Honest opinions ... is a UK 14/16 seen as unattractive for dating as a 50 year old?

Many people assume, wrongly, that exercise helps you lose weight. It does not. Only diet works. Exercise helps redistribute your bulk. You must eat less, and more wisely.

So my only question - and I wouldn’t know the answer - is are you on the right dating apps and sites? They can be geared to different age groups and expectations….(When my son’s long term girlfriend broke up with him and he turned to the main dating app here in NZ he did not get many matches. He was in his late 30s, tall, reasonably good looking but looks his age. It’s an app used more by people in their 20s. Although it worked out in the end - met his future wife who was also in his 30s).

How come you were single in your early 40s? Most people are well settled by that age.

Plenty of people are single at that age, be it because they were settled and are now divorced, or widowed, or never met someone they would set up home with. Or a load of others reasons.

Being attractive is a state of mind. It's how you carry yourself, and ultimately how you view yourself. We can't be deterministic that this or that attracts people. People attract people. Look in the mirror, ask yourself what your best features are, embrace your flaws, tell yourself no one is entitled to label you. You're 50? Fine. I know people in their 20s or 30s who feel exactly the same about themselves, wondering if they're attractive enough, so no, that's not an age issue. The right guy will like you for who you are and not for what I-don't-know-who decided you should be.

I think you are putting yourself down you say you are 14/16 dress well attractive you say you are overweight but if you are going by bmi that’s so out of date. You are overthinking this . Not all men prefer younger women op

That was funny! I was like, when have chickens become a deal-breaker in a relationship? Oh wait, chickens?

Come now. It was you that said 20s and 40s in order to get your 'strong stomach' line in. If you'd have said 12 years like most would, people wouldn't have assumed, but the line wouldn't have worked.

I made it sound worse than it probably is. It may have been a throwaway remark when i was lamenting my grey hairs, which i got very young. He said something like I don't care about women getting old just not fat. I know he likes slimmer women but I'm not saying he would leave a woman if they got fat. I was just seeing a similarity in what the other male poster said and wondered if it was a pattern for men.

My wife drew my attention to this thread.

The OP had asked for responses from men. Guessing she wouldn’t get many, I responded.

Do you have an issue with that? If so, why?

What was your motivation is coming onto a female dominated forum to tell a 50 yr old, size 14 woman who's struggling with OLD; that you, a not even single man, would probably never date her (even if attracted to her), prefer "slimmer" women, and your (much younger) wife is a size 6??

I'm just wondering what your motivation is.

Can you see why someone might wonder what your motivation is?

You could say the same for women too.

I wouldn't - because women are not men.

Things are still very very different for men and women, as this thread demonstrates.

You could say the same for women too. I was single (and still am) in my early 40s.

There's nothing worrying about it. I split with my exh at 40. My brother got married at 49, he was happy living the bachelor life but then he met the right woman.

Not sure where this idea that people who aren't settled down in their 40s are somehow odd or have some deep seated issues has come from!

You came on here and told a size 14 woman that you might be attracted to her, but not enough to date her

I did. In response to this question from that same woman.

Honestly, especially to men on here, is that size and body type unattractive to you on a woman who is 50?

No, I said "nearly" so I didn't assume your age gap was the maximum.

What drama?

You came on here and told a size 14 woman that you might be attracted to her, but not enough to date her.

That your wife is a size 6 and you've always preferred "slimmer" women.

But your wife's size is not remotely representative of the UK (or any developed country outside the Far East).and size 6 is not "slimmer".

Pointing that out is "drama" apparently.

You've also specified that you have a big age gap with your wife - whom you met when she was in her 20s and you were in your 40s ..... And that that is common in both your families... Referring to that is also "drama" apparently.

I did, and you have made the assumption, incorrectly, that our age gap must be the maximum possible within that range.

It all adds to the drama I suppose.

Do you understand averages?

I understood trying to sell clothes (for decades) ..... And I don't sell any size 6s or 8s. I sell lots and lots and lots of 12-14 plus clothing.
That is because most women in the UK are a 12 or above.

Being a size 6 as an adult female is, again, not representative.

You said she was in her 20s and you were in your 40s (if early 40s).

Yes, I got that dear.

Nearly 20 years older?

Do you understand averages?
Or humour?
I wasn't being entirely serious, as I clearly do exist.
🙄

The women nearly 20 years older too?

Thought not.

Dysfunction leads to dysfunction, I suppose.

I always love the MN hyperbole and extremity and misrepresentation rolled into one.

No-one said they don't exist.

I said they not representative!

The average size in the UK is a 14.

Since an amazing number of size 6 posters have turned up on this thread (well 2 so far, 3 including that bloke's wife) - if you fancy buying a Sisley plum coloured puffer coat on eBay for charity ..... Please do so, I think you're my only chance of selling it.

Indian. Indian women like Asian women can look fairly healthy at size 6, to the point where a UK size 6 is a medium in Indian stores.

Divorced.

I wasn’t looking for anybody. She made the first move.

Parents, hers and mine, not bothered at all. Similar age gaps are common in both our families and friendship groups.

I'm 5'6" and a size 6-8 depending on brand. I don't know why that poster is going so hard on her point. I find clothes to fit me in lots of different places, men never comment on my 'skinniness', my bmi is in the healthy category, I run and do yoga so am fit and toned not some starved waif. I don't feel like my size is particularly unusual or that I stand out amongst other women as some kind of freak. I don't think there is a need to make other people feel bad about their bodies to make a point.