11/2024 22:03

gannett · 13/11/2024 21:35

I don't remember ever believing. As far back as I can remember I read stories and myths and I think I automatically just put Santa into that category.

One of my earliest school memories is telling my primary school class Santa didn't exist, because I thought they should know the truth. That went down very badly.

When I was 6 I told my religious parents God didn't exist and that went down even worse (and that battle went on much longer).

I was much the same. I think a lot of children are actually just pretending to believe. When my daughter was about eight she told me that she knew for sure that Father Christmas wasn’t real - and that I should just admit it - so, in the end, I did. Then she got cross with me saying I shouldn’t have told her and that I had ruined it. I said, “But you knew it wasn’t true,” and she said, “Yes, but it was still fun pretending!”

SpidersAreShitheads · 13/11/2024 21:55

I have 15 yr old twins and they still believe 😂🤷‍♀️

Both autistic. DS has quite high needs, DD has some capacity for critical thinking but doesn’t seem to have figured it out yet (but I think she’s starting to doubt).

The hardest thing is stopping random people letting it out of the bag because understandably at age 15, they expect children to know!

kikisparks · 13/11/2024 21:46

4/5 is so young! You only get one maybe two Christmases where they actually believe.

I was 11 and DH says he was about the same age when he stopped believing, we have no special needs and are (as far as I can tell) neurotypical. I was however quite sheltered, naive, head in the clouds a bit, with a strong imagination and a love of the “magic” of Christmas, maybe some of that factored in, but I have suffered no ill effects from believing a bit longer than average, I had a wonderful time and so many magical Christmases. I’d love for DD to believe to age 9 or 10 as I have lovely memories for myself but obviously I have no control over that. In any event I remember loving the Christmas I was 13 when I got more “grown up” gifts so it doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy Christmas just because you don’t believe.

Floralnomad · 13/11/2024 21:44

cantkeepawayforever · 13/11/2024 21:36

Father Christmas has always been a ‘fantastic story to tell and make-believe at Christmas time’ in this household. Bonus is that everyone loves make-believe right up to adulthood so we all still have stockings on Christmas morning, secretly appearing outside rooms overnight.

This is how we did it and our kids are now adults and both still love Christmas as much as ever .

OnNaturesCourse · 13/11/2024 21:43

I was 11 when I admitted it to myself.

I'd heard whispers and chat from other kids (and one teacher who said to the class "if you still believe...") and had picked up on a few things from adults etc. Started to realise films used actors I recognised as Santa. Basically put it all together.

I would say all of the above maybe came into play over the course of 2 years or so it wasn't a dramatic thing for me, more of a gradual growing up thing.

Still to this day I've never had the chat with my parents about it and I still get my presents "From Santa" 😂🎅

BendingSpoons · 13/11/2024 21:42

My DD is 8. She asked lots of questions when she was about 4, and DH didn't like the idea of lying about it, so we told her a 'soft' version of the truth, basically along the lines of it's a story but it's fun, people like to believe etc.

By next year she seemed to have forgotten this discussion and gone back to believing in Father Christmas! She loves all things magical and imaginary - had imaginary friends for years, would love unicorns to exist, so I'm not sure she fully believes but enjoys buying in to the fairy tale.

It's the same thing with the tooth fairy and the elf. I didn't really want either of them as a 'thing' in our house but she was really keen. Last year she firmly asked me if it was me moving the elf. I said yes it was, and she went straight back to acting as if she fully believed in it.

SummerBaby2020 · 13/11/2024 21:39

My brother 8 told me when I was 5 on Xmas eve because I was loosing my shit with him telling him if he didn’t get off his sega that Santa wouldn’t come and he wouldn’t get his PlayStation he asked for.

I’m not going to lie, it was a harsh way of finding it out. I would have much preferred to have been told by friends or figured it out on my own 😔 same brother smacked me on the head with a house brick that next summer by accident….get the feeling he wasn’t my biggest fan at that age 😂

Didimum · 13/11/2024 21:39

I was extremely young, I don’t recall memories of actually believing. My 6yr old seems to be following in my footsteps and questions me a lot about his validity … my DH had to be sat down and told before he started secondary school and it’s a horrible, upsetting memory for him.

For these reasons I don’t give two hoots about Santa and we build our Christmas ’magic’ around far more important things.

GlitteryUnicornSparkles · 13/11/2024 21:38

I found out because my cousin was staying with us over christmas and we had a falling out and she told me literally on christmas eve out of spite, obviously my mum used it as an opportunity to tell me she was right, I was gutted and it completely ruined my excitement! I was probably about 9 or 10.

My son made a comment that someone at school had told him Santa wasn’t real when he was about 7 and I wanted the magic to go on a little longer. A couple of years later when he lost a tooth and I mentioned the tooth fairy he bluntly told me the tooth fairy wasn’t real it was made up by parents and I could just give him the money now if I liked!, I took it as my opportunity and said ‘speaking of people who aren’t real, their might be someone else who’s not really real too’ and he replied with ‘yeah Santa!’ He said he’d known for a while but just went along with it for my benefit. He’s 15 now and even though we both know he knows I still tell him every year that Santa won’t come if he hasn’t been a good boy!

cantkeepawayforever · 13/11/2024 21:36

Father Christmas has always been a ‘fantastic story to tell and make-believe at Christmas time’ in this household. Bonus is that everyone loves make-believe right up to adulthood so we all still have stockings on Christmas morning, secretly appearing outside rooms overnight.

JC03745 · 13/11/2024 21:35

A much older cousin told me outright! She was about 18 and I was 6.

My mum had been hit by a car and the cousin came to mind me while dad went to the hospital. I have no idea why she said that- but I never believed after that day 😔

gannett · 13/11/2024 21:35

I don't remember ever believing. As far back as I can remember I read stories and myths and I think I automatically just put Santa into that category.

One of my earliest school memories is telling my primary school class Santa didn't exist, because I thought they should know the truth. That went down very badly.

When I was 6 I told my religious parents God didn't exist and that went down even worse (and that battle went on much longer).

Cece92 · 13/11/2024 21:34

My mum asked me to get something from her room stupidly and I found the presents (weren't exactly hidden) my daughters 11 and she did mention last year Santa wasn't real. I said 'well if you don't believe in Santa see what happens when you wake up with no presents' she definitely doesn't believe this year. People at school have told her he isn't real and she asked me and I just said what do you think? And she said I don't think he's real but she still wants to make Christmas cookies for him 🥺 pretty sad but we won't change how we do things plus she's been placed under strict instruction she says nothing to anyone about it xxxx

extrasanta · 13/11/2024 21:33

Gosh my 8 year old announced yesterday that he wasn't real and wasn't convinced by anything i said (have a 4 year old too). I thought it was quite young as other older kids in family believe (age 10).
People talk about "the magic of christmas" which i think is very twee, but It's one of those things that you don't realise at the time is the last one !

Snorlaxo · 13/11/2024 21:32

My so asked me outright and I confirmed that his reasoning was correct. (If FC was real then he would bring loads to poor kids and maybe just a gift or two to rich kids so you wouldn’t need charity appeals for kids gifts) They agreed to pretend that they didn’t know in front of others who might still believed.

HoHoHoliday · 13/11/2024 21:31

I was out shopping with my mum when she bought a dress for my sister. The dress turned up in my sack of Father Christmas gifts and my sister never had it. I was already starting to doubt but that sealed it for me. Think I was about 9 years old then.

QwestSprout · 13/11/2024 21:31

I was told when I was 2 that he wasn't real. People tend to be horrified by that but I think I'm glad I never had to believe something that turned out to be disappointingly untrue.

ilovesooty · 13/11/2024 21:30

I'd figured it out when I was 6. My sister had just turned 4 so I told her. It didn't go down well. 🙄

CrushingOnRubies · 13/11/2024 21:29

Think I figured it out by 9. But didn't tell my parents I knew for a good couple of years, on the fear o wouldn't get presents

Soonenough · 13/11/2024 21:25

Whaaaaaaat??🎅 😱😭😭😭

Mandylovescandy · 13/11/2024 21:24

My 8 year old I think still believes it or very much wants to. He just told me at bedtime that it was impossible but it had to be true and explained that people like santa and the tooth fairy were so kind that they were given magical powers. It was so sweet. I feel a little bad that he is getting quite old and I should maybe tell him but am not planning to this year. A friends DC at similar age stated he didn't believe in it and she sat him down and enrolled him keeping the magic of Christmas going for their younger DC

Moonlightstars · 13/11/2024 21:23

mm81736 · 13/11/2024 21:13

Yeah. IRL it's only small children ( like 6 or under) that believe.I wonder when I read MN 's 8 to 10 year olds believing g, who is kidding who.

Honestly mine believed to about 9 but I am fucking good actress 😂
I mean people believe in all of these different religions and they can't all be right. Believing in something beyond the age of five or six isn't that unusual it's done by billions of adults.

Pickingmyselfup · 13/11/2024 21:22

My 9 year old told me he knew he wasn't real a couple of months ago, said he just figured it out.

His brother who is 7 is naturally more suspicious and I wouldn't be surprised if he's just pretending but he's not said anything so we are still going with the whole Santa thing until he actually tells me he knows he's not real.

I can't remember how I found out but I was definitely primary school age. However I found out it wasn't a massive deal because I don't remember it.

Tinybirdie · 13/11/2024 21:20

My 10 year old still believes!