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Original poster

Has afternoon tea food for a child changed significantly?

213 replies

DeepBalonz · 13/11/2024 17:10

I’ve just moved back to the UK. DS (4) has a play date with the neighbour’s son. As a 90s kid I was given fish fingers and beans, dinosaurs and peas etc as tea at friends’ houses.

Is that kind of food still the done thing or has it all gone a bit posh along with most other things?

Too early for dinner but still a decent time since lunch so fruit and peanut butter probably won’t be enough.

OP posts:
WhatNext24 · 13/11/2024 22:50

Your tea sounded fine until you mentioned eating dinosaurs...?

Disturbia81 · 13/11/2024 22:48

DeepBalonz · 13/11/2024 17:10

I’ve just moved back to the UK. DS (4) has a play date with the neighbour’s son. As a 90s kid I was given fish fingers and beans, dinosaurs and peas etc as tea at friends’ houses.

Is that kind of food still the done thing or has it all gone a bit posh along with most other things?

Too early for dinner but still a decent time since lunch so fruit and peanut butter probably won’t be enough.

Definitely oven food for the playdates, and when I've said that to parents they've all been relieved as that's what their kids eat.

Waffle19 · 13/11/2024 22:45

Also can’t find the comment but to the person who said four year olds don’t need four meals… 1) OP isn’t suggesting a full meal, 2) My 4yo will sometimes eat two breakfasts, lunch, a second lunch when in from school, then tea. Very healthy and active, would rather five meals a day than a billion snacks.

Waffle19 · 13/11/2024 22:43

Not sure why you’re getting so much flack here OP. My kids would be absolutely starving going from 3.30 until 6 without anything substantial. I’d be chuffed you’d given them some hot rather just a pack of crisps etc. Yes you could give them veggie sticks and a crumpet etc but I don’t see this as being a worse option and it will fill them up and keep them happy!

EastEndQueen · 13/11/2024 22:40

PS: such absolute nonsense on this thread. In my experience, all children fall out of school STARVING and I would much rather they ate fish fingers than a billion haribo (or were left to be hungry until official meal time 🫠)

Mumtobabyhavoc · 13/11/2024 22:40

Marblesbackagain · 13/11/2024 22:17

The op is suggesting two fish fingers and beans as a snack, the mother of the child has stated they will have an evening meal not to give a dinner.

I am sorry but it is a fact that the op proposal is a meal a typical size volume and calories for a meal not a snack. That isn't subjective.

The comments on child obesity relates to the well published and clearly viewable there is a growing issue with children who are significantly overweight. They can't all have genetic issues.

I see it everyday walking by a certain fast food place, children who can't run around, clothing barely closing snd eating full adult meals. It is abusive and tragic the life long health issues that are being laid down.

Show quote history

Fair, but could you be extrapolating too much based on the comments in this thread. That's all. 🤷‍♀️

EastEndQueen · 13/11/2024 22:38

FlingThatCarrot · 13/11/2024 17:39

That wouldn't be acceptable around here. Frozen food type stuff is pretty looked down on. My kids wouldn't eat nuggets or fish fingers but would eat chicken thighs/ an actual piece of fish.

Something like cheese and crackers or pitta and houmous with veggie sticks or crumpets or savory muffin with fruit would be more common.

Honestly I don’t think this is representative.

Mine are in a ‘leafy’ bit of the London suburbs and fish fingers/ nuggets are a playdate standard. Or maybe pasta with tomato sauce/ mac and cheese/ bolognaise. The only thing I avoid strictly is any pork as we have a high Muslim population at the school . I tend to text parents in advance saying ‘planning to give them dinner at x time, what do they like?’ to avoid anyone’s food wastage.

Nordione1 · 13/11/2024 22:38

DeepBalonz · 13/11/2024 22:37

well if serving a couple of fish fingers causes confusion then the problem is beyond me.

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What do you need from us here?

AliasGrape · 13/11/2024 22:38

Marblesbackagain · 13/11/2024 22:17

The op is suggesting two fish fingers and beans as a snack, the mother of the child has stated they will have an evening meal not to give a dinner.

I am sorry but it is a fact that the op proposal is a meal a typical size volume and calories for a meal not a snack. That isn't subjective.

The comments on child obesity relates to the well published and clearly viewable there is a growing issue with children who are significantly overweight. They can't all have genetic issues.

I see it everyday walking by a certain fast food place, children who can't run around, clothing barely closing snd eating full adult meals. It is abusive and tragic the life long health issues that are being laid down.

Show quote history

But your ‘facts’ are not ‘facts’ at all. And of course it’s subjective.

Actual, measurable facts - Two fishfingers and 3 tablespoons of beans is no different calorie wise than many of the ‘snacks’ being suggested here, it’s less in some cases. And it contains more protein and less sugar than many of the suggestions.

Plus, these are 4 year olds who won’t have eaten since a sandwich at 11.30 and won’t be eating again until after 6pm.

Original poster
DeepBalonz · 13/11/2024 22:37

Nordione1 · 13/11/2024 22:36

You haven't changed your mind this whole thread so I'm not sure why you are asking everyone for their views?

The confusion I think for people and why we've all got in a muddle is that you are serving what most on here would consider normal supper food as a snack. That's all there is to it. And you are still 100% determined to do so despite that being pointed out which is perfectly fine, so what do you need from us now? Probably not any other opinions needed? Or any opinions in the first place really.

Bit of a pointless thread...

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well if serving a couple of fish fingers causes confusion then the problem is beyond me.

OP posts:
Nordione1 · 13/11/2024 22:36

DeepBalonz · 13/11/2024 22:30

No I’m not suggesting fish fingers and beans constitute a perfectly well balanced snack.

The timings are awkward. The visiting boy will have had sandwiches at 11:30 am and no dinner until after 6pm. My suggestion is to offer somewhat of an in between option. I can’t believe I am explaining this to this degree!

I am trying to come up with an imperfect solution to an imperfect scenario. I want to give them a bit more substance than just some cheese and fruit whilst also leaving room for dinner.

The boys are both perfectly healthy weights. I wholeheartedly adopt an everything in moderation approach. To suggest what I am doing exemplifies why the UK has a child obesity crisis is absurd.

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You haven't changed your mind this whole thread so I'm not sure why you are asking everyone for their views?

The confusion I think for people and why we've all got in a muddle is that you are serving what most on here would consider normal supper food as a snack. That's all there is to it. And you are still 100% determined to do so despite that being pointed out which is perfectly fine, so what do you need from us now? Probably not any other opinions needed? Or any opinions in the first place really.

Bit of a pointless thread...

Original poster
DeepBalonz · 13/11/2024 22:31

Some very bloody sanctimonious people on this thread who need to get off their high horses.

Thanks to everyone who has offered advice.

OP posts:
DeepRoseFish · 13/11/2024 22:31

You know what they say…. ask stupid questions and all

Original poster
DeepBalonz · 13/11/2024 22:30

Marblesbackagain · 13/11/2024 22:17

The op is suggesting two fish fingers and beans as a snack, the mother of the child has stated they will have an evening meal not to give a dinner.

I am sorry but it is a fact that the op proposal is a meal a typical size volume and calories for a meal not a snack. That isn't subjective.

The comments on child obesity relates to the well published and clearly viewable there is a growing issue with children who are significantly overweight. They can't all have genetic issues.

I see it everyday walking by a certain fast food place, children who can't run around, clothing barely closing snd eating full adult meals. It is abusive and tragic the life long health issues that are being laid down.

Show quote history

No I’m not suggesting fish fingers and beans constitute a perfectly well balanced snack.

The timings are awkward. The visiting boy will have had sandwiches at 11:30 am and no dinner until after 6pm. My suggestion is to offer somewhat of an in between option. I can’t believe I am explaining this to this degree!

I am trying to come up with an imperfect solution to an imperfect scenario. I want to give them a bit more substance than just some cheese and fruit whilst also leaving room for dinner.

The boys are both perfectly healthy weights. I wholeheartedly adopt an everything in moderation approach. To suggest what I am doing exemplifies why the UK has a child obesity crisis is absurd.

OP posts:
DeepRoseFish · 13/11/2024 22:30

Just give them whatever you can find in the house I’m sure it will be fine

Original poster
DeepBalonz · 13/11/2024 22:24

mymissycat · 13/11/2024 20:49

I’m not from the UK, but fish fingers, beans and chips would be considered a friday night extremely lazy dinner. Not an afternoon snack. Chips or even crisps as an everyday snack for kids, the rest of us can’t quite get our heads around it tbh.

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It is lazy. And I am okay with that. I’m not trying to impress anyone.

I have 2 four year olds to look after whilst unpacking a house. Fish fingers and baked beans are perfectly fine nutrition wise. The baked fish fingers are a good source of protein whilst the beans count as one of your 5 a day and provide fibre.

I’m not giving chips.

OP posts:
Marblesbackagain · 13/11/2024 22:17

Mumtobabyhavoc · 13/11/2024 22:08

I don't think there enough info here from anyone to assess their knowledge of nutrition, what the overall diet of their children is, activity level, health status, weight, etc.

Show quote history

The op is suggesting two fish fingers and beans as a snack, the mother of the child has stated they will have an evening meal not to give a dinner.

I am sorry but it is a fact that the op proposal is a meal a typical size volume and calories for a meal not a snack. That isn't subjective.

The comments on child obesity relates to the well published and clearly viewable there is a growing issue with children who are significantly overweight. They can't all have genetic issues.

I see it everyday walking by a certain fast food place, children who can't run around, clothing barely closing snd eating full adult meals. It is abusive and tragic the life long health issues that are being laid down.

Oppenwood · 13/11/2024 22:14

mymissycat · 13/11/2024 20:49

I’m not from the UK, but fish fingers, beans and chips would be considered a friday night extremely lazy dinner. Not an afternoon snack. Chips or even crisps as an everyday snack for kids, the rest of us can’t quite get our heads around it tbh.

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I’m from the uk and agree!

HollyKnight · 13/11/2024 22:14

mymissycat · 13/11/2024 19:31

I’m not from the UK, but wth is a toasted pancake? How do you make it? And how would you put it in the toaster? 😅

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Buy pancakes, put in toaster, lightly brown, butter, eat.

Has afternoon tea food for a child changed significantly?
Oppenwood · 13/11/2024 22:13

DeepBalonz · 13/11/2024 17:18

It won’t be the evening meal. The boys go to a half day nursery. This will just be something to hold them over until dinner.

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In that case I normally just do a plate of cucumber, bread sticks, rice cakes, satsuma, apple, cheese, hummus etc. put it on the table and let them help themselves to what they want.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 13/11/2024 22:08

Marblesbackagain · 13/11/2024 18:15

Sadly there is a very high number of obese children it isn't funny and yes there's a lot of over feeding going on.

Children who are a healthy weight at this age have their ribs visible. We are in a situation where we can't buy clothing for healthy children due to the growing need to facilitate over weight children.

Threads like these clearly show there is a huge issue in people having a clue what is an appropriate amount of food for a young child.

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I don't think there enough info here from anyone to assess their knowledge of nutrition, what the overall diet of their children is, activity level, health status, weight, etc.

diddl · 13/11/2024 21:57

If I had specifically requested that my child was not given dinner, then they came home and told me they’d had fish fingers and beans for ‘tea’ I’d be a bit miffed. That would sound to me as though my stated wishes have been completely ignored.

As a rule though if someone if looking after your kids for that length of time you would just roll with it I would have thought rather than expecting Op to change what she does.

I suppose it also depends how much/what they eat at nursery & what time Op would feed them as to whether it would really impact.

Mandylovescandy · 13/11/2024 21:55

I would ask - my ARFID child wouldn't eat any of that but then there is very little they will eat and I would probably send them with food and tell you. Probably not very likely to be the case here but surely worth checking re allergies, dietary requirements etc

Fluufer · 13/11/2024 21:49

Smartiepants79 · 13/11/2024 21:06

I said cheese or toast. Not both.
An apple a digestive and half a piece of toast is a snack.
The fact is, that in the uk, white British household, fish fingers and beans is seen as a full, dinner, meal for a small child.
If I had specifically requested that my child was not given dinner, then they came home and told me they’d had fish fingers and beans for ‘tea’ I’d be a bit miffed. That would sound to me as though my stated wishes have been completely ignored.
I love fish fingers, no issue with feeding them to anyone. BUT they are not appropriate in this instant.

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How is 200 calories of carbs and sugar better than a couple of fish fingers?

girlofsandwich · 13/11/2024 21:47

I'm absolutely having a freezer fest dinner on Friday after reading this thread.

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