Honest opinions ... is a UK 14/16 seen as unattractive for dating as a 50 year old?

This. 😅

I actually think it's their baseline of objectifying women ....that makes them think the way they do.

They don't see the "context", of her life, her prospects, her peer group, her wants ... Because she's an object to them.

I had a date with a man who told me my dress was ‘a bit too bright for a date’ meanwhile he looked like he’d slept in a skip.

It's like there's something in the effect of testosterone on the brain that makes men feel entitled to judge women's looks, presentation, age etc etc - while being completely oblivious to their own looks, presentation and age.

They don't have a chance with the vast vast majority of women in their 20s ...unless it is a sugar baby "relationship" (or very occasionally a vulnerable young woman).

So they can look all they want.

Wanting doesn't equal getting.

I've been forced to say nothing to numerous men since my teens who assumed I was a romantic prospect for them in spite of them bring significantly older and often not even attractive.... In order not to be verbally abused.

A significant portion of the male population is "aspirational", shall we say, about their dating prospects. Delusional, un self aware, shameless and serious chancers.

I have only seen the equivalent maybe once or twice in years and years, in females so far.

Why anyone thinks it matters that they want significantly younger women,; when younger women have opportunities with younger men - who make up 50-50 of the population, is WTF.

Unless there's financial incentive, mamy 20 something women would not touch over 35, 40 at a pinch. Even then, they are far more likely to encounter and get involved with men their own age through school/college/uni/part-time jobs/sports/youth groups/friendship groups/clubs etc. etc. They have far more in common with their peers and their peers will be on average significantly more sexually attractive. They'll also have less baggage (or none).

So they can want all they like. What they get is something else entirely.

I do also think as another PP says - make them work for it. If someone doesnt like you - then just like the move on and dont take it personally. Some men are truly deluded as to what they can offer and YOU also can afford to be choosy!

Its bloody frustrating that men in their 50's think they can catch a women in their late 30's. I wish it wasnt true. Yes, I think weight sadly could be a factor. I met DH online dating a number of years ago now and on talking to potential dates I would say 50% plus wanted to know my size.

The fact is that I am petite and a size 10 however most of the men I did eventually meet were hardly god's gift and I was early 30's. As the OP states - they fib about their age, height etc ever hopeful that once I met them I would be persuaded that there was a George Clooney in there somewhere.

What’s with all the dress sexy look feminine sexist shit?

Seriously by age 50 us women know our personal style and what works for us so turning up for an afternoon coffee date in ‘something sexy’ is really not good advice.

Be you. Dress in your personal style. If they don’t like the way you present them they’re not the right one.

I had a date with a man who told me my dress was ‘a bit too bright for a date’ meanwhile he looked like he’d slept in a skip.

Do you and be comfortable with yourself is the best advice

Once you have them that is another game but to start and get one that is not 20 years older (as many have stated men go for younger women because....well why not, they can)

Sure, they can 'go for' younger women.

But the reality is that unless they have something very special to offer, these younger women will not be going for them.

I could be wrong, but I get the impression the OP is looking for a partner to have a relationship with? If all she wanted was to make randoms want sex with her, all she needs to do is...well...exist.

Hello beautiful Lemon, The short story is that the majority of men are after only a few things and they start with 1) Sex and 2) What they cant have. So, if you really want one then you have to play the part. Once you have them that is another game but to start and get one that is not 20 years older (as many have stated men go for younger women because....well why not, they can). So back to what you have to do. Be sexy. It does NOT matter that you are a little overweight. You are fine. Wear a sexy dress but do not overdo it. Do not seem desperate. Do not treat men like potential friends. He is sizing you up for sex and you have to play this angle from the start. Do not have sex with him the first night. Make him wait. Remember no 2, he wants what he cannot have. Be confident in yourself. Until you are confident in your sexy appeal do not meet them. Too many turn downs might affect your confidence which is crucial to your success. Good luck my dear sister.

All the makeover programs I’ve watched over the years say pretty much the same thing. Men tend to prefer traditionally feminine looking women. That means in at the waist with boobs and a bum I guess. It’s the biological blue print they’ve got in their brains for ‘fertility’ and ‘worth the effort’ in cave man terms. Just dress in a feminine way and accentuate the boobs and legs. Get a feminine hair do, pretty clothes and pretty makeup. It’s a pretty simple message it seems - as men are pretty simple (stupid) creatures. We’ll when it comes to judging what’s ‘attractive’ anyway. Good luck and have fun out there.

Obviously women of all ages, shapes and sizes find love.

Does the average woman in her 20s who is size 8 have more options than the average woman in her 50s who is size 16? Yes. But we were all in our 20s once, now it is our time to get old.

My advice would be expand the kind of person you're willing to date: is someone shorter, and has less hair and who looks a bit older than you hoped that bad? What if they tick every other box? Obviously you have to be attracted to them, but attraction can grow over time. Basically, (if you're not doing it already) give yourself a chance to get to know these guys.

Otherwise, you risk doing similar to them. Women often have a list, which is just as harsh, but not based on being a much younger age/small size. E.g. Good job, own home, nice car, tall, adult kids or no kids etc etc etc etc.

These things are, to say the least of it, unpredictable. When I was 70 (I'm even older now) I embarked on a relationship with someone over 30 years younger. She was interested in something I am an authority in - nothing to do with sex. We lived together for years and are still very close, though no longer in a relationship. I now see someone who is even younger. We get on very well and have known each other for 8 years.

I was a size 16 when I met my second husband at age 51 after being widowed. I'm 74 now and probably more like a UK 18-20 but we've been happily married for 22 years so I guess it didn't put him off.

I've just got back from a 25 day back to back cruise. A small handful of Brits and other nationalities, the rest were USA citizens who are typically larger than life in personality and size. The vast majority of the women either had partners or got dates on board. There were newly wed women of all ages and they were all very overweight. Don't get me wrong, the men were mainly overweight too.

So, no I don't think 14/16 is big - it isn't big. I believe size 16 is the average size in the UK. I think men seek younger women because most men our age don't want a relationship ie wife, they want a trophy or a shag.

Keep looking though, you might just find a diamond....

I'd even settle for a 'great female friendship group' at the moment😁

In my 40's and the only way I think I'd meet someone now is naturally and not online. Seems impossible for that to happen these days though!

I’m possibly unusual but I’m 55 and I’ve set the filters on my online dating apps to 50 to 60.

But… I’ve got a 12 year old daughter and in a recent thread the general consensus was that I need to set my filters down to say 40 because women my age have generally got grown up children and are looking for a bloke that’s in the same boat.

But I don’t really want to do that because I feel weird about dating someone a lot younger than me.

I’m probably not typical of most blokes though. 😀

I can only speak anecdotally but I know so many attractive, intelligent, outgoing, confident, funny older women who are long term single because there just aren't the quality or quantity of eligible men out there.

Many of my friends have given up ever finding a partner now and just happy with a great female friendship group.

My recently deceased DM was divorced at 45, but happy with a new partner at 50 who was 12 years older. When he died at 70, she had offers but only from men who fancied a cheap fling or those who wanted a maid/cook/bedmate. So she declined all the invitations. Her opinion was that the men who made overtures would have been cocklodgers or passengers. But I also have an auntie who is 20 years older than her lover, and he still seems keen.

I think as others have said, it's more to do with age.

I want to date men, say from 5 years younger than me, to 5 years older.

Appears I have no chance, men around my age are looking for much younger women, maybe in their 20's with a cut off point of 40. Yes I've seen so on profiles. don't want to date a 55+ or 60, 70 year old. More women look after themselves in comparison to their male counterparts, I know there are exceptions.

From reading this one and other threads, seeing the hatred towards women, it doesn’t take much to work out, there are many men on MN, also some women supporting this.

S’ok, we know you don’t have a wife, or indeed know any women. Why would a wife encourage a man to sign up to a forum to post on this thread? It’s palpable nonsense.

Thank you for your kind thoughts.

I think we all have an issue with it. But really hope you and your tiny young wife are happy and great she reads mumsnet brining threads to your attention.

To play devils advocate. I worked with someone who claimed she was a 16 and she was bursting out her clothes she was more a 22/24. I know some people wear clothing way to small and unflattering on them. So are you wearing a loose fitted 14/16 or very tight fit.

It depends what your looking for. It might bw the type your trying to attract also.