Has afternoon tea food for a child changed significantly?

A cup of hot milk and a biscuit when they come in for a heat. Then some picky plate snacks a couple of hours later - cracker and cheese with some berries/cucumber sticks.

It's all breadsticks, hummus and cucumber or possibly pom bears at 3:30. Fwiw my child has never managed hummus and would bite your hand off if you offered fish fingers and beans whatever time of day.
Why don't you do hot chocolate and some berries on the side if you want something warm.

Surely that’s a lot for just afternoon snack?!? I assumed you meant dinner too. I’d give some fruit, biscuits cheese, houmous carrots.. that sort of thing is snack. I’d never consider a fish finger a snack!?

For a 6pm pick-up, I would do pizza, sandwiches or fish fingers together with some cut up veggies. Maybe a few fries if fish fingers. Most small children will eat before then or at least around that time, and so would be hungry by then.

Us, too! I'd be grateful for anything served mine, but if the friend's parent served a meal, something hot/cooked especially so. I forgot about the couple slices of left-over home made pizza I added to our snack plate (sliced into pieces of a couple bites each). 😋

OP 6 hours is a really long playdate for 4 year olds. Is it a playdate or are you babysitting? If the latter, feed them what you want within reason.
Cross posted with your update - you're doing her a favour, the kids eat whatever you fancy IMO.

When it's just us, we have more food cooked from scratch. But when the boy's friends come round, it's nuggies and pizza, 100%. Always play it safe when other kids are concerned! 😅

So it seems that a couple of fish fingers and a spoon of beans is 'tiny' when served for a school lunch

who has said this?

Check for allergies - peanut butter would be a no for my allergic child

I have never heard of a cooked meal for a snack on a play date?

We usually offer fruit, toast, cheese cubes, dried pretzels or similar. I would usually just cut up a few things on a small platter for them to share depending on what they like and how long they are here.
Play dates more like 2 hrs max for my 4 year old though and parent still comes too

I don't think its too much at all?

It's high tea not afternoon tea (different things as I understand it), but a small hot meal late in the afternoon is pretty standard at the nurseries around us. I like it as it allows more variety and veg than cold snacks.

It’s more I wouldn’t want to put the oven on to cook 4-6 fishfingers!

Yes this is what we serve all visiting children unless we know they don’t eat it. These days you generally need to check allergies and preferences with the parents. My 7 year old daughter has 2 vegetarian friends and a child whose parents prefer her to avoid dairy and gluten! TBF the last child usually brings a meal from home.

I think it's probably better to call it lunch so the hysteria dies down. No child will go obese eating a meal between breakfast and lunch.

So it seems that a couple of fish fingers and a spoon of beans is 'tiny' when served for a school lunch, but if it's served as a mid afternoon snack, it's an enormous meal that will set them on the road to childhood obesity, despite being more nutritious and probably fewer calories than suggested alternatives like crumpets or jam sandwiches and biscuits?

OP like your kid my kid would eat what you propose as a snack. And then have a full on meal for dinner. Kids are good at knowing how much to eat. 11:30 to 6 is very long time with just a small snack in my opinion (at that age); unless you want to deal with cranky hungry and tired kids from about 4ish onwards

I’d not bother cooking fishfingers, just do toast/crumpets. Check for allergies - dependent on answer then offer PB, houmous, cream cheese. And a couple of fruits, melon, satsuma, grapes usually a hit. Things that caught me out with fussy eaters - don’t like butter, don’t like brown bread, don’t like toast hot and must wait for it to cool so spread doesn’t melt 🤷‍♀️

The hysteria.

@DeepBalonz you think my posts show uncontrollable emotion or excitement? Weird

11.30 lunch is very early! Mine would be starving without something fairly substantial to eat before 6pm. But if mum has said no dinner, I'd do a picky plate - cubed cheese, veggie sticks, crackers, ham, dip maybe a yoghurt or something. That way they can police their own appetites and mum can't moan, but you also wont be dealing with a hangry little boy.

Afternoon tea was never a thing at nursery age. DS might have had some toast or fruit or pancakes, etc, to tide him over until 6ish when we ate our evening meal (dinner or tea depending on which bit of the UK you are in)
If your neighbour said not to feed him, just a snack, not a meal.

What you’re proposing isn’t a snack to keep them going until dinner time, it’s a whole meal. I’d give them a banana or some veg sticks and hummus. Kids don’t need an extra meal at 4pm.

2 Fishfingers was more than either of mine ate for dinner at that age, it certainly would ruin their appetite. The fact she specifically said not to serve dinner means I suggest you keep the amount modest