To think that people using GoFundMe for personal life choices, like weddings or holidays, is tacky?

ThatPoisedNewt · 2024-11-13T18:14:29+00:00

Everyone seems to be crowdfunding everything these days. AIBU to think it’s inappropriate to ask people to fund personal indulgences?

PurebredRacingUnicorn · 18/11/2024 13:28

Bananalanacake · 14/11/2024 18:11

If you don't ask you don't get.

And sometimes, you really shouldn't.

thecherryfox · 17/11/2024 23:21

sunshineandshowers21 · 14/11/2024 13:11

someone i went to uni with has a go fund me set up at the moment to privately fund ‘gender affirming surgery.’ they share it relentlessly on every form of social media and have taken to privately messaging people to guilt them for not donating 🙄

I know someone like this, he is transgender (female to male) and moved from a European country to the uk for uni. He couldn’t pay for testosterone so started a go fund me where people would pay for his prescription and was pleading poverty on social media claiming he couldn’t eat. In the next breath, was posting photos where he was smoking and partying and getting takeaways. People take advantage of other people’s kindness and feel no shame or remorse

thecherryfox · 17/11/2024 23:16

It’s so easy to scam people regardless what it is. My fled from my abusive ex during pregnancy as he was threatening to m**der me. For my baby’s protection, I didn’t allow contact with him - so my ex started a ‘daddies matter’ go fund me to pay for his legal fees for court. He milked people into believing he was the victim and they all felt sorry for him!- so he raked the money in. It was awful knowing the truth and having to sit back and watch him profit from something he caused.

Be wary about who you donate to as ‘scammers’ are closer to home than you think.

Bigcat25 · 17/11/2024 23:05

@coldcallerbaiter : Someone contributed $100.00 but I don't know who. That was their only donation. Probably her mom to get the ball rolling! I shouldn't speak badly of her as she had some health issues.

coldcallerbaiter · 17/11/2024 17:39

Bigcat25 · 13/11/2024 18:45

100 percent. I had a client who set up one for a downpayment for her and her husband so they could ''give her parents their space back."

AKA a house deposit for them? The nerve. Who contributed? I would pmsl.

fruitypancake · 17/11/2024 17:36

Agree

Foy19 · 17/11/2024 16:55

Someone whose partner suddenly died nearly a year ago leaving them a single parent opened a GoFundMe to help cover the cost of the funeral etc. The target was £5k and was massively exceeded by at least twice that, and is still open...just seems really grabby to me to still have it open ...

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 14/11/2024 21:46

BobbyBiscuits · 14/11/2024 21:08

@LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway @idrinkandiknowthings thanks both! Loving both your usernames btw! 😁

😘

BobbyBiscuits · 14/11/2024 21:08

@LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway @idrinkandiknowthings thanks both! Loving both your usernames btw! 😁

AnotherChildFreeCatLady · 14/11/2024 19:31

Very tacky, but also something to be said about the idiots who give them money. If you can manipulate people into paying for something for you then why not, I suppose.

Bananalanacake · 14/11/2024 18:11

If you don't ask you don't get.

Yesterdayyesterday · 14/11/2024 15:31

Agreed. I sent a friend a message just to check in and see how she was. I asked if she had any plans for her upcoming 40th. She replied with a link to a GoFund me.

ToWhitToWhoo · 14/11/2024 15:28

Well, I suppose it is; but no one is forced to donate. I doubt that many do donate (I suppose you might if you're the person's mum or something; but you'd hardly need a gofundme in that case!|)

TofuTart · 14/11/2024 13:48

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 14/11/2024 10:57

As I just said...

It's not just a case of people 'not forcing you to donate.' Many people feel badgered, mithered, and sometimes bullied into 'giving.' I have experienced it myself, and so have many others if you read through the replies on this thread.

Show quote history

That's different altogether though, if they're bullying or mithering you.
That's never OK regardless of the subject.

MrsSunshine2b · 14/11/2024 13:43

Yes, it's tacky af.

I will probably get a lot of flack for this but I don't like the ones raising money for dog cancer treatment either. Trying to get £5k out of your friends so you can put your 11 yo dog through chemo just doesn't sit right with me.

PurebredRacingUnicorn · 14/11/2024 13:35

Shame is almost completely out of fashion. Just look at what's happening in politics.

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 14/11/2024 13:28

sunshineandshowers21 · 14/11/2024 13:11

someone i went to uni with has a go fund me set up at the moment to privately fund ‘gender affirming surgery.’ they share it relentlessly on every form of social media and have taken to privately messaging people to guilt them for not donating 🙄

This is the kind of thing I (and some others) have been on about. (When people are saying 'what's the big deal, they're not forcing you to donate!') People don't just 'ask' - they mither and badger people, and in some cases they bully and intimidate. Case in point, the OP further back who said a colleague kept messaging them and other people, saying 'come on, just give £20, it's for chaarrrideee!' 🙄

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 14/11/2024 13:21

idrinkandiknowthings · 14/11/2024 13:15

I know someone who has a son with CF and launched a GFM page for money for his physio. Fine, except she was very much not short of money, neither were her parents and her grandparents even less so. It rankled. Particularly when photos of them all jetting off on holiday en masse were posted on social media.

It's amazing how many people who are loaded (and could afford it!) beg money off people! Maybe that's why they're loaded! 😂

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 14/11/2024 13:20

BobbyBiscuits · 14/11/2024 13:08

I wish I had the brass balls to do a crowdfunder. But I don't really know anyone. I'm not on SM and it would be to get a surgery I require due to suffering from DV. So I would have to basically tell the world my sob stories which is so traumatic I could barely tell a psychiatrist.
So I wouldn't do it. I could definitely do with the money though!

idrinkandiknowthings · 14/11/2024 13:17

BobbyBiscuits · 14/11/2024 13:08

I wish I had the brass balls to do a crowdfunder. But I don't really know anyone. I'm not on SM and it would be to get a surgery I require due to suffering from DV. So I would have to basically tell the world my sob stories which is so traumatic I could barely tell a psychiatrist.
So I wouldn't do it. I could definitely do with the money though!

hugs

idrinkandiknowthings · 14/11/2024 13:15

I know someone who has a son with CF and launched a GFM page for money for his physio. Fine, except she was very much not short of money, neither were her parents and her grandparents even less so. It rankled. Particularly when photos of them all jetting off on holiday en masse were posted on social media.

sunshineandshowers21 · 14/11/2024 13:11

someone i went to uni with has a go fund me set up at the moment to privately fund ‘gender affirming surgery.’ they share it relentlessly on every form of social media and have taken to privately messaging people to guilt them for not donating 🙄

BobbyBiscuits · 14/11/2024 13:08

I wish I had the brass balls to do a crowdfunder. But I don't really know anyone. I'm not on SM and it would be to get a surgery I require due to suffering from DV. So I would have to basically tell the world my sob stories which is so traumatic I could barely tell a psychiatrist.
So I wouldn't do it. I could definitely do with the money though!

JMSA · 14/11/2024 13:06

I agree with you, but haven't known of anyone in my personal life to do this.

Flumoxed · 14/11/2024 13:03

Yeah, I'm not keen on it. I think it's akin to people who ask for sponsorship money to cover costs for parachute jumps or swimming with dolphins. Don't pretend you are doing it for charity! Just book it and pay for it like everyone else!