Has afternoon tea food for a child changed significantly?

Surely you mean, "less common"?

Chicken or potato, I'm presuming 😂.

I seem to remember a lot more odd-shaped, beige concoctions with indeterminate fillings floating round in the 80s and 90s than there are nowadays. The Jamie Oliver effect, maybe.

If they've had lunch and they are planning tea. I'd have some choice of light bites - fruit, breadsticks and humous, maybe a little sweet thing (a small slice of cake or a kitkat). That being said, I'd ask the mum honestly. Kids eat very differently at that age. If you'd fed my child 2-3 fish fingers and beans, the he wouldn't have wanted tea out. Probably triple the food he needed between lunch and tea!

Packaged pancakes, closer to American style than crepes. Just pop in the toaster like bread to warm up.

It?!

I’m not from the UK, but wth is a toasted pancake? How do you make it? And how would you put it in the toaster? 😅

Fish fingers, bean, dinosaurs, and peas....DINOSAURS???? 😂

3pm pack of crisps.

5.50pm something sugary, send them home with a bounce.

I'm genuinely bemused about all these pre-schoolers who happily get through 6.5 hours on a single piece of fruit.

My 6 year old can do that now. In pre-school no chance!

The issue here isn't op - it's the parent taking a 4 year old out for dinner after 6pm when they ate lunch at 11.30am.

I'd be grateful whatever you fed mine, but if she said no to you providing dinner then I wouldn't give them fish fingers etc.

My friends when they've had my two in similar situations have given them beans on toast. I tend to play it safe as well and offer a sandwich and some fruit, or a toasted bagel and a yoghurt or something like that.

The kid isn't staying for supper. It's going for supper at its grandparents at 6.

I’d just do sandwiches or cheese on toast with some cucumber , carrot bits , fruit and a yoghurt or jelly .

Here it would have been some fruit or cheese crackers, or half a toastie or hummus and veggie dippers or something baked.

They ate three meals as will these children

I think what you’re planning sounds fine, OP. If it helps for the future, here’s a list of meals I’ve served kids/ my kid has been served on play dates recently. All have been very acceptable, and nobody has ever raised concerns.

We do avoid nuts and some other allergens because kids we know have allergies, so we tend to play it quite safe on that front -

pizza and veg sticks with hummus
spag bol and garlic bread
sausage and mash and peas
noodle stir fry with chicken and veg
picnic plates
tomato and cheese pasta
chicken wraps with salad and fries
BBQ sausages and burgers with corn on the cob, salads and garlic bread
pancakes (that was a breakfast play date but we do make pancakes for lunch sometimes)

Puddings are typically an ice lolly, fruit or a slice of cake (less often). Our friends don’t really do fizzy drinks or sweets on play dates unless it’s a VERY special occasion- and again, I tend to err on the side of caution with that stuff.

That's unpleasant.

If they're having dinner at home which it sounds like they are I'd just put out some snacks. They don't need two dinners.

SAUSAGES!!!

Can't go wrong. Obviously with loads of ketchup to smear over the furniture (not the low sugar one, natch)

This is so weird. To serve dinner before dinner. Just no.

my reason for a platter is unles so know the child well, I also don’t know how well they usually sit and eat meals, whether they like stuff etc.. so it’s easier and less stress you just put 3-4 different things on a plate in the middle and let them choose what they like. It might be apple, cheese, mini pretzels and mini blueberry muffins. If they choose to only eat a muffin or only cheese that’s up to them

But my own 4 year old is really fussy with meals, so I wouldn’t want someone else to feed them a main meal

@Marblesbackagain what would a small snack look like in this scenario? Assuming he finishes lunch at midday and won't eat dinner until after 6pm?

If the friend’s eating dinner when he gets home at 6pm and has lunch at 11.30, I’d suggest snacks, rather than a meal like fish fingers. Otherwise he won’t eat his dinner when he gets home.

At that age, for snacks I gave mine:

• hummus or cream cheese with carrots, cucumber and breadsticks for dipping;
• chopped up fruit, like slices of apple, pear, grapes, mango, pineapple;
• dried fruit (apricots, raisins, banana chips)
• biscuits (like shortbread fingers or Pink Panther wafers).

Maybe lay a few things out on the table and his friend can take what he likes.

Also put out what your son normally has for a snack, as his friend will probably love it. Not all kids are fussy eaters.

When my kids had friends for ‘tea’ (i.e. dinner), they always just ate whatever we normally ate: curry, stir fry, pasta, salad etc.

Do you honestly think a 4 year old will get through from midday to after 6pm on one piece of fruit or a packet of crisps?

I get that more than 3 meals is generally unnecessary but nurseries and pre-schools do meals at times that sometimes make it necessary.

The child is due to have dinner with his grandparents after six. Hence the child only needs a small snack and not a dinner.

But the OP is saying 2 fish fingers and a spoon or two of beans and hasn't mentioned baked potatoes or toast at all and yet nearly everyone is saying that about 200 calories of fish fingers and beans is far too much but a pile of crumpets, biscuits, yogurts, cheese, pancakes etc is all fine. Makes no sense whatsoever.

And what's wrong with hot food exactly? So many people seem to think it's the OP that's overfeeding because her DC has more than one hot meal a day, yet they're suggesting she offers a load of carby cold crap instead.

Well when my 4 year old was in pre-school, he had lunch at 11.30am and a small tea at 3.30pm and then a small dinner with us at 6pm.

I think that's fairly standard so not too sure why everyone is accusing op of over feeding.